Hi Phyl: Welcome! Oh, that was not an April Fool’s joke. Good for you for persisting to get the correct diagnosis, we have to be our own best advocates.
We are featured in the featured groups area again :). WAHOO!
Ohhh, having a depressive day. Can’t seem to snap out of it. I did indeed get some mild exercise, but it didn’t have much of an effect. Feeling so unproductive in my day – and in my life, in general.
Hi Jan,
wish I could say something to cheer you up . . . have days like that myself sometimes. Diagnosed just a couple months back and still somedays think I m going to wake up and it has all been a bad dream . . . Doesn’t help when people tell me worse things could happen . . .Like I don’t know that !! Never mind it is a good thing you had some exercise big hugs and hang in there 
AndyJane, that was so nice. You’re a newbie, too! I’d love to talk more with you and learn about your story. Last week was just my four-month anniversary.
It isn’t so much the diabetes that’s depressing me as it is my self image. It’s completely and totally shot to smithereens. Worst it’s ever been. And it doesn’t help that I’m living alone (never been married) and not working right now.
Certainly a triple whammy.
Triple whammy indeed. You may be feeling chronic depression, situational depression, AND the effects of the Big D. Hang in there. I’m sure everyone here is praying/pulling for you. The self-esteem prob is integral to the depression. Classic symptom. And our work is such a part of our self-image. When I became disabled and had to leave my job, I really tanked. To make matters worse, I couldn’t think at ALL, couldn’t read or write (my profession). I couldn’t even watch TV, because I couldn’t follow a plot. I watched familar movies over and over and read children’t books. Happy to say, it got better. 
Jan,
Hi! It will get better. I think we all go through this at first. I too am a newbie, newbie. I found out in March of this year but was not correctly dosed until May 4th. I still have those days where I’m just sure it will all go away, only to wake up to a bs that is high and say man messed up the dosage of insulin. I’m glad you got your walk in. I’m still working on the consistent exercise part. Just hang in there and know you are not alone =)
Oh almost forgot, I had my a1c drawn again and am happy to report after another 2 months it has dropped another point. So since January when I was 12.6 it has dropped to 8.6 I love insulin and hard work!
Jan,
I was diagnosed 4 years ago and I still feel like a newbie! Believe me, every single one of us has days when we are sure this is just a bad dream and we will wake up and be perfectly healthy. While that might not happen, you can still do everything you did before, it just takes a little planning. =)
The dating world can be difficult to navigate especially when you are first meeting someone. My self image totally shattered when I started using the pump - who wants to be with someone who has gagdets inserted in their stomach?! But I have found it is much better to surround myself with friends and people who love me. Eventually that one person will come around. Or not.
Hi Jan,
Sorry you’re having a bad time. I too am newly diagnosed (March) and have been struggling a bit emotionally. I’m sure that’s common with anyone facing a diagnosis like ours - especially in the early days. It’s quite a roller coaster. If it helps at all, as I read your post I didn’t think you had an unproductive day – just the opposite. I was proud for you on everything you did accomplish. The fact is that as bad as you felt that day, you did get out and go for a walk and you did reach out to a support group to get some help. That’s fantastic! It’s hard not to just curl up in a ball on those days so I think you showed real strength. Unfortunately the days where we feel like we really accomplished a lot are often few and far between so don’t lose track of the little things you’re doing each day - they’re equally important and they really add up. Living alone with this is definitely an added challenge, especially when you’re not working. Any chance there are people in your neighborhood you could get out with regularly - walks, bike rides, whatever? Any volunteer opportunities that appeal to you? I just think sometimes getting out of the house is the hardest thing so having someone expect or depend on you can be really motivating. I hope your days start improving very soon but in the mean time, keep plugging along. You’re not alone in this!!
Stardust31 – Congrats!!! That’s fantastic news.
What a wonderful support group this is.
I knew that you were sending me messages last night (got email notifications), but I was too depressed to read and answer them. I plopped in front of the TV and got lost in a movie. (But the darn female lead had gorgeous thick long hair, and diabetes has made much of mine fall out!)
Today I’m equally – if not more – overwhelmed. Really lost in it. But I managed to finally come here and read your messages. They’re beautiful.
Petite: It was indeed consoling to hear of your experience. I’m sorry you had to go through that! I have experienced some lack of brain power (I’m a puzzle fanatic and notice the difference in what I can and can’t do), but TV movie plots are okay. But you’re right – not working is horrible to my self image. And I’m not consistenly well enough to find a regular job right now! Catch 22.
Stardust: Your words were great to read, and it’s nice to meet another newbie. Thanks for reminding me I’m not alone. (Congrats on your A1C success!!)
Dazed: You’re a newbie as well! Thanks so much for writing. Your words of encouragement – reminding me of what I DID do – meant so much to me. Really. I rarely hear that from the people around me, and I loved hearing it from you. It’s hard to remember those things myself when the folks are trying to push me to find work, clean the house, etc. (House is a mess.) It was much appreciated.
Everyone, thank you for your love and encouragement. I will undoubtedly need to come back here later in the day and reread these. Depression is bad today.
But right now, I’m going to walk over to the store to buy something. I don’t think it will cure me, but at least I’ll get a little California vitamin D.
Love,
Jan
Becks, I didn’t see your message until just now. Thanks for chiming in!
My depression is a little bit different. From some strange reason (which I can’t quite understand), my depression is not centered around having diabetes. It’s weird, but I’m grateful – I’m not depressed from having it.
It’s just that the diabetes seems to aggravate the clinical depression which I’ve already struggled with throughout my life. I’m depressed because I can’t move, can’t get things done, convinced I’ve completely lost my looks, and feel that I don’t deserve to be out in public.
Actually, the diabetes has actually helped me to make wise food choices and adopt a healthful diet. But the depression can be overwhelming at times.
Thanks again for your thoughts.
it’s hard to find encouraging words to help someone who is going through the same thing as i am. but i have to say that it helps to know that others are experiencing the same things i am, and in that i take comfort that i’m not completely alone in all this! i was diagnosed last april, so i’ve been actually dealing with this for a year. i was very depressed, angry, frustrated when first diagnosed. but it has gotten better, although there are days when i still can’t believe what i have to go through. i went on the attack mode when first diagnosed; found myself a good doctor (which took 4 doctors and tons of frustration), i’m seeing a therapist (and yes, that also took some time to find the right one), i’m now on the right thyroid medication (and yes, again it took 3 different doctors to get it right), i take high levels of vitamin d, b12, fish oil, iron and other supplements to help. i can’t tell you which one of these is the cause of the lift in my depression; it could certainly be a combination of any one or all of them. but i encourage you to be proactive with your health and do as much as you can to be your own advocate. don’t settle for the first answer you get; there’s likely better ways to help you deal with all this. oh, and i also forgot to mention that i workout 2-3 hours a day every morning which also helps with my sanity :). take care, and i hope you find some energy to give yourself the help you need. i’d be happy to answer any questions i can or be of any support you need
@Jan–“completely lost my looks”: We all do, sooner or later, don’t we? LOL! I try to believe I have only misplaced mine.
I don’t think older women “lose their looks”. We DO change, but I’m constantly seeing older women who are truly beautiful. I folk dance, and we have a 92-year-old, an 88-year-old, and two ladies in their late 70’s, and I love looking at them. They don’t look like teenagers, but they ARE beautiful. Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder, and I love appreciating these marvelous ladies!
Natalie, I was thinking of even LATER. I agree, I do love seeing old people, especially those who radiate joy and wit. My mom is almost 87, still beautiful–and WAY more active than I can be. A real inspiration. I used to hope I would not become like my mother; now I hope I will!
I wasn’t even referring to age. It’s not that I’ve lost my looks due to getting older. It’s that I’ve lost my looks due to being sick and depressed. I just think I look so bad nowadays.
Hi: Last week I posted my latest blog on misdiagnosis. It addresses adult-onset Type 1a and LADA, amongst others. Enjoy!
Melitta,
I have been reading your posts. I was misdiagnosed as a Type 2 back in 87. I think I am LADA since I was 21 at the time but, since there was no testing for antibodies I am not sure. Is there anything I can do to be sure? Or is it too late?
Michelle
Hi Shadow: The GAD antibodies can often be detected many years after diagnosis, so you could get tested if you really wanted. On the other hand, you almost certainly have Type 1 diabetes, you are getting the correct care, so does it really matter? Taking the best care possible of ourselves is what really matters. I took a quick look at your page and saw you are considering a pump. I have the Animas, and LOVE it. Pumps make your life better, IMO. Best of luck to you!