Hi Nancy, I never had a doctor with D. Many of my doctors were judgmental too. Changing doctors is not easy in a small town, but that was a long time ago. I have good doctors now.You have had a good experience, that’s great!
I like the way you replied, Leo, and I certainly agree! If we know the doctor is giving poor advice, and we know how to best manage our diabetes, then we do it our own way. That has worked very well for me, for a very long time. I do have a couple of very knowledgeable doctors now though. I wish I had one in 1945 when it all began.
Does omission count? Is not saying something the same as lying?
Trust is earned. Many give stupid advice, some graduate at the bottom of their class or are just not truthful why they push a specific tool.
Are “they” always honest with us?
Stuart
It was truly a blessing and for several years I actually would drive 4hrs there and back to see her. I’ve moved around quite a bit and for the most part have had some really good doctors but I’ve had some doctors that were so completely ignorant and had their heads firmly place up their own backside. I have no patience for anyone who thinks that a degree means they’ve learned everything they can.
Richard, as an advanced practice nurse who dealt with diabetic patients for years, as I did the primary teaching and oversite of patients with diabetes for my clinics, I realized that people did lie to me. Especially it seems men! LOL
I read a study though that said that if you (the caregiver) told your patients that you could essentially see through the “lies” with the lab results like the HA1C they would be more truthful with you. So I told my patients who would (again, especially men) “be good” for 2-3 days before comingn in so their fasting glucose in the office would be “good” and I would be fooled into thinking they did this all the time. WRONG. So actually when the patients realized they couldn’t “fool” me with a good office fasting glucose and I told all my patients, that I am the “coach” and you are the “team.” I can’t play the game for you, but you can’t play the game well if you don’t know the rules. So DIABETES IS A DO IT YOURSELF TREATMENT PROGRAM, with food, medication and exercise all being points on a balanced beam. Only the patient can balance it. If I gave a patient a hand full of pills and said, take one pill every 6 hours, most people would not take them all at once one day, or take 8 twice a day, or 3 one day, and 2 the next—they would take one pill every 6 hours, the same is with food and medication and exercise, they are all MEDICATIONS and treatments for diabetes and should be taken in prescribed amounts at prescribed times.
So actually, I got GREAT compliance out of most of my patients after I put the RESPONSIBILITY to take care of their diabetes on their shoulders, and didn’t play “head games” of fool the practitioner. I was not their mommy I was their health care teacher and coach.
I did have one woman scream at me one time though “don’t tell me about all this food and exercise crap, just give me more insulin!” I “fired” her as a patient and asked her to go to another provider that I would not work with her.
Now that I have gained weight since my husband died (one little bitty pound at a time until I was FAT!) through LYING TO MYSELF, I too am type II diabetic and having to get HONEST WITH MYSELF and MY DOCTOR—and I’ve lost 28 pounds and got some more to lose. So far I’m maintaining with out medicaiton, but I also realize that that may change before long even with the best management of food and exercise.
I had to cook things a little while after DX to prevent a second diagnosis from negatively affecting my healthcare. It didn’t really work out as I expected, but I am not at all repentant. I was honeymooning, and was on the verge of having my diagnosis changed to type 2 because I was responsive to oral medications, so I stopped taking orals without informing my health care provider. several months later, I am no longer responsive to oral medications at all, and had I not done this, I would not have enough insulin to carry me over until my insurance starts back up. Not all primary care managers are competent irt diabetes, and not all doctor/patient relationships last long enough for complete honesty to pay off.
I never lie to my doctor. I tell her everything and besides,the A1c, my weight, and other lab tests will back up what I tell her. If you give the doctor all possible correct info, they can help you better.
After every checkup and consultation, I hug her and tell her how much I appreciate her help and guidance. She could make a heck of a lot more money in private practice, but she likes to help the veterans. People like that deserve a standing ovation!
She is a primary care physician and if my A1c would ever go out of sorts, she would refer me to the Endocrinologist for a consult…hasn’t happened yet! I guess being type 1 since 1979 has taught me a bunch!
I used to lie, but after 14 years of diabetes, I’m honest with my doc. Sometimes he doesn’t agree with me, but I remind him he doesn’t live with this disease as I do, and until you walk in a diabetic’s shoes, you shouldn’t be quick to judge how we behave. This isnt’ a disease for the faint of heart.
I love that quote flyboy. Thanks!
Short and to the point!
Wow, no problem there ! If anything I am overly honest with my doctor as the scare that brought me to diabetes was enough to shock me into reality…I almost died, I cannot imagine ever lying to my doc, so I can only guess where that person was coming from and will leave it at that. Some are just in severe denial, if they dislike the doc so much they can ask for another. This is your life, cherish it…ok I am off my soap box too lol ! and lastly the docs are not in our shoes, so walk a mile in them…people have their reasons and I only hope they will do what is best for them !
Namaste, Cathy
I do to the Canadian anglo not my new South african one. The anglo are full of the book says to do it therefore it must be done. The new one is open mind and will listen to patients concerns. I told them I will think about statin when I had no intention ( rightly or wrongly) to take that stuff. Muscle damage even if only 1% chance would be a disaster in my case.
Type 1 26 years. Totally. About a week ago, in fact.
I just started Dr B’s diet and they told me to quit cheese and eat less meat. I told them I would. I have no intention to do this. I want to see if my lack of carbs (and flatter bg’s) really drops my cholesterol. They are not in support of my Bernstein experiment.
My doctor asked me if I was watching my Saturated Fats. I said “of course.” I actually watched a huge pile of them disappear down my gullet. I don’t think I lied, I just think we may have had a misunderstanding.
Ibsc, it sounds like you were trying to be funny or sarcastic. I had a good laugh ! : )
Cathy
My VA docs are also amazing - both my PCP and Endo. I’ve never had doctors before them who would sit and help out with actual problems I was having. Congrats on picking up good ones too!
Good for you BSC. I posted on diabetesdaily how much better were my lipids on a high saturated fat diet than on a low one. HDL went up from 1.1 to 1.3 mmol/L and trigs went down from about 1 to 0.75 and LDL if it has any meaning stayed the same at 2.5.
Tempted as I often am, I don’t lie to my doctor for the same reason I don’t lie to my mechanic.
I just cross my fingers that they don’t ask the question I don’t want to answer.
Terry
I will lie to a doctor when he’s clearly an idiot, but I don’t lie to myself, friends or family. I usually don’t stay with a doctor like that, but sometimes I’ve not had a choice (small country town where I lived before for 12 years) and I’ve had to stay to get scripts and so on. I didn’t need them being judgemental about a disease they don’t live with every day. But yes, when I find someone kind and non-judgemental and who is also encouraging I will be totally honest with them. It’s in my interest to do so.
I’m so sorry I’ve lost my endo because I’ve recently moved. I loved his attitude and his manner to bits. He never forced anything on me, just encouraged and praised even the smallest step forward, and laughed with me about the backward steps.
I have no idea what the new endo will be like and I’m fully prepared not to go back or tell white lies if he’s not the kind of doctor who will assist me in a kind way and make decisions with me not for me.
I have not lied to any doctor I’ve seen…however if they don’t ask a particular question - then I don’t volunteer that information either. I’ve had too many doctors to count that just don’t seem to view their profession as a calling and not only a job. The doctor I have now told me, without reading my chart, that I am at risk for amputation, heart attack, stroke etc. because I am obese, aging, hypertensive and have high cholesterol (which hasn’t been tested in almost 4 years). I have to be honest and say I don’t really like my doctor and I wish I could find a new one who wasn’t quite so judgemental.
I do the best I can by my diabetes and my A1C is usually 6% or less. He never gives me credit for trying.