20th May 2010

So not going to well, havent injected for god knows how long, buthave ,lost quite a bit of weight which is good? at the moment im reivising for my as level exams, first one tomorrow ahhhhhhhhh rather panicing, would probablybe more focused if i actually injected but its a hard decision to make. I have a friend who is rather overweight, the other day i had drank all my water, so i drank ome of herts, i imediatley became parinoid that i was going to baloon in weight because i drank her water, something i have never been bothered about before. The thing is because im eating more at the moment, my sugars are higher and im losin more weight, bad thing is im finding it harder to breathe and my mom keeps commenting that there is a smell of nail polish remever, im contemplating keep going til my exams are over and then get addmitted to hospital, i need to get this sorted but i dont want to put on weight, what do i do? i cant tell my mom because she doesnt understand, i dont think she even knows this illness really exists, its not my issue with diabetes, its my issues with food, i cant tell my boyfriend i cant tell anyone, im well and truely stuck.

My heart goes out to you. I think you are brave for posting about this. And I am sure you full well realize how that you have some very serious problems with food, self perception and your overall thinking. You really need to get some help. If you can’t talk to your mom and you can’t tell your boyfriend then you must feel terribly isolated. You may feel utterly helpless and “stuck,” but do not for a minute believe that. You have the power. You can make the choice. You already have, you came here and posted, telling us about this.

Make the choice. Talk to those around you. Talk to some friend. Talk to the nurse at school. Talk to you doctor. You need to save yourself. In the end you must realize, we all make our choice to live. You already told me your choice by posting here, you just need to follow through.

Holly, nothing is more important than your health. Please go to the hospital right away. The “nail polish remover” smell is a very serious indicator. You can take the exams later, and will be able to focus on them better. We are worried that you may be going into DKA.

Holly, know that you are not alone! There are many people in our community that have been through a similar struggle as what you are facing now. We are here for you.

I think the first step is to go to the hospital now and focus on that. Nothing (not even the exams) are more important than taking care of this.

I know how horrible it feels to be that high and if you are getting close to DKA, which is likely, then this is really urgent. Please go to the hospital right away.

Sending you lots of hugs!

Holly, I just want you to be o.k. and I’m afraid you will get very sick if you don’t get some help. Please tell somebody what you are doing.

Please go to the ER immediately. You’ve got several symptoms of DKA & this isn’t anything to mess around with. You’ll feel worse & get sicker if you don’t take care of it now. Saying this because I was near comatose & nearly died from DKA when I thought all I had was the flu.

I don’t know if this will work for you Holly and I don’t mean to be harsh but are you aware that you are not actually losing weight? You are dehydrating yourself and your body is shedding all it’s water. Once it is finished with that it will start eating your insides, you will be losing muscles and parts of your vital organs, that is what you are peeing out. Remember that your heart is also a muscle. One of my friends now gets really low Blood pressure and passes out a lot as she has neuropathy in her heart valves as a result of not taking her insulin properly, she’s 21. Also as your sitting your exams, are you aware that severe dehydration shrinks your brain, seriously google it I’m not joking. Whatever you do don’t stop drinking water, if your in DKA and not drinking water then you will not be able to flush any of the ketones out your system and you could die of dehydration, even if you do keep drinking though this may happen anyway as your body desperately tries to rid itself of the sugar in your blood.

Of course this may have no effect on you whatsoever, it didn’t on me. It took me to start going blind at 25 to realise that I had to get help. And the complications I had before that were awful. I don’t have any onf my own teeth, I kept on geting absesses as my immue system couldn’t fight them off, then I had to get the front teeth taken out and wear a denture. I always ALWAYS had thrush which was uncomfortable and embarrasing and kept me from having any kind of relationship with the opposite sex.

Oh and all my hair fell out.

I would still look in the mirror though and go ‘just one more pound, just one more pound’ I have no teeth and and half bald but just one more pound and it will make everything better.’

Then throw into the mix that I lost all my friends because I was to sick to go out, then I lost my job because I was never in and I got thrown out my (signed to a record label) band because I could barely get through a set.

I just don’t want you to fool yourself that you’re losing ‘fat’ youre not I’m and it will start to become apparent soon enough. I just don’t think you realise that if youre nor careful you could lose a hell of a lot more than weight

You need to get some help. Now before this really gets a grip and ruins your life, and believ me, it will.

If you give me your locality I will personally make it my mission in life to find you someone that can help you.

I don’t know if what I ve said will make you angry with me. Maybe you do know all this already, if that is the case and you’re still omitting then you really need support. Please let me help you.

Oh Honey…You need to go to the ER, your life is in jeopardy right now! Please go NOW.

I hope you read the post from DiabeticGuineapig several times. Most people here consider your current condition to be a medical emergency. It probably is. But what you really need to do is listen to what DiabeticGuineapig says. She is no doubt trying to scare you, but she also offering to personally help you. Please take her up on her offer. She understands this stuff. Frankly I and many others don’t really understand what you are going through. Send her a message, make the move and let her help you save yourself. That is after all why you came here in the first place.

Hi thanks for your comment. I run a charity dealing with this www.dwed.org.uk and I see this all day every day. Often the girls don’t actually realise what it is that’s going on in their body they only see less insulin - weight loss, and once it gets to a point they don’t realise that it’s not fat, it’s not ‘weight’ but they’re stuck, unfortunately sometimes they die. This isn’t scaremongering it’s the truth, that happens to be very very scary indeed.

How are you doing Holly?