Today I read a blog on another site about a woman with T1 for 27 years, and her terrible experience with her endo. The issue was, in the middle of her appt, she felt drastically low, and tested. She was 177, and her endo rolled her eyes. She decided at that point her endo just didn’t “get it”. Stuff happens to us. Unexplainable stuff. Feeling low when you’re not. Being low and not feeling it. Highs from out of nowhere. And, sometimes, our D scares us. I had one of those days.
As a little background, I’ve had T1D for 48 years, diagnosed at 10 months old. I’ve seen it all, done it all, experienced it all. Several weeks ago I was put on a new med (that can be read about on another thread) and my BG’s have been the most behaved…probably ever. I’ve always been lucky in that I’ve never had any major D issues at least since my teens. Save some retinopathy, I’ve had no complications. I’ve written in another blog how I sometimes have felt guilty about that, given the problems others have had. But it’s the cards *I* was dealt. Now for today’s incident.
It was a normal type day off for me. Just got a lot of things done around the house. I had to make a run to Autozone to drop off a dead battery to get my $12 core refund, and afterwards decided to treat myself to some junk food: a cheeseburger, tater tots, and a vanilla shake at Sonic. I mean, sometimes you just gotta! So I did. Took my usual bolus for it (when carb counts aren’t available I’ve gotten pretty good at guesstimating). After eating I headed home, and finished up some cleanup from earlier.
About an hour later I was sitting watching TV and something didn’t feel right. So, like a good diabetic, I took a BG. 42. With 5 units still on board.
FORTY TWO WITH FIVE UNITS ON BOARD. OMG.
So I hit the juice. 3 full 12 oz glasses. I was starting to feel sick because after 36 ounces of juice on top of all that food, my stomach was FULL. And I waited.
Two hours and several BG’s later I tested, and was 72 with 1.4u on board. I’m now out of juice. I feel like I’m going to throw up. I feel like a train hit me. And the fear sets in. I am absolutely SCARED TO DEATH of lows. And here I am almost trembling…feeling like I want to cry…feeling so helpless. I decide to eat a bowl of cereal. In my mind I knew it was too many carbs. But my fear got the best of me. I didn’t care at this point. I JUST HAD TO GET MY DAMNED BG UP!
I made a couple trips to the bathroom, almost getting sick. But I didn’t. I held it down. And 90 minutes later, tested at 220. Of course. I knew this would happen. But hey! I didn’t have IOB!!! So, I hesitantly correct that, and go sit and think.
Looking purely at the numbers (like doctors often only do) one could come up with some conclusions:
>>You were doing chores all day of course you went low (even though I had temp basal all day and tested fine all day).
>>Why did you overcorrect your low therefore making yourself go high?
>>Why are you causing yourself to rollercoaster?
Conclusion? NON COMPLIANT. Maybe I need some diabetic training, eh?
There are times when D just….takes over and does its own thing. Unfortunately, it’s US that have to deal with that. Even after 48 years, I still don’t have all the answers. After 48 years when I *think* my diabetes is somewhat predictable, it scares the ■■■■ out of me and puts me in my place. After 48 years diabetes can instill a venerability unlike nothing else. Today was one of those days for me.
I just tested again, and I’m down to 164 with 1u on board. That should get me to where I’m used to being.
Yes, diabetes, you beat me today. But you won’t tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new day, and you will NOT get the best of me. One day is NOT a defeat. One day is simply that: one day in the marathon we call diabetes.Yes, D, you got me today. You threw me a curveball. You even scared me. But you know what? Let me remind you that *I* manage *YOU*. *YOU* are MY disease, and I am NOT your test subject. Not the other way around.
Tomorrow will be better.