For the record I am never going to be one of those, "Diabetes sucks I hate my life" type people. That's just not my personality.
With that said this morning I had a moment where Diabetes just got on my damn nerves.
Today I woke up really LOW (45), after having good (100, 74, 75)mornings for the last few days (my endo told me to come down on my Lantus from 14 to 11 units a night). Anyway, all I wanted to do was make a bowl of Kashi cereal (I love it and it has no adverse effect on me) with strawberries and bananas. But instead of just doing it FIRST I had to...
A.) Treat the low...
B.) Bolus 5 units for the cereal (the cereal is high fiber but the banana and strawberries are in it...not to mention my Truvia sweetner).
C.) Test again (60 this time)...
Now I can eat.
In that moment I actually thought about HAVING to do it ALL of the time. Sometimes I just want to EAT and not care about whether or not insulin is going to cover my carbs. It makes me feel like a robot.
But...
Silver lining...
I have a great appreciation for every single thing that I eat because I know that it will be good for me. Having lived with this for three years (on my 21st birthday I was in the hospital with DKA while other adults my age were out getting plastered. I don't even that because I live above the influence anyway)the one thing I've learned is discipline, for sure. It takes a certain type of person to adapt to THIS level of regimentation.
Well, it turned into more of a lesson than a burn out rant.
But yah I totally had a moment today.
Now I feel better.
Thanks for listening!
Oh my. Yeah, even the most disciplined among us have those "moments." Had one last weekend. Just wanted it to go away for a while and let me think about something else.
Ranting is good for the soul. Have at it.
I can definitely relate to the just wanting to eat without thinking about what you're eating and how many carbs it has. And in my case, how much protein too, because protein keeps my BG elevated for hours.
And I have to tell you I LOVE your "above the influence" phrase -- I'm going to steal it!! :-)