I was doing real good for the longest time. Got my weight down from 230 to 173. Was happy. Then weight started back. A pound here and there. Got up to mid to hight 170’s. Then crept up to the 180’s. Low then mid then high. Now low 190’s. At first thought with the 170’s and low 180’s it was body searching for a happy spot to be in. Then noticed from where I had been on a very, very tight control of the amount of food I was eating I had gotten to that “I don’t care. I’m hungry”. So when wife started asking if I wanted this or that instead of saying no I started saying yes. She liked that. Thought she was making happy. Now I’m back into taking control of self and telling her no. I’m fluxing between high 180 and low 190. Mostly going downwards again.
She’s starting to be more helpful in the amount I eat again also. She’s seen on her Korean Doctors shows where they mentioned how diabetics are more susceptible to strokes, heart attacks, kidney issues etc. It dawned on her what I’ve been trying to tell about how it’s not just a word but that it actually goes after everything it can if it’s able to. She’s wised up in this now. Sometimes I get upset with some of the stuff she hears on the shows and tries to push off on me but then there’s times that I glad she watched like the bit on what diabetes actually does to a body if we do not try our best to gain and maintain. Total ■■■■■ of a thing I know. But we do it. We struggle. We fall out of that damn car and get up, dust our rearends off and crawl right back behind the steering wheel with our medical staff as our map readers. Had one doctor tell me that they’re there to help and guide but it’s up to us to actually do what must be done. And he was and is right. We have to be the ones to take it upon ourselves. One of my sisters is diabetic also. She’s let herself go so bad I don’t even want to go there. She don’t listen to anyone that tries to help. But that’s another story as they say.
I’m just saying I fell out of that damn care and am now back behind that steering wheel again. How long I can stay behind it this time I don’t know. I don’t make any promises. Only promise I make is to do the best I can to get back in control of myself and to keep dusting my backside off as I crawl back behind that wheel each and every time I happen to fall out.