Do you ever feel like you just want to disappear?

So i am 31yr old. Type diabetic 1 diabetic since 23yr old. my body is extremely fit and very muscular 10% body fat. height 6.1 and very very handsome (everyone tells me this i know is true) with green eyes. A bachelor and a master in engineering. Some good friends around the world. Here is my problem in my all life:: I train hard, lift weight, box, i check my blood sugar on regular basis. i run once in awhile. i have strict diet with low carbs and more healthy food. i take multivitamin and any other vitamins that are necessary. I am over this disease but but but but but here is the problem NOT matter how hard i try it brings me down everyday at work and the gym and any relationship and any social events with strangers or random people. It just takes over my body and mind and gives an extremely poor performance in my day to day things to do. So this is why i crush down i want to disappear... i try hard and hard and i still do poorly in my job, a job interview, a normal conversation, anything !! No i am not depressed for been diabetic i depressed because it lowers my performance by 60% or more every day. ..

So what is the point of all of this, if my body and mind can not perform at the level it should.... why why why the effort and why keep going this is how i feel and I am tired

I agree it can be tiring. My 15 year old got diagnosed at 8. But to consider that you are not efficient 'enough' and attributing it to diabetes is something I do not agree with. There are numerous number of achievers with Type -1 Diabetes. I like to give their example to encourage my daughter.
So when life gives lemons, take a moment to reflect, think about millions who suffer in countries without medical facilities and think about the impact you can have on them by just setting an example of positivity.

A good read.

thanks for the help.

I have found with tighter control, my body rebels and cannot function well unless at a normal blood sugar range. After 48 years of having this disease I don't know if it is the disease or just getting older. I do know that I have never been this exhausted in all of my diabetic life. Hmmmm maybe I am not good looking enough.

Try being 87 broken hop wheelchair for rest of life. I will not let this thing get me down. I do everything I can to forget this disease. I think you try too hard. Lighten up a bit./ Ypu will be just fine. Reed

I am sorry you are feeling this way. It is not uncommon for folks who want to be on top of their D.

One thing I do when I am feeling this way is to care less about D. I know that sounds awful and not good advice, but really, if D is the number 1 thing in my life, than it is out of control. I need other things to be number 1. So I move it back, exercise because I want too not because of D, take vitamins because I want too not because of D, etc.

I don't know if that will help or not, but D is part of my life, I never let it be my life

How so? And where does that number come from?

You lost 6 in ten friends BECAUSE of....? Your work production has been reduced this much because of what??? Flesh this out for us with some better details... in any arena(s).

We can be more helpful from there...