4 years ago today: the day that changed my whole world

I can't believe its been 4 years. 4 years ago i was living in NYC and was just laid off. 4 years ago, I cried my eyes out and was an extremely upset person. 4 years ago, I go hunting around to get my prescriptions filled for something I wasn't prepared for or even ready to take on. 4 years ago was my first Lantus shot in a syringe where I cried bloody murder as I didnt want my boyfriend at that time to give me the shot. 4 years ago I had to think ahead how I was going to survive.

4 years ago, I found out I was a diabetic. Sitting in the dr's office not really ready to hear the word diabetic. I swore to myself in the 80s as a kid watching the news with my mom about diabetes that I wouldn't get it. And yet, I did! At the newly age of 29 and just freshly let go of a job i was at for a bit over a year. I cried in the dr's office. I cried on the way home. I knew I had to study for my medical billing and coding classes that just started 2 weeks before was on the back burner that night. I decided to go onto the internet and find sources to learn more. I thought how did I get diabetes? No one in my family has it. How did I end up being the guinea pig for this. I already have enough diagnoses that I dont need another to add to my list. I instantly thought that i would have to give up everything that I enjoyed eating to later find out I can still have it but not too much.

I had to be weaned off of my then boyfriend doing the meds for me to me learning how to do it. I remember the first time I had to check my sugar levels I made him do it with me. I actually had him do it first. I had to learn to prep myself for these shots. I had to learn a method that wouldn't cause too much anxiety for me.

In these 4 years I've had my ups and downs. I learned to better portion my favorite foods, do better with the shots, and fight my way to get the tools i need that will help me. After 4 years I decided to do a continuous glucose monitor and still waiting for my pump. I have had days where I couldn't get my medications and suffered to where my A1C was at 13% and now is at 7.1%. I cursed, kicked and screamed at Diabetes. I had to learn it wasn't going to ever go away and it may cause other issues for me. It already caused issues for me with my kidneys.

I had a medical bracelet and have lost it many times. So, I decided to get a tattoo.

What 4 years has done thus far.