Appointment with the family physicians again

I had another appointment today; with the family physicians group I initially saw after being in the emergency room in February.

It went extremely well. They took almost two hours with me! I told them that I didn't think the endo office was a good fit for me. They probed a little as to why I didn't want to go back, and I told them that I didn't want to bad mouth people- but that there was a bit of personality conflict, and later mentioned that it felt as though that office herds people through like cattle.

I asked if they could handle the pump training for me- and the CDE said she wasn't set up to do that, but that the reps could and she would be happy to set me up with them. She also told me why I would want to go to the endo office for the training with the pump nurse there, but that it was up to me and she just wanted me to get the best care possible.

Both the GP and the CDE agreed that I am a really good candidate- which is nice. They said I have done awesome with my numbers. I did let them know that I didn't want to do it right now, but would like to once I have changed insurances.. and that happens in May.

I also mentioned that there was some concern at the endo with me 'burning out from testing too much' but that I'm pretty sure I won't, because that's what I feel like I need to do right now. They told me that it's fine and if I need a prescription for more strips, to let them know. The GP told me that I'm going to have this for a long time, the complications can be serious, and that it's good to be so diligent about checking. They said they wished more of their patients would at the very least check 4 times a day!

My CDE told me to e-mail her with any questions I have, and that if I find any papers or articles to send them her way. I said I didn't want to be bothering her all the time, but she said that she loves challenges and learning more.

Yes, I was just diagnosed about 6 weeks ago. I am glad I have medical knowledge (though it was obtained regarding four legged critters). And yeah, I'm rabidly intense about learning as much as possible.. Part of it is feeling guilty and realizing how stupid I was not to go to the doctor sooner. I could have died because of that stupidity. I KNEW better! And my parents already lost one daughter; how cruel it would have been to lose another. While I know that I owe it to myself to get a grip on this, I also feel that I owe it to my family and friends.

My goal on TuD isn't to be difficult, though I realize I may come off that way sometimes. I just have to know as much as possible from reading to make up for the one thing I don't have: experience dealing with diabetes on a completely personal level.

I appreciate the thoughts and suggestions. I may be a young whippersnapper in diabetes years, but I can and will kick it in the proverbial rear.

Hey palominovet, I think your attitude and determination are fantastic! I'm much the same, myself. I thrive on information. There's a lot to learn. This isn't a simple disease, at all. I'm not the kind of person who feels comfortable letting others make choices and decisions for me. The only one who can make a lasting difference to my health is me.

Don't waste a lot of time on feeling guilty, though. It doesn't help! You were diagnosed when you were diagnosed, period. Hindsight will only make you feel crazy. What matters now is that you are doing everything you can do to be and stay healthy.

Thank you, Ann! We sound a lot alike.

I will try to just focus on the future and not feel so guilty from now on, but it still comes back occasionally.