Denial

UPDATE:

Kept my promise to see Internist last week. Put on Victoza and Metformin for now, with a follow-up visit in 3 weeks. Scheduled for 1st endo visit at end of March; will confirm T2 or other. Testing, testing, testing.

LABS (hold on to your socks!):

BG: 561

A1C: 15

Ketones: 3+

Cholesterol: 249 (HDL 50 / LDL 157)

BP: 121/91

==============================================================

Soooo... a bit of history.

52 y/o, and was diagnosed over a year ago after realizing I'd lost 30lbs in one month. Terrified of meds prescribed (Victoza?), as I'm not on any other meds at all, so decided I could control with diet and exercise.

Told no family other than my hubby. Ashamed I think. Stopped testing BG after about 2 months; it was always in the high 200-300s. Figured until I take meds there's no point.

Began Vitamixing green smoothies daily for a year (kale, cucumber, brocolli, beet, 1 banana, water). Cut out white bread, rice, potatoes, sodas, chips, junk like that. Well sorta. Still have periodic (monthly-ish) binges on pizza, or chocolate cake, or sweet tea. I've been calling it Suicide by Food. But I do things like I don't eat the bun on burgers, eat more salads, salmon, etc.

Despite my efforts, still have tons of foamy urine. Thirsty all the time, 4-5 trips at night to the bathroom. And as of late, just exhausted no matter how much sleep I get. Have lost a total of 72 lbs, but last 4-5 months have stayed at same weight.

Now coming out of denial, mostly brought on by my aunt's open heart surgery last week. Horrified. She's been diabetic for years, amputated her toe last year, she's had 11 surgeries and now they've cracked open her chest... so now I'm more afraid of THAT in my future than I'm afraid of the side effects of diabetes meds.

So I'm making the doctor appointment, and have found TuDiabetes to be an invaluable resource for me understanding that I'm not alone, it's not a death sentence, and that I can probably be in even better health.

Just wondering if anyone else has had similar side effects to those in the title?

(1) Nausea after water?
In the morning I make sure to have water as soon as I wake up. But as soon as I do I'm sick to my stomach. Wondering if the 8 hours without food at night is.. I don't know, causing my blood sugar to be too low and the water... does .. .something? (Try not to laugh, lol)

(2) Bladder?
Not to be detailed, but let's just say I **NEVER** make it from my desk to the ladies at the office. I'm fine when sitting, but as soon as I stand it feels like, er, the muscles there don't... clinch like they should. (Not the kegel muscles, those are fine).

(3) Lost weight, not fat
Despite the weight loss I still have globs of fat hanging on. Is it common to loose muscle not fat? That makes me worry about my HEART muscle getting too small. Again, I'm still learning all of this, but am perplexed that all of this weight loss seems to still leave tons of fat on me.

Ok - I know this is a long post but, as you can imagine, I'm full of questions and everyone here seems to really have a good handle on things.

I am so glad you are moving forward and away from denial--it is a huge step. You seem to have classic symptoms of diabetes: weight loss, bladder issues. Are you thirsty a lot?

Blood glucose readings that remain in the 200-300 range consistently are far more dangerous than the meds. Are you testing for Ketones? I would start with that and you might get your answer immediately. You can buy the strips without a scrip.

Additionally, you need to test your blood glucose levels regularly them to take to the doctor. There is not much he can do without data. The A1C is not that helpful, in my opinion without regular glucose readings. But the daily numbers will be invaluable in ongoing treatment. In prep for the doctor's appointment, I would test the morning fasting daily, before and two hours after each meal and at bedtime.

Use those readings to create charts that include food intake, exercise, even the bladder incidents and weight problems. With that in hand, the doctor will know a lot more and will be able to help you get on track more easily. Also, continuing to see the high numbers and the patterns will keep you focusing on improvement.

I wish you the best of luck. Let us know how it goes!

I would stop whatever you are doing and call 911/999, or have someone take you to the emergency room - NOW!

You sound like you are seriously in diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA), which can be life-threatening - take immediate action!

I am not a doctor and few here are.

So so glad I posted. @Helen - thanks for the tough love, really. It all helps push me in the right direction.

Holy cow @Mike (but thanks). I'm terrified about DKA. Really? I am looking up my doc's number now.

Oh, and it's totally ok that few here are docs... the first-hand feedback of real experiences is what's priceless.

8-(

Coming to terms with your diagnosis can take some time. Based on your symptoms, your diabetes is out of control. Posting here is the first step in gaining control, congratulations on taking that first step. Helen already said the magic words "Eat to Your Meter", you will not get your blood sugars under control until you find out how various foods effect your readings. Here is a website BloodDSugar101 that has detailed instructions on following an eat to your meter system, pay particular attention to the "How to get your blood sugar under control" topic. Some drug therapy may be needed, your meter will tell you and your Dr. if it is. All drugs have side effects, but I think you realize that out of control blood sugars are very serious and will shorten your life as well as cause your quality of life to deteriorate.

Lastly spend some time going through old posts here on tuD. You will find you are hardly alone in your initial denial. Lots of us have gone through the same process and then decided to take control. For me that means I have drastically reduced my carbs and take medication to control my blood sugars. Your meter will illuminate your path forward, listen the the advice it gives you, it doesn't lie. Initially you may feel worse because your body is used to high numbers but after things settle down you will find you feel better than you have in years and those frequent bathroom breaks will be a thing of the past.

Please keep in touch and post again with your questions as issues arise, you will find tuD is full of folks who have already been down this path and can offer support and knowledge as needed.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Have been in tears for days worrying about what to do, what's going to happen, and I going to pass out in a diabetic coma on the way to the grocery store one day.

Worry, fear, anger, guilty eating, shame... so tired of this circle.

Waiting for a call back right now from my doctor's office to get into his office asap. Mike - you don't really mean the ER right? I feel a bit nervous about that. But I *am* getting in to see him before Friday. Otherwise, I'm going to the ER.

Oh yes@BadMoonT2, I've bookmarked at least 20 posts and articles on tuD to read since yesterday. First on the list is Victoza. I reeeeeeeeeeally do not want to inject. I'd rather take a pill. Injecting feels like I'm already on insulin and I DO NOT WANT THAT!! I'm spending the entire day on tuD.

Going to check out BloodSugar101, and then see if I can find any others who get nauseous after drinking water. I end up having to have a bite of yogurt or a cracker or something to get past it. Like my stomach is allergic to water. LOL

What I'm most excited about? Being able to sleep for more than a 2 hour stretch at night. You just cannot imagine.

Oh wait - of course you can! 8-/

When you see your doctor, AngieMel, you will want to ask him to refer you to an endo. Then you will want to get a full panel of antibody tests to see if you are, in fact Type 1, not Type 2. I agree with the others: Get medical help now, then come back and learn all the things you need to know. Please do not make decisions that you do not want to be on insulin. If you are Type 1, that is exactly what you need to do to stay alive and become healthy. Thousands of us on here will be here to support you in addition to your medical team. Oh and if your doctor says you're too old for Type 1? I was diagnosed Type 1 at age 58. Many of us are misdiagnosed due to age. See an endo. Get antibody testing. This will all get better when you are properly treated; you don't have to keep feeling this bad!

I went through getting up every few hours myself and it is a great relief indeed. Actually, I take Victoza and it works very well for me. It is a new drug and there have been some questions about possible side effects though. I will tell you the needle is so small I cannot feel it when injecting, pricking my finger to test blood sugar hurts way more, but even in that case it's really just a momentary sting.

Re insulin: I know many view it with absolute horror. I find it useful to place keeping my blood sugar under control as my highest goal. To achieve that goal I will do what ever it takes, if I need insulin so be it.

I think you have a great attitude, getting your sugar under control is very doable, trust me.

What is diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA)?

Diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA) is a life-threatening condition that develops when cells in the body are unable to get the sugar (glucose) they need for energy, such as when you have diabetes and do not take enough insulin. Without insulin, the body cannot use sugar for energy. When the cells do not receive sugar, the body begins to break down fat and muscle for energy. When this happens, ketones, or fatty acids, are produced and enter the bloodstream, causing the chemical imbalance (metabolic acidosis) called diabetic ketoacidosis.
What causes DKA?

Ketoacidosis can be caused by not taking enough insulin, having a severe infection or other illness, becoming severely dehydrated, or some combination of these things. It can occur in people who have little or no insulin in their bodies (mostly people with type 1 diabetes but it can happen with type 2 diabetes) when their blood sugar levels are high.

Your blood sugar may be quite high before you notice symptoms, which include:

Flushed, hot, dry skin.
Blurred vision.
Feeling thirsty.
Drowsiness or difficulty waking up. Young children may lack interest in their normal activities.
Rapid, deep breathing.
A strong, fruity breath odor.
Loss of appetite, belly pain, and vomiting.
Confusion.

When diabetic ketoacidosis is severe, you may have a hard time breathing, your brain may swell (cerebral edema), and there is a risk of coma and even death.
How is DKA diagnosed?

Laboratory tests, including blood and urine tests, are used to confirm a diagnosis of diabetic ketoacidosis. Urine dipstick tests for ketones are available for home use. Keep some nearby in case your blood sugar level becomes high.
How is it treated?

When ketoacidosis is severe, it must be treated in the hospital, often in an intensive care unit. Treatment involves giving insulin and fluids through a vein and closely watching certain chemicals in the blood (electrolytes). It can take several days for your blood sugar level to return to a target range.

So worried about and for you... Please check your ketones and make sure this is not your issue ASAP! Please.
Health, Peace and Love to you
m

Oh wow thanks. I'm adding that to my notes to review with my doc.

Funny you recommended an endo. I hadn't heard back from my primary doc, so thought I'd look around for an endo since others here referenced that. Found one less than a mile from my house -- taking that as a sign.

I feel... better. 8-)

My hubby takes Metformin and I think I'm hoping I get that too, even if different dosages.

Heard such great things about Victoza, but what scares me most is that warning on the side about thyroid cancer. Yikes. Add to that that Victoza is supposed to help you loose weight, and with 72lbs lost already everyone at work is already telling me I'm melting. So I don't think I want to loose much more. (Just the flab - lol).

You're right about insulin; I think now that I'm starting to come out of denial, I'll just do what it takes. Of course, I haven't seen the doc yet! LOLOLOL

Thanks Mateo. I'm just hoping my doctor doesn't hospitalize me. It just can't be THAT bad. I hope.

I think, perhaps, it DID get that bad about a year ago, a little after the diagnosis. I was (and frankly am still) frustrated about what to eat/not eat. I remember on 2 separate occasions I had about 4 bowls of cereal with 2% milk at night. I was just HUNGRY and I didn't want any cheese, or nuts, or berries -- I wanted CARBS. (Sounds so juvenile now).

In the middle of the night both times I woke up around midnight or so with a huge, hard knot in my gut, and ended up vomiting like nobody's business. I'm slowy moving to almond milk.

My gram used to say, "Hard head, soft behind". So I guess I've learned that lesson.

Thankfully none of the other symptoms - other than thirst - seem to be present. But I'm going to have the new endo test for it nonetheless.

Just finished reading the free ebook about Your 1st Year, and the site BloodSugar101.com. I think where I'm most stuck is re-aclimating my palate to enjoy more non-carb snacks, foods, etc.

I'm definitely going low carb though. And will be ... what's it called.. .eating to my meter. Test Test Test!

Hey Now! : ) Know how difficult this all is in the beginning, but remember... this too shall pass. A little thing to say to oneself when faced with "Carbs" is,
I choose Life, Health and Well-Being 'NOW'! And those old comfort foods will slowly disappear and change into wonderful healthy whole organic food choices.
Be thankful you have a life partner who too is carbohydrate challenged and stock that larder with great whole foods for the both of you.
Please let us know how things progress for you... you are in our thoughts.
Health, Peace and Love to you, always and forever.

The foamy urine is an infection. The infection is probably why you are suffering from leakage as well. Does it feel like you are peeing out acid when you go? That infection is going to need treatment as well. Out of control diabetes is not a pretty picture. Once you get yourself treated and under control you are going to be amazed at how good you feel. You’ll wonder why you did that to yourself for so long.

why don't you just simply go to the nearest pharmacy and buy a cheap blood glucose kit and test your blood sugars. that's the least you can do or have you tested...what is it?

Please Angie don't take this to lightly, A lot of T2's think that DKA can't happen to them, it's rare but it can happen. And then there's the possibility that you might be T1 LADA. Zoe and Mike offer good advice. It would be better to seek help and be wrong than to do nothing

8-O Seriously? An infection... greeaaaat.

No, no pain or anything when going, but I'm just very, very aware EVERY time that there's always foam (& always watching for color change).

I think I'm glad it can be treated though. I saw this video a year ago when I was trying to learn more about what's going on with the frequency. It helped me understand the process, and is what got me off of sodas:

https://www.khanacademy.org/science/biology/human-biology/v/the-kidney-and-nephron

So weird... you guys have got me LOOKING FORWARD to going to the new endo I found. I'm also strangely looking forward to testing several times a day and have found a phone app so that I always have the results with me for doc visits.

Frankly, I think the folks who created the tuD site should win a Nobel Prize. You just cannot iMAGINE how differntly I feel. Still stressed about what the HECK I'm supposed to eat, but I've googled around and know that I'll find recipies and things that are satisfying to my palate, and won't friggin' KILL me! (wink!)

Hm - didn't know they had those. Good idea. If I can't get in to the new endo by Friday that's the plan.

No, my hubby and I are both out of strips. To be honest, once the first batch of strips ran out I didn't get a new prescription because I... well, y'know... what I said earlier about denial and blah blah blah.

Can't WAIT to get the strips now though! 8-)

Thanks Stemwinder!!!!!

Yep, I'm feeling soooo empowered now, and was a bit irritated yesterday that I couldn't just walk in to the new endo! LOLOLOL

Just tried again this very moment to schedule an appointment but got their answering service; they open at 10am.

ONE guess who will be dialing again at 10:01!!

I'll be sure to ask my doc to clarify that for me... 'cos yeah, I lost a total of 72 lbs since June of 2011 when he diagnosed me, 30 lbs before that 1st appointment in June, then another 40 lbs the following 8-9 months after.

However, once I started doing the kale/cucumber/etc. smoothies the weight loss stopped. Haven't lost even 1 pound in about the past 6 months or so.

Wasn't able to get in to the new endo until **MARCH 30th** (I guess that means he's really good). But was able to get an appointment with my original doc for (gulp) today at 4pm!

Starting to worry. I'm sure to get an earful from him today since I've not seen him in over a year. God only KNOWS what my BG and A1c will be. I'll be sure to post it. I'm sure my numbers will be absolutely horrible.

Well, as long as he doesn't try to hospitalize me, I can handle it.