Ahh, the life of a diabetic

Get ready…I’m about to lay a smack down on life. I’m about to get FULL DEBBIE DOWNER, ok?

It’s not freaking fair. It’s not. Yea, ok, there are other people in the world that have it farther off then myself. I can agree to that. but frick I have type 1 diabetes. did I choose this? what this a poor decision i made that caused me to be diagnosed??? NO. for whatever freaking reason, God decided to allow me to overcome this burden, somehow. After 14 years I still haven’t felt like I’ve overcome anything.

I quit my job about 3 weeks ago b/c i was working for a family owned business, Nick’s best friend’s family btw. and my boss was treating me like absolute crap. it’s a whole lot of drama i don’t really have the time to explain right now. long and the short of it, there was a patient being over medicated on narcotics and i TRIED fighting for her, on behalf of her husband who was telling me all about it. AND THEN, OUT OF NOWHERE, my boss decided to accuse me of not giving our patients their “poop” meds b/c I “don’t like cleaning up poop.” b/c it’s easy to not give them poop meds so they don’t poop, when it is VITAL for them to poop on a regular basis." WHAT THE EFF??? where did that come from?? working for 3 sisters is NOT a good idea, b/c they make up total lies that aren’t true! my boss talked to me like i had never been talked to before, like a child, like an effing 3 year old child and accused me of BULL corn. i asked, VERY POLITELY if we could talk about it, (b/c we were over the phone) and she said, “no, i’m bussssssy!” and then i told her that she will not be seeing me in the morning.

so i hung up the phone and called nick, a million times, but he was at work and wasn’t able to answer his phone. i balled like a baby to sharon. i felt so attacked, for no effing reason. i gave the patients their poop med EVERY SINGLE DAY, DUH!!! it was my job! i’m not some effing slacker ■■■ dumb ■■■■ who would rather let the patients fill up with poop and die, then not pick it up! BULL CORN! it was my job to clean up these patients, I NEVER ONCE complained about it! and i have no idea where the HELL she got the idea that i didn’t do it.

and so here i am. EFFED. yea, i have type one diabetes. this means that my pancreas does not produce ANY FREAKING INSULIN. therefore, i have to buy man-made insulin from the pharmacy. with my insurance with kaiser @ the adult care home I was only paying $10.00 per RX. that’s AMAZING. i’m on quite a few meds, but the MOST important one is my insulin. And guess how much it costs out of pocket, for one month supply.???


It’s not fair. i shouldn’t have to eek my way through life, and or DIE b/c i can’t afford insulin.

my boss had indicated on my last paycheck that my coverage was good thru the end of this month…September. NOPE! i called kaiser and they said my coverage expired at the end of august. WTF!!! i hate my old boss, she has a hell of a lot of apologizing to do before i ever forgive her. i swear, even if she’s nick’s best friend’s mom, she’s a ■■■■■.

I’m skrewed. nick and i don’t have any money. like NONE. “why didn’t you stick it out working at the home if you knew you were gonna be out of insurance?” b/c i REFUSE to be treated like a piece of crap when i am a diamond compared to the other caregivers, aka my bosses sisters.

i don’t know what i’m gonna do. not eat? not eat charbs b/c not eating = not having to give extra insulin. ask mom and dad for help, yea that’s cool. i’m married and have to ask mommy and daddy for help…again. the job market SUCKS my ■■■ right now. I have applied for like 20 jobs and have been rejected from about 70% of them, by mail or email. i don’t get it. maybe nick and i need to move back to socal. i’ll work at the teachers credit union that i LOVED. but no. i don’t want to live in OC. it sucks. i mean, friends and family, in n out, pick up stix, flame broiler, the beach doesn’t SUCK…but traffic, the whole “oc” thing bugs so bad! and i love it up here in portland, i do. but why has it been so freaking difficult?? i don’t get it. i DON’T get it.

ok, i think i’m done with my rant.

I’m normally not an angry person, but it feels a lot better getting these things off my chest. =)

Hope you feel better. It isn’t fair. My insurance will pay really well for generic or formulary drugs. Funny, there is no generic insulin. If I used what they wanted for insulin it would be like stepping down to a lesser product. WTF?
Anyway, I’m interviewing for a job tomorrow. I’m thinking of letting them know that what I want with my new job is to be treated respectfully. Nobody needs to deal with that kind of stress. Please use the foodbank if you need to. That is what they are there for. Sorry the job market is so bad there. And good for you for venting! It is good for you!
Wishing you the best,