Always the same story, the come back of the black hours

September, the come back of dark hours, always the same story. In june I was so happy with my A1C at 7% for the first time. I was feeling so good. And today the new number : 7,4%. And I’m sad. Is there a reason for this bad number? Yes, in mid August, I lived under pressure and it’s not so good for my diabetes. And I got lows and highs. Sometimes I really don’t like to be what I am, a diabetic, a type 1 with so much complications and such a great desire to live.

And with that bad number, who am I to try to help others diabetics? Yes, this year, the 5th of November, there will be a conference about Type 2 with an endo who said yes to my idea. It will be a free conference for the World Diabetes Day, the 14th November (but we made it the 5th November because the place is free this evening, thank you so much Mr Philip, Mayor of the third arrondissement of Lyon). And I hope to speak about our great community.
Who am I to take the place of Ambassador for France of TuDiabetes? I can't control my type 1.
I know that tomorrow will be another day and I can't stop smiling, and I will try again and again to keep my blood sugar low but not too much. And I know that diabetes (a very bad thing) is a work of 24/24 hours and for ever. But sometimes may I say I have enough? It's like to be on a road and never turn left or right and after all these long years I can tell it's hard.
It was a good thing to write all these words, it will help me to throw away the black hours.

Brigitte, you were one of my first friends when I joined TuDiabetes a few years ago. I’m sorry your a1c is up. I’m glad you’re here with us, we are all struggling together. I’m glad you have shared your struggles. If all our ambassadors had perfect numbers, it would not be a real community here, it would feel fake. I’ve been type 1 a long time, like you, and I know how hard it is. Instead of getting easier to deal with, sometimes I think the longer you have it, the harder it gets to deal with. and thanks for getting the mayor to light up Lyon every year. It’s such a beautiful city. I still remember a lunch I had there in 1977. hugs!

I was right there with you earlier today. Today my A1C came back at 7 (which some people would love) but I’m usually sitting around 6.2 or 6.0. So for me, this is frustrating. I had my pitty party for a half hour (happens about two or three times a year) and then decided to stop feeling sorry for myself. Life could be worse, diabetes is managable and I will manage it. I will control it and it won’t control me. I have 2 great kids, a great husband and an awesome job. So, although I hate diabetes, I cannot make it go away so I just need to deal with it and allow myself to have my black hours once in a while. I am glad other people have their dark hours also and that you post about it. Nondiabetics, although they feel bad, typically do not understand the frustrations. They try and say the right things but sometimes it falls on deaf ears because I do not really feel like they are empathetic as they have not walked the path of diabetic. To summarize my long rant, I completely understand the feelings, this disease is a frustrating one! Keep working it at it, you will succeed!

Thank you ! yes I’m agree with you mkampmann. And I know we are all in the same boat! There are so many real experiences here Marie B! And, yes Nondiabetics can’t feel the same frustrations. A few hours after writing these words, my dark hours are away from me… in 3 months I really hope to have a good number. Before my heart attack , I never got those dark hours because it was not important to have a good A1c, I was feeling so good… And I repeat one more time : our community is one of the most important thing in our diabetes world. hugs!

I agree with MarieB - if you didn’t struggle, you wouldn’t be a true ambassador. You’re one of us, Brigitte, with all the sorrows and joys, like it or not! I echo the virtual hug! :slight_smile:

I think your blog shows very positive sides of you:

  • you are not giving up
  • you already know what went wrong
  • you are working on improvements

So please do not take the A1c as an indicator of your qualities. The lab result is often not very accurate. It is like measuring a BG of 260mg/dl and then you measure again and it is 230mg/dl. In these situations I will often stick to the lower number - although it might be wrong. So we all are sometimes confronted with results that are not exactly as we like them to be. I wish you better days to come.


Mon Amie,
Who are you to be the French Ambassador for the Diabetes Hands Foundation? You are a person touched by diabetes which means you will have highs and you will have lows. Having ups and downs is no reason to be so tough on yourself. We all have high numbers on occasion. The important thing is to look back, see what happened, learn or relearn from it and keep going. It’s (as you know) day-at-a-time task and you will be able to get back on track.

Just to remind you of this, I brought my friend the optimistic hamster. :slight_smile:

Gros câlin! (big hug in French?) ;)