Diabetes no badge of honour

Way back in 1996 I had gone to the doctors because I was under he weather mind you for as long as I can remember I had always felt under the weather,from my school days when I did not do PE because of my ear problems up till then, well let's say I became more mature in years ,or as my grand daughter asks me grandad are you old,when a 4 year old asks that you do really feel old,while in the doctors he said he wanted to test my blood sugars I said ok until he pricked my finger with as much sensitivity as a as a chain makes hammering the liks of an anchor chain together,use to watch men and women do this hard back breaking job in the 60s,the doctor tested my blood and said you are diabetec or is it diabetic to be honest I did not have much idea what he was going on about after he explained I had a better idea and thought perhaps I had been a diabetec for much longer and never realised.

It was several weeks before I got the courage up to tell my wife to be honest I thought I was dying a bit of a hypacondriac to say the least,i never realised what it was to be diabetec and for many years did not really take it seriously wish I had,I carried on smoking eating fresh cream cakes and generally stuffing myself silly untill it all caught up with me in August 2004 when I suffered a massive heart attack it was not much consillation the surgeon telling me by rights I should not be here,for a long time I never realised or appreciated the gift I had been given by having a second chance at life,when I was having my heart attack the pain was so severe no that does not even to begin how bad it was I prayed and prayed for the pain to stop, sorry about my spelling it has only been the past year I have began to realise how lucky I was,I did not get off scott free the guilt of not dying sits on my shoulder like a rock holding me down I often ask myself why me I have not been a good person at times I have been the devil himself and treated people I love so poorly,for a while I wore my diabetes like a badge something to hide behind so people would give me a shoulder to cry on,and when I got into a depressive state I was not fit to live with.

Is there time to put right some of the hurt and wrongs I have done who knows lest to say when you are given a second chance do not ask why just be humble and say a prayer thanking God for being there when you needed him most.

Time for insulin victoza and morning medication done, now what do I do with the 9 hours in front of me until my lovely wife comes home from work,I would like to paint the ceiling change the toilet lots of things I would have done without a secong thought before my heart attack all those lost years oppurtunites gone forever work on my photographs not much effort needed there just imagination and a good photo package, until we meet again best wishes Raymond

Sorry that you suffered a heart attack. I didn’t know that. That must have been some scary. Certainly you are worth a second chance. Perhaps your experience lead you to be kinder to your Family and others. Maybe you help People more. Even a smile at someone you don’t know…or do know. Listening to an older Persons stories or complaints. Teaching a little One something new or reading to them. Calling someone who lives alone. Liitle things that can make a difference to someone. It’s not difficult. Ask People that you have hurt for forgiveness or say you are sorry for hurting them.

Like you and many others, I’ve been at death’s door several times. I shouldn’t be here either. But I discovered my purpose which I am looking after. I also like to give things to People and to donate to my special charities… It makes them feel Special which they deserve and it makes me feel Happy that they feel Happy. I also like to joke around and make People smile and help People when I can.

Nice profile photo btw. I don’t know how you did it but you look younger. I hope that your tests go Well on Friday. :slight_smile: