Can we talk about work?

Moving out of town is a big step but is something a lot of people do with no problem. I would say before you do it you should take a long look at yourself.

Are you someone that depends heavily on friends and family as part of your emotional support group. There’s nothing wrong with that, I am a loner type but sometimes I wish I was more dependent on others. We all need some kind of emotional support from others. If you are willing to move away from yours you need to have a plan to replace your support group.

How does someone gain the type of supportive friends that you now have. Answer that question and the decision to move will be a lot less troubling to you.

If I’m honest. I’m very self sufficient. I’ve had virtually no contact with anyone for a year. However, it scares me a lot to move out of town.

I’ve spent so many years nurturing relationships in this town. If I end up in the hospital, there’s a solid chance that I will recognize staff and that they recognize me. It makes me feel really safe to know that I have done a lot of favors for people here. If I get low blood sugar on the street, people know that I’m a diabetic and are very likely to know me and like me because I have done something good for them or someone they know in the past.

I have a strange diabetic fear about not having good medical karma in a new town. I’m a lot safer here than I ever would be in Chicago. Good karma and reputation also give you power over powerful men who behave exploitatively…I’m finding lots of those in software. There’s a really ugly power dynamic in software because of how competitive it is. Established people have a lot of power and new people have nothing. It freaks me out. I’ve seen some really ugly business happen to newly employed grad student.

Maybe I’m just scared shitless. But, I’ll keep playing the field. I wont give up.

The Midwest also enforces societal norms better than other places. Reputation is important here. If your a dirt bag, people know it. That provides some safety. Someone will just kick your ■■■ if your too far over the line.

When my brother went to CA, he had to fist fight a few people on the street for being such big douche bags. I wouldn’t survive there. He said it was a cultural nightmare there for him. Lots of people say that. I know I wouldn’t make it.

Here, where there’s something really bad happening to someone else, people tend to act. We just look at the strangers around us and someone says, “Don’t worry, I’m from the East side and jumps in to take care of business.” Were Nordic. Women will physically help in an emergency if there aren’t any men to help.

I want you to do the best for you so I am offering questions for you to consider.

This was the gist of my last post, what would it take to build those relationships somewhere else. It will make your job search much easier if you can see a way, if not thats OK you will have made a wise choice to stay within your comfort zone.

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I might be being too risk adverse. Its useful for me to think about what you guys are saying. Your from all over the country. I trust all of your judgment. Its helpful for me to consider if my perspectives are valid.

Probably a lot of what I have done in my life comes from trying to mitigate risk because of fear. Some of that might be overblown.

LOL you haven’t spent a lot of time in the south.

There is no truly safe place, there is only the places we know. You know how to be safe in the place that you know. Nothing wrong with that.

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Sometime I’ll tell you all the trouble I’ve gotten into in the South, Gary. If I ever move there, I will consult with you first about how not to get arrested by the cops or held at gunpoint by the citizens. I have gone to a couple job interviews in the South and I always bring a weapon in my purse I’m so scared, LOL. :sweat_smile:

Huge possible break throughs on the job front this week - 1 in Chicago and 2 local. If anyone makes an offer I’ll take it. I’ve have over 4,000 rejections to date.

After our discussion, I think I would be OK out of town. I just need to temper my behavior a little to account for increased risk. No helping out in fights involving crow bars. No starting trouble with large corporations. No fleeing from ambulance or hospital staff or cops. I’m making a list in my head. I’ll be fine as long as I’m on my best behavior. Out of towners will not let me take the same liberties I take here…so it is a little bit like becoming more disabled, but just for a period of time until I get some experience and get back home.

I absolutely can’t pull anything like this. I’m not 100% sure that I have total control over my compulsions to escape from medical staff. :grimacing: Here, I can figure out where I am and who will help me if I escape from them with less than adequate brain function. In Chicago, it could be quite dangerous. I have a habit of running for bodies of water in order to swim away from them. I do it pretty successfully, but its quite dangerous if you don’t know instinctively where the dams are.

I think its difficult to be medically compromised when you don’t recognize your surroundings. It happened once in Santa Fe and it was like a bad acid trip. I ate some fruit off of some trees (which was a good thing about being in the South). Then, I got hot and sat down at a table (which was in a quiet mexican restaurant). The waitress brought me some appetizer chips. I ate them and then ran away. But, eventually, all was lost and I just sat down on a sidewalk and started to cry.

I pump ALOT of adrenaline with low BG and I can go for miles sometimes. I’ve climbed over razor wire fences before when I wasn’t thinking straight. It can get bad.

Remember when I crashed that car? I was 100% blind and I still made a run for it. They sent 12 cop cars and I still made a run for it. I don’t think I can really control that.

I guess the key is to have really good BG control and be super vigilant about it and not do anything too physically extreme.

That’s why I ski with large guys from Detroit and Russians - worst comes to worst, they know how to defend themselves…from me.

I think there’s a downside to being the type who doesn’t pass out. There’s an obvious good side. The bad side is that you can really tear things up. Its often better if people just pass out. If I pass out, then there’s definitely a seizure involved, its not just low BG.

Its been a week since I last heard from my friend who moved away. How do we know if he is even alive or dead? This is the trouble with moving away…

I’ve had some bad insulin reactions in my lifetime but never like that. I get cranky and confused and I’ve fallen down a few times. But I usually know that I need sugar. I tend to try to play it off though. Pretending I’m ok.

Well of course it’s been years since I’ve had one bad enough to cause confusion because I have cgm and I get warnings before it goes low. Sill I remember it.

I really hate the feeling of low

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I hate the feeling of high BG.

I’m not quite sure where I’m physically at after covid lockdown. I notice a lot of other people aren’t at all as physically strong as they used to be. I expect some mess trying to push back to where I used to be. I will need to be careful.

I guess that I start small, just doing normal things getting out into the community again and then build up to challenging physical activity’s. I’ll try to figure out where the boundaries are without stepping over them into critical failure.

It will decrease risk to run a little higher, I guess.

Its fine. I walked 6 miles yesterday and moved a brick. No problems except lack of confidence…and a ton of sensor error.

Its the old people that really got hit with deteriorating health from covid lockdown. I’ll get the old people out to the YMCA this week.

I notice that in 2 years everyone gets older. I’ve kept pretty active all along so it’s all good. I mean I’m more one to just go and deal with the consequences.

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Crap. The college has ended all programming classes. That’s a real bad sign. They do that when there are absolutely no jobs. Its an ethical thing that they do to prevent sending students into a black abyss of a job market. It spells trouble in no uncertain terms.

@mohe0001 - Took a look at your LinkedIn profile. You really cleaned it up. Curious, is LinkedIn working for you at all?

I think its the same as its always been. I dunno. I’ve done some things and thus added to it a bit here and there. I think it works. I’ve been interviewing three times a week (approximately) for a year.

Fundamentally, there aren’t any jobs for me here. I hear the same thing every time - they want someone with experience. Everybody hears that and can’t get in - police, EMTs, programmers. Although, I assume public safety got their big break during covid. The market has been like that my whole life. I’m experimenting a bit, though.

A recently retired engineer told me yesterday to go on down to where he used to work, walk in the door, and ask for an informational interview if the whole “online thing” isn’t working.

Someone else suggested getting in at the very bottom - for a position requiring only a HS degree because junior dev positions will open up in several months.

My dad told me that he got his 1st job by writing to people who had published and saying, “I read your paper. It was fascinating. Do you have any open positions? I would love to work for you.”

Everyone in town is trying to help. We are all getting more creative with our strategy.

It might be a problem that company’s aren’t willing to invest in their talent. They are used to buying people up from overseas (who say they come with experience in a specific tech stack, although I go to school with those guys and they are full of it a lot). Companies are unwilling to build the people they need.

Part of that is because everyone job hops and if they invest in new talent, they will simply jump ship in 6 months, so its all for not.

I took my terminal leave starting in March 1, 2020 and resigned my appointment as a professor effective January 1, 2021. As ridiculous as it is (I haven’t been able to actually do my job effectively since Fall of 2019), and even though the writing was on the wall, it’s one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

Now… the state is trying to assess whether I can do any job. They have determined that yes, I can not profess or research effectively, but maybe I can sling burgers at McDs? That seems unlikely as well, but the state has set up an appointment with a neurologist (of their choice) to make sure I’m not lying (along with a ton of doctors and hospitals).

So, anyways, later this year I’ll either be on SSDI or be working minimum wage in the back of a diner and trying not to die while working. Should be fun.


I am disabled (now) because of neurological issues, not because of my diabetes. Although my diabetes ain’t playing nice with the neurological issues of late, so it all sort of blends together… The US disability “system” is, in my opinion, purposely difficult to navigate and designed to punish those of us “too lazy” to work.

Also, I do look forward to finding a way to work from home or do something productive once I figure out how to live in a body that no longer works the way I’m used to it doing. Whether it be volunteering or writing from home, and even if I live only another 10 years, I can’t imagine just sitting here… doing. nothing…

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I think SSDI is primarily to cover people who lost work in the coal mines. Its less intended for people with legitimate disability and more a substitute for long term unemployment, fundamentally. Its also a place they put people who do not have a high enough IQ to work, but aren’t technically intellectually disabled (which is actually a substantial portion of the population). SSDI is not going to be much money at all. You will prob need a lawyer to get it.

Let me say something positive about starting all over at the bottom - McD’s is not the ‘go to.’ There are jobs that are relatively high paying at entry level. There were years where you couldn’t even get a McD job. Now, I convince all these young men working at the gas station that they need to be applying to actual paying jobs. They do and they leave for better jobs. The trick for you will be finding something that is physically a good fit and a little interesting to you.

Can I ask about the nature of your neurological impairment? Its OK if you don’t want to say. I have some neuro things going on too, but they are not bad lately.

Could you be a legal secretary? That might start around $50,000. Sometimes there are remote work options that might help accommodate your disability. I think that can be kinda interesting work because you find out everybody’s business in the whole city. You have worked with people a lot, so you would be a crafty, lethal admin assistant working in a disability law office. No one ever suspects the secretaries know anything, but they know everything. They are like secret spy ninjas.

I think this is an interesting story about how disability works.

I think we are miscommunicating haha. I am dying of a neurological issue that means I can’t even stand up (or sit down, for that matter) longer than about 15 minutes without my muscles locking. I have difficulty breathing, swallowing, etc. and will be in a motorized wheelchair soon(ish).

SSDI is definitely the federal system in the US for people like me that can’t work at all: it basically starts giving me full Social Security benefits (and access to medicaid/medicare) even though I’m twenty years too early. The funny part is that it is administered through the state disability determination systems. So… the Feds have determined I am (obviously) not able to work, now the state has to examine me in person to determine whether I can do any job, etc.

Anyhow, I was mostly joking about trying to force a crippled guy to stand in the back of McD’s washing dishes for 40 hours a week. Typical American dystopia, of late haha… I will almost certainly be put on SSDI and Medicare within a week of my appointment with the state. I’m a mess (physically and mentally as well); motor neuron disorders are no joke.

I’m mostly just trying to see out my years left as the best dad, husband, and weird disabled guy I can. Hopefully not in some restaurant as a dishwasher. Not because I’m too good for it (I’m not, and have done far worse jobs lol), but because I think it would literally kill me.

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Your gonna be a great weird disabled guy, David49. I’m glad you don’t anticipate needing to fight for disability status. I can’t wait to read your writing. Please post when you get something going. Dostoevsky was an epileptic. Although that’s not as bad as your condition, maybe his writing won’t hold a candle to yours. I’ve always had a fondness for Dostoevsky. His illness made him understand a lot about the world, I think.

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