I’m thinking about going back on shots for awhile… :\
When i went to camp, i took a break from my pump. While both options have their pro’s and con’s i dont know if i should take a break, but not for too long.
My mom thinks that i wont keep my log book and that i’ll forget to take my shots, and my control will get even worse. Which bugs me, because she acts like i didnt do it before for about 8 months.
She thinks that just because my sugars have been worse for the past almost year, which is because i came out of the honeymoon phase and it became alot more difficult, that i’ll not be able to take care of myself on shots and form complications.
Just because i forget to bolus sometimes doesnt mean i’m going to do the same thing with shots. I mean, Maybe, because everyone does.
I know she trys to understand what its like as best as she can, and i hate saying it, but she really doesnt understand. Obviously.
The reason i want off my pump for awhile, is so that i dont have to worry about sleeping with it, where to put it when i get dressed, to avoid site changes and sites being ripped out, and just the awkward stares of people. I’m afraid to go on shots though because even though i’ll get the ability to be more secretive, i have to prove to my mom that i can go back on them. And i know i’ll mess up, or forget, but i dont know. I absolutley hate log books, and carrying around so much stuff for the pens and stuff. But i’m so fed up with the tubing and having it be so obvious to people.
When i was first diagnosed, i didnt care if people wondered about the pump, or if they knew i had diabetes. I was so excited to get a pump. And it was okay in middle school, because everyone in my class knew. But going into highschool, i have three whole grades ahead of me that stare and whisper about my pump, or when i have to test my sugar. Telling people makes me feel like that when they know, they are just going to feel sorry for me. I just honestly want to be normal, and fit in. I go to my endo on the 28th and i’m telling him that i’m getting the OmniPod.
I was at the zoo the other day, with my boyfriend (who is also diabetic :D) and his family, and one of the new girls who i volunteer there with, says “Why is Carly walking around with that boy?” “Which Carly?” “The diabetic one.”
That realllyyyy ticked me off. My friend who i volunteer with is also diabetic, and i guess these girls were talking about how we were diabetic. And referred to us as the “diabetic ones”
I’m just really starting to feel the reality of this never going away. I’m starting to get nervous about getting a job and having to deal with this, dating and having to deal with it, and college especially. Idk, I just really want the OmniPod. Maybe a sensor, but i’m just dead set on the pod. So any advice? Lol.