A Wake Up Call

This morning I slept through my 5:30am alarm by about 2 hours. I’m not surprised I did because I fell asleep so late, but when I woke up this morning that wasn’t my only surprise.

I had gone low (really low) sometime in the middle of the night and had sweat through all my clothing and onto my bedsheets...ok that wasn't too unusual, but when I awoke I realized I had lost control of my motor skills. Entirely. I could not force myself to move, I couldn't formulate words, but I could still think (thank god). I attempted to get out of bed even though I knew I couldn't walk and ended up throwing myself on the floor in an attempt to crawl to my desk and get my tabs. Unfortunately, it didn't really work. I just ended up crying out in frustration a lot and throwing myself randomly across the floor.

My roommate, whose mother and father are diabetic (thank goodness again) heard me and came in because she had hard my alarm going off earlier and knew something was wrong. She brought in the frosting goodness and juice, but after some spoonfuls of frosting, I could still not control my motor skills enough to talk or drink and I was having trouble swallowing. With whatever mental fortitude I had I managed to get out something that sounded vaguely like "you have to call." My roommate asked "your mom?" "No." "911?" And I nodded because I really thought i might die this time. I don't know why, but this morning really was the closest I've ever felt to death. I couldn't control myself at all. I couldn't even crawl on the floor. I kept trying, so hard, but instead I kept failing entirely and I couldn't even say anything to anyone.

I feel terrible. My roommate was so scared..she still is. She came home twice between classes to check on me (I'm really tired/scared/stressed so I took a day off). She should be scared. I should be scared. It's never been this bad before, but I get enough lows in a week to know that if noone is around it could get this bad one day and there will be no one to help me. I tried to think of what I would have done this morning if my roommate hadn't been home to help me, but I could think of nothing. Even if I could dial 911, I have only an out of state cellphone (no landline) and I wouldn't have been able to tell them where I was anyway. Of course my liver might have kicked in at some point and tried to help me out, but it obviously hadn't done much during the night so who knows...

I know I need better control, it's just difficult because I'm all over the spectrum. I'm getting a new endo next week (poor guy), but hopefully I'll be able to revamp my care somehow and find middle ground. I always seem to go low when I manage to get myself into a decent routine and otherwise I'm running high and spending most of my day correcting (and overcorrecting).

Anyway, wish me luck, and if you have any advice for getting into a healthy and stable routine, I'd love to hear it. Specifically, I'm wondering if I should restrict my diet in some way (only eat certain planned meals for a while or something like that). I don't know if it's practical because I have reading week and finals coming up (ie-two weeks of absolute HELL), but I'm almost desperate to be as close to normal as possible. :(