Madison, you may already have seen this, but I wanted to point to a thread which curlysarah started in the General Diabetes Topics and Pre-Diabetes section.
The title is "Telling the Endo to Back Off". It is a link to and a quote of the contents of a blog recently posted on huffingtonpost.com: "Why I Told My Diabetes Doctor to Back Off"
I copied one part of this blog which I thought may resonate some with you below.
Recently, I was working with a colleague who also has Type 1 diabetes and I asked him, "Why do blood glucose meter companies always seem to put a 101 or a 98 blood glucose value reading on the front of their meter packaging? Why don't they put a 201 or even a 250? How about a 180?" He dryly answered, "They want us to feel as bad as possible."
We laughed but seriously, are these numbers supposed to be our goal? Is 98 a good number as we head out on a 3-mile jog? Is it a good pre-meal number? Where is that number headed? Up? Down? Steady? I constantly adjust my number goals based on my circumstances. Am I at home? At work? What time of day is it? Am I stressed? How do you correct a high blood sugar that is due to stress? On and on and on.
How is your meditation going? Can you pull yourself back far enough from all the many distractions your life is currently filled with to get a sense of where & who you are?
-iJohn
T1 LADA since ~1978; first pump Minimed 507 ~1996
presently: Medtronic Paradigm 723 (04/2013) + CGM (11/2014)