Can you hear the helicopters? I'm in new york


It saddens me to see that it is accepted for people to be overweight. That it is the norm. I have the feeling it is mainly due to what is called “emotional eating”. It is such a horrible epidemic, and it doesn’t look like the end is in sight, this morning I saw a billboard on the interstate for a DOUBLE Big Mac…do you really need to eat that? I mean I understand you are hungry…but that is obscene. It’s all about upsizing, supersizing, make it bigger, faster, more obscene… I keep reading about these fake cures for Diabetes and it makes me sick these people are cashing in so much on our misfortune. Granted, I am just like you, looking for instant gratification, especially from Diabetes, because I, like you, wake up and want to scream that this is not fair, not me etc etc. I have even wished people who just clearly do not understand the disease or what I go through to actually have it at least for one day, so they can see how it is for just that day. Then maybe they would be more sympathetic and perhaps cherish every day thereafter. You think I’m horrible…I understand…but I’m sure somewhere you understand too. I went to sleep w/ my bs 170 and dropping, I ate some fruit, woke up with it 102…but it feels so low…I get so confused…plus when you wake up on Ambien, you feel like you’re on acid, hallucinations and all.So I sleep walk and eat a little debbie…oops…I don’t know what it is now and I don’t care. I take my bloodsugar way too much…and why does the insurance companies only pay for 100? Hmm let’s do some math here…If you are supposed to check your bloodsugar 4 times a day…and typically there are 30 days or so in a month…
30 x 4= 120 days…idiots. I had to put in a request to have 200 a month we’ll see if it goes through. Although I have a theory with the panic disorder, it’s a way to calm my nerves. I try to explain it to healthy people…but it doesn’t really make sense to them…“What if you had a machine that you could check to make sure you were normal?” -“huh?”…“nevermind” I lost my mom to a heart attack 11/26/2004…she was Diabetic…but also had CVID which was a horrible immune disorder and blood clots and osteoperosis etc etc…she was 41. Anyway, now I’m reading about Avandia that can cause heart problems. Is there a connection? We will never know because an autopsy was not done. Weird you say? That’s exactly what I said. Anyway. waffles. sugar free syrup. New dance music. It will be a good day I think, of course I never know with my pancreas turning on itself.