Confused, who is right?

I am kinda confused, I am told to control diabetes with diet and the pills I am taking and exercises by my doctor and am told by parents that it doesn’t matter what I eat or do that it won’t make a difference so I should just get more medication to control it. The issue comes up because I can’t eat bread without going above 10.0 (180) 2 hours after I eat it. I am getting help from dietitian for that. But who is right? Do I medicate more and more instead of changing everything? Do you medicate to eat or do whatever you want?

I also said good bye to my endocrinologist last week. Not for good, but will see her if my family Dr says to. I can also call her anytime she said. Is that bad management of my diabetes or do I stop listening to my family when they tell me that? hb

I think, while our families and loved ones mean well because they don’t like to see the lengths by which we have to restrict ourselves sometimes, that they are wrong. We CANNOT eat whatever we want, and just medicate to deal with it. There are so many awful complications that can arise from that, not to mention that the pancreas is not the only organ in the body that needs to deal with glucose – the liver, the kidneys, the eyes, and the heart, are always needing to deal with glucose, and process it, and it puts a huge amount of stress on your organs. If you can’t eat bread, DON’T eat bread. Try low carb bread instead… Eating low carb is generally the BEST alternative for those of us who just can’t handle those huge amounts of carbohydrates – regardless of the medication we take! Learning to count carbs, and figuring out what portions are best for you is your BEST tool. Not covering up for all of it with medication. My dad always did this, as it was what the stupid doctors, dietitian, and American Diabetes Association told him to do, and it took his life… It is YOUR life. Not their lives… They are not the ones who may lose their eye sight, or their legs, one day… And I know, I get very pissy about it… but honestly, people just do not understand the seriousness of this disease, nor do they care to, sometimes! If no one has shared this link with you yet, I really highly recommend reading Blood Glucose 101. It is very well written, by one of our most respected members at TuD, and it helps clarify all the confusion… Even if you are misdiagnosed, and not a Type 2… You still have to watch your carbs. We cannot, NONE of us… Eat whatever the heck we want, and then just over medicate… It’s a recipe for disaster… Not to mention, for those who use insulin, crazy weight gain… and potential insulin resistance development… And the pills, they are just scary… they have so many side effects… You do not want to just risk getting on more meds, just so you can pig out on things… I beg you to seriously think this through, and read through that site.

HB- I don’t know if it is possible but you ought to bring your “chief offenders” with you to your dietitian. I had to bring my husband because he just couldn’t understand that “normal range” of 70-120 is ok- he’s always pushing sweets on me because he’s afraid I’m “too low”. God love the man, but he drives me nuts. Anyway- he needed to hear it from a “professional” to get it to sink in. Good luck, it’s a tough spot to be in, but you are seeing a direct correlation between something you eat, and what it does to your levels. My goal, is to get off as much medication as I can, and have better control with diet and exercise. Medication doesn’t always make things better. Case and point, I have been increasing my insulin for the last 3 years, and literally 20 days ago, I switched medications and am doing MUCH MUCH MUCH less insulin. By that I mean I went from 400 units daily to 40 a day. More medication doesn’t necessarily mean better control.

What we eat and the activities we do always have an effect on our body. Specially for us diabetics.
We vary in terms of our bg reactions to bread. But since bread have carbs…the reaction is to elevate our blood sugar. Try low carb bread, whole wheat bread, low carb multigrain wraps, pita bread.
Medications, for most, are part of diabetes management…but essentially, diet and exercise plays a major part as well.
Our families and love ones care for us…that they ant the best for us. I’m sure they will not mind educating themselves regarding diabetes. On your next dietitian appointment, maybe you can take them with you. I’m sure they will appreciate whatever learning they can have. My husband too was with me during every diabetes class and doctor’s appointment. He was able to best appreciate my needs and is able to support me in my activities.

If your mechanic said you needed new brake pads and your family said "no you don’t, just drive slower’ who are you going to listen to? Same idea.

Your family loves you, but they’re not trained in diabetes management. I think Devon has an excellent idea in bringing your family with you to the dietician so you can ALL learn the facts together.

I, for one, would never take my family’s advice over my doctor’s advice. I would listen to them and ask the doctor about the issues they raise, but I’m not going to favor them over the doctor any more than I would favor them over the car mechanic. (Unless I came from a family of car mechanics.)

So bring the family along so they can hear it from the professional and not only from you.

Good luck,


Listen to your doctor & your body. More meds isn’t the answer. There’s not an unlimited number of meds & doses you can take. Meds aren’t without side-effects either. Diabetes is a disease of self-management. This means changing your diet, in addition to meds & exercise. If it was only as simple as taking pills.

Sorry your family doesn’t understand & that they’re not being supportive. They don’t want to see you being “deprived,” but they don’t understand the consequences of eating whatever you want.

Great suggestion to bring your family along. My husband went with me to my early appointments. Helped tremendously.

If bread sends you to 10.0/180, don’t eat it. Your body & your choice.

I tried taking my mom with me and I kinda told her she had to wait in the waiting room after having her come for the first year of appts. and there were LOTS of them!!! She would give me her input and tell me what to delete in my head regarding what I just learned. I have 1 sister who goes through what I go through but she never told my parents how many appts she has and she boluses for cakes cookies ect… not a good role model for me. She has perfect A1c’s where I have to work HARD to get them. It’s all very confusing. I am working with most of my diabetes Dr.s dietitian, educator ect… all over e-mail and phone appt.s Why, because my family thinks it’s a waste of time, gas and money. I’m trying here. Really I am but am I doing it right?

You know, I think you are doing it right… every diabetic is different. We are all different… and what will work for one person, may not work for another… You have to work with what you can do to achieve control, and what’s right for you… And reach peace with it. Your family kind of needs help in understanding this… Your mom should have gone in the appointment with you. :frowning: They really desperately need this information… and help really understand the seriousness of this disease and how it affects everyone differently. sigh I wish there was as much education about Diabetes as there is about other disease… People just don’t get it. Maybe there are support groups you can take her to? That deal with this issue more, and don’t necessarily involve your personal data being revealed to her? It’s an idea, anyway…

You’re doing things right by working with your team. It’s really hard when your family thinks your health is a waste of time & money because your sister’s approach is different. Often a lot harder without injected insulin to help. Sorry, but your mom telling you what to delete isn’t right.

Along with your appts, do more research on your own. This helped my confidence that I was on the right track & really helped knowing what questions to ask my doctors. Armed with knowledge it’s a lot easier to ignore bad advice.

Check out Jenny’s site & book Also get Dr. Richard Bernstein’s Diabetes Solution.

If you are a diabetic above the age of say 15 +/- YOU not your family are in charge of taking care of yourself, for the most part, in most respects. I do not understand what you mean re: your family telling you that you can or cannot see any doctor?

As for what will make you healthiest… they are both right. Exercise as a strong daily habit will make you much healthier, and feel better. Moderate eating, calculated meal planning builds the habit of ideal healthy eating. Medication will be required to probably help in the short term.

With HARD work, and strong good habits, you may be able in time to reverse your diabetes! Ignore it, or pretned you do not have it, more medications and complications are almost certain.

I am a 5 ft. 3inch, 120lbs. 30 year old who does not drive and still lives at home. I do work outside of home when I can get ride to town.But most of my work is at home. I have to rely on my parents to take me places when I need to. Therefore it doesn’t work to have so many appts. They don’t care to drive and I don’t care to drive 2.5 hours for a 15 min appt. But if I need it I will go. The dietitian screwed up alot for me with my perscriptions and my parents say enough of her. And the diabetes educator was scrapped also for travel reasons and they figured I’d learned enough from her in 2 visits.Therefore she gone to. Will I ever reverse this diabetes, No. That’s what I’ve been told. Once you have it ,you always have it. I have been e-mailing my educator and dietitian with questions and they are o.k with that. I was told the dentist and eye dr. are a waste of time unless I notice a problem(by then is to late). So I am basically down to one dr. for appts now.Thankfully he gives me all the time I need with him. I am trying my best to do things right but it’s hard. And no I’mnot letting my parents into my appt.s. That is just not gonna happen. I go silent while they answer the questions and change my answers right in front of me. Not gonna happen. I just needed to know who was right.Who do I listen to. Thank you. hb

Well, is there a way for you to purchase a vehicle, since you work, and take care of your own appointments? I realize getting your own place might be pricey, right now (and I certainly would try to move out), but surely you should try to get some transportation… I mean, you ARE a grown person, 30 yrs old, and no one’s parents should be ruling their life/health/decisions at that age…

hb …regardless of who told you : " dentist and eye doctor " are a waste of time to visit …are you sure you heard this correctly ?? …PWD are prone to eye problems and dental problems …you may want to follow up .!! Dietitians in Manitoba write prescriptions ??? …I am very confused with your detailed response …bear with me, please .

Yeah I heard correctly and I’ve heard correctly for 20 plus years. I wear glasses like the other 5 members of the family. I am the only one who will go see the dr. before anything happens. My perscription has changed 2x in the past 10 years. So I have been going for appts. there every 2 years which I am told is ridiculous because the rest go when they need new glasses.Which is every 5-6 years. I went to the dentist 2x before the age of 10 and then I didn’t need anything done. But add another 14years and I had 2 dead teeth and 6 cavaties and my wisdom teeth came in sideways, so I have been going to the dentist every year to keep anymore problems from happening. They don’t go often so they think I don’t need to go. I’m trying to take care of myself. No, dietitians don’t write perscriptions, they just write letters to my dr. and suggest upping the dosage and then write double the dosage that we talked about in the letter and then I get wrong percriptions from my dr. Make sense?

Very important to see an eye doctor once a year & a dentist twice a year. Who told you this wasn’t necessary?

I live in a small rural town (in the US) with no public transportation. There are services to assist getting people to doctor’s appts at no cost. You might want to investigate if there’s something like this where you live. Calling social service agencies is a good place to start because they know of resources. Churches often have volunteers to help also.

hb…are you and your family aware …you can claim " travel /mileage credits on your Federal/Provincial tax forms for appointments of over 40 k from home , due April 30 th of every year ??

Hello hb:

The basic problem is “distance” then on many different levels! Parents way too close! The doctors too far away! You do not drive…

In some ways you sound like a literal prisoner. Experts whether diabetes, dentist, eye all doctors are going to be horribly busy. The reason some people see them is clearly after the fact, “whats hapening to me doctor”. But seen for maintence can easily prevent problems too.

Mom and Dad have no business in the exam room, UNLESS you ask them to be! Wanna borrow my file, we’ll break you free of their “chains” .

Aside from your parents, what are you having real troubles with diabetes wise?

I have talked to them last week. They even think maybe they will help me get license. I am in need of more work here to.So that helped them decide to. I have gotten driving lessons from my boss, who was neighbor. I loved it. I have handicapped siblings so it makes it harder for me to leave as I am needed to help when parents need to go out. As fora appts. they will have to be put on hold till I can afford them now. Life is rough but I can do it.

I admire all you’re doing to get past your parents’ needs and how you’re working to get your diabetes taken care of.
Sometimes a person with type 2 diabetes can’t eat certain things without spiking. Being at 180 at 2 hours after eating is too high. A dietitian may recognize need to consider insulin. And a doctor, too, will suggest insulin if the diet does not keep you in the right range. Do read Blood Sugar 101 - a lot is online. Test after meals and email them to your doctor. Our good wishes to you!

Hello HB:

Your handicapped siblings will always be there, but we are talking about YOU not them!

For you to thrive, to grow, you need to do what is necessary for YOU, and you alone. Family is always family whether you live in the same house, or a thousand miles away. We all need to take care of US, or bad things can happen because we put someone else, their “needs” before ours.

If you ignore doing maintaince to a car, does it last longer? Neither will you… Prevent problems before they happen, is better than waiting for something to catch fire and only deal with that fire, once its gotten really huge.

Do what you can to prevent “fires” from happening. You will be better off…
Good luck, keep us informed,