Missy, you matter. More importantly, you are not alone. First and foremost, you need to take care of yourself. You can’t put your family first if you are unwell. It can be hard to stay motivated when you are depressed. I’ve been there, too. You seem to be a little ambivalent about the implant. I’ve known deaf folk who have declined the implant. What do you want to do about it? Without anyone pressuring you, when you are alone and thinking about it in the quiet, how do you feel about it? When you are blue and having a low, it can be really terrifying. I had some lows that left me with PTSD. Is there anyone outside of your family that you feel you can talk to and just vent? Can your endo hook you up with a good therapist? Disappearing isn’t the answer. From what I can see, taking yourself out of the picture would bring sadness and loss to way too many folks. Things will get better. Your head is spinning and you’re unsure about what to do next. You may not realize it, but you are stronger than you think. You manage your diabetes. Let’s face it, it’s a job of work. Is there anyone here that you are close to that you might want to call and talk to when you’re feeling overwhelmed? Diabetics and the people who love and care for them are a special kind of family. Because of diabetes, we have become a tribe in effect. You are not alone in this and you can turn to this community. What else are we good for? Be well, Missy, and don’t do anything permanent to solve what may very well be a temporary situation.
