I think your guidance counselor is stuck in a loop of circular logic here.
You don't have perfect bg's because you have diabetes.
Because you don't have perfect bg's he thinks you shouldn't be a CIT at a diabetes camp.
By applying the above logic to everyone, no diabetics would be allowed to work at a diabetes camp.
As an educator in the public school system, this is probably the best assessemnt of the situation I have read in this thread.
There are several issues to consider here:
First, if a student is seeking a letter of recommendation and the person refuses to write one, then for all intents and purposes, the matter of a letter of recommendation is closed. You want a letter of rec to paint you in the best light possible and if the person cannot see you in that light, for whatever reason, then there is nothing to compell the person to do so.
In this case, if the refusal is based on discrimination for whatever prejudice, then the student has considerable protections against such acts and should immediately seek redress through the channels that are in place. There is absolutely no reason for a student victim to have to confront the person who is guilty of the discrimintory act. That should be discuouraged. The student victim should seek out the proper channels because those channels are in place to protect the student from further harm.
There is no telling what could happen if, for example, Gabby tried to confront the guidance counselor with how she feels about the incident. It could, in fact, clear up the whole situation and lead to a happy ending, but that's no guarantee. Err on the side of protecting the student from further harm.
Now, as a teacher, I would hope that I am never guilty of such an act and I would hope that any misunderstandings could be avoided. I tell my students that I'm human, make mistakes, and will glady apologize for any act that they feel is a personal affront on their rights as a student. However, I don't expect the students to have to confront me regarding such acts. If I'm ever called to the principal's office to explain my actions regarding a student, I would completly understand that that mechanism is in place to, first, protect the rights of the student, and second, protect my rights as a public school employee.
The student's protection should always come first.
I actually want to politely disagree with this, FHS. While I certainly don't think Gabby is compelled to speak to her Guidance Counselor, I think it is certainly reasonable for her to do so. I think this would be more appropriate than going "over his head" to the principal, for a couple reasons: 1)It would help maintain a good relationship with the Guidance Counselor who I assume has other roles in Gabby's student life, 2) It would educate the Guidance Counselor, both about Diabetes and more subtly, perhaps about maintaining the boundaries of his role. But perhaps the most important thing is I think one of the most important things we can teach young people is communication, whether with each other or adults, including those in positions of authority. Learning the difference between appropriate confrontation vs "going off" or "stuffing it" is key. Not only is it an important skill to learn but it can be very empowering, to know that you can "stand up for yourself" without "getting in trouble". This of course would need to be age appropriate. A younger child would talk with their parents who would follow up from there.
Completely understood Zoe and I certainly respect your opinion, insight, and level-headedness.
Please understand, though, when it comes to policies regarding students as victims in school, policies are in place to protect the students. Once a student feels they are victimized by an adult in authority at school, or victimized at any place or any time by anybody, mechanisms are in place to protect that child.
These are not considered teaching or learning moments.
As a mandated reporter, myself, I'm obligated to go straight to either my adminstrative supervisor, or the proper authorities if I even suspect that a student has been victimized. I'm not even given the latitude to determine if the situation could even be considered abuse or victimization. If Gabby had come to me, or I even heard from her, that a guidance counselor had "discriminated" against her for any reason, I would be obligated to go to the principal and report it myself, period.
Now, when I first read the description of the incident, I didn't think it was really "discrimination" against a diabetic. Poor judgement, perhaps, certainly commenting on matters that you are not qualified to comment on, but neither of those are considered reportable offenses. But, reading the rsponses, I reealized that it doesn't really matter what I think. If Gabby thinks it's discrimination, I would be bound to report it.
Liek I said, that policy is in place to protect the child for any foreseable or unforesseable consequences. The first priority is to remove the child from the situation, period, not send them back in to try to rectify the situation themselves.
Please remember, in cases where children are victimzed by adults, or others, it's often the child who feels that they are in some way responsible, and might even be able to "fix it".
While it may be resonable to to expect that a child could, or would, respond appropriately based on their on judgement, it is not appropriate to encourage a child to do so in such cases,
Oh, and I would agree that parents are really the first place that kids should turn. Those are usually the last people kids want to talk to though, especially if they somehow feel responsible.
I understand, FHS, about policies that are set up to protect children. I certainly think that is important, though I do feel our society over-reacts at times and sees the "bogey man" where he isn't really lurking. Nonetheless, where the safety of children is the issue, better safe.
I teach at the community college level, so my perceptions are geared to older students - adolescents and young adults. But I've certainly been in positions both there, and when I worked in Behavioral Health (and was, of course, a mandated reporter), where "policies" and what I felt was best, were often two different things. I can imagine how difficult it must be dealing with adolescent's penchant for drama, and having to distinguish the use of terms like "discrimination" or "abuse" from their actuality.
I don't think it would hurt for the guidance counselor to be held accountable to his superiors as I think he is exceeding his role and knowledge and doing Gabby a disservice that way. But I still think it would be helpful for her (if she wanted to do it) to communicate her feelings to him as well. Of course I, as a voice on a website, as opposed to a staff member at her school, am free to suggest this.
Yeah Zoe, it isn't easy, but based on past experiences, it's a policy I believe in for my kids.
Again, I see the logic and reasoning in another apporach, just don't have the luxury to do that.
Way to go!! with D management!! Good job!!! Maybe the GC just doesn't know enough. If GC saw you with one low and reacted badly, it will define the future. Maybe have an educational session. Include your folks.
When I was in 6th grade, I had a teacher who did not want me in his class. This was 1964... My mom called the school and set up an appointment with me, her and the teacher. She was not obnoxious, but she made sure he understood what D was (in 1964...) and thar I WOULD be in his class.
I was always thankful I did not have to go it alone. Sometimes you just need an advocate.
Good luck and keep up the good control.
Seriously? you want his number? because that would be the first time anyone other than me advocated directly for my diabetes! My mom (no dad) has never and would never do anything when it comes to diabetes. To convince her to switch me from omnipod to minimed my endo almost had to take drastic measures. I will 18 in 11 months and that day I will have an appointment with a new endo and get a sensor!!! I can't wait to be 18 just for legal stuff. I am not a rebelious teen, Many people tell me I am the most mature 14,15,16,17 year old they have met. I love my mom but we are just very different. Our views are very different. She trys her best but... All in all I love it here because there is support from people I don't even know. How do I thank you ALL for responding?
Thankyou for this candid response it was needed but I also agree with it and feel It's 100% true!
Hi Gabby ~
I agree with everything MyBusted says. You can print my response as well as hers.
Having said that, my first reaction when I read your story was: WHAT?" Your guidance councilor has no right to make a statement such as he did concerning your blood sugar, your control or your ability to manage your diabetes. That isn't his job. The recommendation that you want from him, and the recommendation that he should be giving if he is doing his job correctly should include your academic achievements, extra curricular activities and achievements, your character among your fellow students and faculty, and your work ethic. If you are concerned about your diabetic status, such as your A1-c and your constant improvements of it, a CDE, Endo or health nurse should comment on those.
I have little doubt that you would be good at the camp job. You understand your own diabetic issues. You have worked hard to fix them. Insisting on a pump change for the better is a shining example. You have asked for advice here and done so in an extremely mature way. I don't even know you and I would give you a favorable recommendation, based upon this post and its responses.
Guidance councilors are a weird group. Over forty years ago when I was a senior in high school, I went to the councilor's office for a pass to see the Navy recruiter. His answer was: "You don't want to do that. Now go back to class." I was later drafted for the Army, but failed the vision test.
It wasn't long after that when diabetes reared its ugly head. Thus, you need not be too hard on him. But you also need to sort out his advice to you between nonsense and makes sense.
Good Luck, Gabby, Be well.
Brian Wittman
You mention the guidance counselor doing Gabby a disservice... but what about the kids at the camp? The guidance counselor's attitude shows that he doesn't think diabetics should work at the camp. This is in marked contradiction to the way the camps have worked for at least 30 years (I don't know how they were set up before 30 years ago.) Other older diabetics at the camp, be they employees or volunteers, serve as incredibly useful role models whether or not their bg control was perfect or not.
But yes, Gabby had a disservice done to her too. Because while some might think of working at a diabetes camp as a "job" with a one way flow of information, I've always had a strong belief that those working and volunteering at the camp get great benefits too and the flow of information goes every way (not just top to bottom) at the camp.
As a past counselor at a diabetic camp in Arizona, I would say do it. It will not only help the younger kids to know you and see that there is life after diabetes, but it helps you as well. I would tell your g.c that until he has dealt with diabetes, he should watch what kind of advice he deals out. I am sure a teacher could write a recomndation letter for you as well.
Just print out all of our responses and hand them to your guidance counselor. Hopefully, once he sees a bunch of us with LOTS of experience living with type 1 diabetes, he will understand that his comment was totally and completely out of line (and not to mention dangerous considering he's not a medical professional).
I know it's tough when we don't see eye-to-eye with our parents, but in some strange way, your mom is giving you the greatest gift possible - the gift of complete independence. You've had to learn a lot at a young age and that means you're going to be so much better off when you become a legal adult. My mom was probably a bit similar to yours (also a single parent) and by the time I was about 21, I was SO thankful that she was a bit dismissive. It forced me to learn how to find my own information and to learn to advocate for myself. These are VERY IMPORTANT skills when you're an adult, especially an adult living with T1. It also makes the regular stuff in life (college, finding a job, finding a place to live, etc) seem like a cake walk!
Good point. I would totally point out that if this was a job you were applying for and you were asking for a reference, he would have a lawsuit slapped against him in a hot minute for violating the Americans with Disabilities Act.
Hi Gabby!
I too was "out of control" when I was your age. But it was being a CIT at a local diabetes camp that gave me the extra courage to get things in line for the other campers. But you're one step ahead of where I was. You're already doing what you need to do to be a good example for them. It seems that he is going off of maybe an assumption that you aren't trying just because of your old A1c. Maybe see if you can get your A1c record and print out your logbook to show him and maybe calmly explain that you have been doing much better and you feel that you could be a great example to the kids, and politely ask him again to sign the form.
So the learned person who tells you not to let diabetes define your life wants you to make a life decision based on your diabetes. "I would not recommend..."
There is a big diference between suggesting – "You should (or did you) consider how...." and a flat out "I would not recommend.
Counselors counsel, they do not recommend or direct. If they get you to look at all alternatives, they have indeed counseled.
*************************
Have you considered that it may be time to start screening for your next counselor? Have you considered looking beyond academic history? You may want to consider interviewing potential counselors, PROBING to see how many interpretations they can give you for a single set of circumstances. Use your experience as a "hypothetical" and see how they handle this mock counseling event.
While it is reasonable to "not let diabetes define your life." it is also foolish not to define life choices and actions based on your diabetes. You would not stop BS control processes, for example. Your choice to control BS has defined at least that part of your daily routine (YOUR LIFE.) As my 8th grade English teacher liked to say - "watch out for glittering generalities."
TAKE CHARGE - not only of your diabetes, but also of the professionals you select to assist you.
But, if you want someone to make all your life decisions for you, it seems you've found the right cousnelor – make that LIFE DIRECTOR
GLL
Explain to your guidance counselor the process of keeping your sugars in check. In order to have tight control, you have to test. If you weren't testing often it would indicate lack of good control. With your a1c's, your frequent testing, and your desire to do more you are actually a VERY good example. Obviously your counselor is not qualified to make this call. Just take some time and talk to him about what type 1 entails and that you are looking for a recommendation based upon you, not your disease.
I would also consider reporting this judgement to your principal. The counselor is making medical decisions that he is not qualified to make. He also is not being a very good guidance counselor by tearing you down. You're doing well, keep fighting and you'll be fine without his letter.
Hi Gabby, Don't take it personally, whatever your "Guidance Counselor" did and said to you. It isn't a reflection of you. His words are a reflection of him. You will prevail. You will prove him wrong. You are wise and mature beyond your years. I want to commend you for managing your diabetes, especially under the circumstances whereby you do not have much support around you. I want to commend you for your interest in working at a Diabetes Camp. The fact that you want to do this kind of work says you are committed to helping others, hard-working and have a positive attitude. It is incredibly tough to have diabetes at your age, on top of all the usual stress teenagers face. Sometimes adults, even teachers, are not as sensitive as kids assume we should be. This is my perspective, as a former high school foreign language and social studies teacher, and as someone with T1 for 20+ years. Many adults have not dealt with a chronic condition such as diabetes, and therefore do not appreciate the 24/7 constant challenges of simply staying alive and well. Unfortunately, your Guidance Counselor, while he may be full of good intentions, has taken the wrong approach with you. He doesn't understand you. If he takes this approach with you, my hunch is that he has a pattern of judging and making assumptions. To share a related story with you to illustrate my point....I had a Guidance Counselor in high school my senior year, who told me not to bother applying to competitive universities. I don't know if he was being negative or lazy or both, but I recognized that I should disregard his discouragement. Against his will, I applied to 9 schools, and you know what? Much to his amazement, I was accepted everywhere I applied! I went to my 1st choice, Georgetown University. If I had taken his advice, I never would have lived my dream. Sometimes the right thing to do, is to listen to your heart and be your own cheerleader. You cannot change him. Focus on what you can do; for example, getting recommendations from other adults who know you: teachers, your diabetes educator or physician, a neighbor you have helped, or if you babysit - ask the parents to consider writing a letter for you. Heck, I haven't even met you, and I would be happy to be a reference for you based on your spunky initiative to reach out and ask for help in this forum. Keep us posted. I know you will continue to accomplish your goals! "TypeOneZoe" aka "Hoya Zoya"
Love the idea of the letter from the doc, it makes perfect sense.
Perhaps the ADA could "counsel" the counselor how to "counsel" someone with diabetes?