Hi Missy
hugs hugs hugs
How hard it must be to be in the middle like that. I can’t relate to that but as you know I can relate to your D and your hearing problems. I have lost half of my hearing in both ears so I know what it is like to be challenged in that area. The cochlear implant thing which I have seen several documentaries and read articles about looks scarey too me (the procedure I mean) but for some people it change their lives. I know there is this whole debate in the deaf community about it - some are against it because they feel there is nothing wrong with wanting to stay deaf etc - which is a good arguement. I guess it is up to you - do you want to hear? Sounds like you were able to hear at one time in one ear. Do you miss it? For me, if I ever went totally deaf, it if made my life easier I would probably do it. Although on the flip side I like leaving out my hearing aids because sometimes I don’t want to hear all the extra noise - it is an excellent way to get some quiet time. But being challenged in that way - it can create barriers in your life such as type of jobs you can’t get or do, certain things you can’t participate it (at least not fully). It is a big decision for you. Are you able to get it done? I thought you didn’t have any insurance.
Do you belong to any of the deaf groups in the city? Maybe it is best for you to talk to someone who was previously deaf but had it done. Also look into the complications. When I get all bogged down because I can’t make a decision (and I can be very indecisive about some things!), I start to get depressed. The pressure of making the decision can drive you crazy. Don’t let it. There is no rush. Do your research. Make out your pros and cons list to the implant and take your time to make your decision. Take care of your D and your other problems while you sort it out.
And yes you will be missed if you go…I am glad you are here. Really. And won’t John miss you? I wish I could find a guy that seems to be as supportive as he is. He even joined this forum to help you out! 
So don’t forget all the good things you have. You had that 90 BG yesterday and you should be happy about that.
Families can be a pain sometimes - don’t let it get to you. Take your time to make your decision and I know you will make the right one. We are all here to give you advice and to listen.