Answers soon, i hope


i’m feeling very nervous all over again. this time it’s not school-related.

see, this wednesday, i’m off to the endo’s again to collect and discuss my blood test results. i got sent for a c-peptide test, lipids panel, and a urine test. part of a regular diabetes annual check up, i guess. i think it’s weird that she did not send me for an anti-body test though. i’m now thinking of requesting one just to make sure she diagnoses me properly. but then again, the antibodies may not turn up.

all these random thoughts are running through my mind like a reckless bullet train; i am that nervous.

i’ve thought of all the possible scenarios (because i am a freak like that), like what i will say and ask should she tell me i have type 1 diabetes or type 2 diabetes.

what kind of insulin regime would i be under in the case that i have type 1? if i’m a type 2, then would i take insulin AND metformin together? what changes would i make to my diet? could you arrange for me to have another chat with the diabetes nurse?

i think part of me is reluctant to get the news, never mind the fact that i know it will be good for my overall-well being. part of me thinks that being on this current regime is fine and change is unnecessary. but the other part of me says that finding out exactly what my body is going through is going to be a good thing for me because then i will know how to take care of myself even better and gain better control over this.

part of me wishes to be type 1, because then i can’t blame anything for my diabetes because i know my former lifestyle was unhealthy and that could’ve brought it on. part of me wishes to be type 2 because then i might not have to poke myself so much.

my numbers lately have been alright. about a month ago they were between 4-5mmol usually, now they measure in at around 4-6mmol. that’s slightly higher. could that be a sign of insulin resistance?

all of me is in this horrid confusion and i can only hope that after my endo visit, i don’t slip into denial or depression. right now, i’ve regressed into a scared little girl again and i don’t know how to calm myself down.

better get some sleep anyway, i’ve got an early class tomorrow which i can’t miss. toodles.



NO one gets type 2 because of unhealthy habits. If they did, we’d have 90% of the population with Type 2. Only 1/10 of the obese get Type 2, most likely because the underlying condition CAUSES diabetes.

If anyone ever works that blame thing on you NAIL 'EM. It’s just not true.

You have to hope that your diabetes is the kind that means you still have living functional beta cells left, because that kind is so much easier to control. That might be LADA or MODY or a form called “Type 2” because they haven’t figured out the actual genetic reason for it. And because your blood sugars of 4-6 mmol are so low most doctors consider them a non-issue, you’ll have to make sure you stay on top of them and do what it takes to keep them normal.

So many doctors I’ve encountered pretty much wait until after people have terrible blood sugars and complications BEFORE starting any aggressive treatment for them, which is a shame since complications CAN be prevented by early diagnosis and aggressive blood sugar control.

I’m cheering for you from the sidelines as you go to your appointment!


I know this is really easy to say, but don’t worry so much. You’re diabetic. This is a given. Whether it’s this or that, one or the other, whatever will be will be. Worrying any more or less won’t change things, so you may as well take the least stressful route. Then when your doc lets you know what’s up, grab it by the (self-censored) and nail it to the wall. Hope everything turns out ok for you.