Dear Insulin Pump

Dear Insulin Pump,

It’s been 10 years, now, that we’ve been attached at the hip. =) I’m searching my brain for the time and memories that existed before you…but I have the worst memory, ever. And I can’t seem to find a whole lot before you showed up. I remember the weeks and months my dad spent fighting for you. I remember tears of frustration being shed by him in the hopes that one day, his daughter would feel a little less like an outsider. He fought for so long with the insurance companies and won! You were approved!

I remember the Minimed lady coming to the house and teaching me how to use you. The first week, with saline. Then you CAME! You were BLUE! I chose the color blue b/c it was different, it looked like a pager, back when pagers existed. =) I was 12, and the thought of having a pager was so cool!

You were there when I transitioned from my SUPER COOL pediatric endocrinologist to my adult “diabetes doctor.” Dr. Bodwin, my new doctor, didn’t know very much about you, as he treated type II more than type I.

You taught me the meaning of responsibility. There were days I would forget to bolus and become very, very ill. Unfortunately, those days happened more then once.

You allowed me to have freedom in a world, where I thought, that wouldn’t exist.

You were an awesome conversation starter, like in line at Disneyland. On those hot summer nights, when my friends and I would go hang out in the park, people couldn’t help but ask what you were. Were you a pager? A heart “thingy?” I was able to educate 100s of people about type I diabetes because of YOU.

But, alas, there are very few things that last forever, including insulin pumps. And there are times in our lives when we quit our job because you did all that you could to improve a person’s life and your manager ignored your advocacy, thus, you become stripped of health insurance. I believe all things happen for a reason.

I am definitely NOT ready to let you go, but you stopped working! And I don’t have an extra $5000.00 laying around to buy another one of you. And all that we can afford right now is to go back to injection therapy. boooooo It hasn’t even been 24 hours and I’m already getting depressed! I feel naked without you! When I go to run my hands across my hips, you’re not there! That would have meant TROUBLE a week ago. But for now, it’s ok.

I’ll tell ya, there are a few things that I won’t miss!
…like getting your tubing caught on door nobs!
…or when I’d sweat really bad and the taping would come off, along with the infusion set!
…or having to buy those stupid watch sized batteries every 2 weeks! They’re expensive!
…and having to go buy those batteries in the middle of the night because I’m so absent minded!
…rolling over the tubing and getting tangled in it while sleeping!
…or trying to hide you when wearing a tight fitting dress.

But those are all really silly, when it comes down to it! I took you for granted, insulin pump! =) I wish I didn’t have to go back to shots. I’m having a really hard time transitioning, as a new pumper would, I assume.

I will get you again, someday. Someday when I have insurance again. And can get authorized for one. I will fight! Just like my dad did when I was young.

Until we meet again!

~Katherine

Katherine,
I feel like sending you a sympathy card in recognition of the passing of your pump. What kind of pump did you use? I would feel the same way if I were without mine. What kind of work are you looking for? My husband works at a grocery store. Has for years. They provide us with health insurance(thank goodness). Otherwise we just wouldn’t make ends meet. Anyway, sorry for your recent loss. Hang in there! Things will get better.
-Dena