well i been down quite a bit lately for reasons for this “friends” making diabetics jokes lately have really been getting under my skin lately…i think because i joked about it in high school to cope with being “different” from everyone else they think its ok to joke about it now (5 years later) anyone know a way to say stop to them without it seeming like im biting their heads off…and also been dating a girl for a few months now and she is a nurse so she has basic knowledge of how to deal with diabetes but anyways we are getting an apt here soon in the past people i have lived with including parents have always had junk food in the house which makes it hard not to eat it…would it be rude if i asked not to have those junk foods in the house?

also i have a lot of stress atm in my life going through a child custody battle with my ex wife (last time we were in court she tried to say i couldnt take care of my son cause of my diabetes like if i passed out or what not) so not looking foreward to going through child custody battle but with this high stress level comes BGs that are hard to control…can be running high then bolus still be high 2 hours later…usually when im stressed with something i just give up but in this situation i cant give up…any idea’s how to get more control with a high stress volume…sorry for the jumpy rant just down at the moment…

First thing, breathe. Second thing, the world doesn’t revolve around you or your diabetes, even when it seems like it’s all-consuming. It’s not reasonable to ask other people to change what they keep in the house or to bite your friends’ heads off (although you can ask them to stop, or alternatively, make fun of them). No one really cares if you’re diabetic (this is a good thing, believe me!) so don’t give them a reason to care. Third thing, your ex-wife’s argument sounds like a load of crap but coming off as out-of-control (both with regards to diabetes and with regards to life) will validate her argument. I know very little about family law/divorce but I can tell you that her argument is probably a non-starter as long as you generally have your life under control.

Fourth thing, breathe. You’ll survive.

Fifth, you might want to make some more jokes about being diabetic; it sounds like it was an effective coping mechanism. “Insulin didn’t seem to cure it, so I’m trying heroin” is always a classic.

i wasnt meaning like keeping junk out of the house like totally and not saying that everything resolves around me and my diabetes meant like asking to keep it to the limits and who said anything about being out of control? yes its difficult to control as of late but thats do to increase of stress…and i dont joke about it because it isnt really something to joke about. but thanks for input

For me, joking about it takes a lot stress out of it. It is also a way to blow off some stress and when others joke about it it does not bother me since it is only a repeat of something I may have said!

yeah it used to not really bother me and if it happened to be a bad day they would know to cool it idk why it is bugging me so much lately

Maybe we’ll just have to agree to disagree, but I find it hilarious. I mean, yeah, it sucks and is annoying and unpleasant, but when I take a step back I see a lot of people hooking themselves up to cyborg equipment and sticking themselves with needles and driving themselves crazy over tiny details and beating themselves up because their A1C is not in the 5s and giving themselves a correction at 110 (all based on things I’ve read on this site!), and then I think about the people out there who believe they can cure diabetes by drinking water or who take a shot of NPH and call it a day, and then I think about how this whole debacle looks from the perspective of someone without diabetes. How can they comprehend any of this without thinking it’s funny? I mean, it’s sad, and it’s upsetting, but it all goes to demonstrate the frailty and insanity of the human condition and is part of the weird, sick, bizarre comedy that we’re all a part of whether we like it or not. If you can create the mental distance to approach it like that (a lot of people struggle to do it–it’s hard!!!), you will find it funny.

well not sure of ur story u said u step back and look at it from a non diabetic point of view so i am guessing u have had atleast part of ur life where u can remember the non diabetic point of view which yeah might be helping but when i have had the disease from as far back as i can remember kinda cant see that point of view…as a health care worker i see the long term affects of the disease when people come in with amputations from lack of control (yes usually their own faults but not always) its not really funny or the 50 yr olds on dialysis from kidneys going bad…at times someone will make a joke and it will be funny but other times its like really are u listening to yourself…everyone is different

I would just bite their heads off? OK, maybe not but if someone w/o diabetes is making a diabetes joke, it’s probably not very funny? Perhaps though in being down about it you are, in turn, feeding your wife (and, I presume, her attorney?) the ammo that she’s trying to use against you. Having diabetes and parenting is not easy but being insecure and parenting is very hard, since children are like sharks and insecurity is blood in the water for them.

Re food, I sort of cheat at that by doing the shopping. It helps that I’m the “morning person” but when I do that it is fairly easy to arrange junk food that I want. If you are used to having junk food and eating it and dealing with it, it may also be a bad idea, particularlyl in the middle of your court case to make a drastic diet change? I generally try to ease into stuff like that. I also, of course, like junk food a lot so I should probably shut up about that. Maybe if NurseGirlfriend is really into healthy eating that approach would work but I would not come across too heavy-handed doing that if you are moving in together.

Regarding the junk food in the house - if it’s going to be an issue, it needs to be dealt with. If you don’t state your case and ask her to be supportive by limiting the amount of it that will be in your face and readily available to you, there will be resentment and that’s never a good thing. If she says screw you I’ll buy whatever kind of food I want and you should be able to exercise some self control, well now, that would show you what type of person she is, hmmm? Likewise, if she says, Wow, I didn’t realize having it around would be an issue - I’ll do my best to keep it to a minimum and not flaunt it (kind of like having the decency not to stock the fridge with beer when you have a recovering alcoholic in the house?)…then again, you see what kind of person she is. Either way it’s a conversation that needs to happen.
As for the custody crap, mothers are still favored. People will claim this isn’t true, and yes, the tide is verrry slowly turning, but the fact remains that it is still much more tedious to prove a mother unfit than a father, and subconsciously, many judges still lean toward mothers keeping custody when at all possible and just giving fathers their Wednesdays and (every other) Weekends. If she has any documented incidents of your diabetes causing problems: DKA, severe hypos, etc, you’re going to need to be extra vigilent. Hopefully, since it sounds like the judge didn’t really buy it last time? she won’t bring it up again…but better to be prepared. As for keeping your levels down when you’re stressed - have you tried increasing your basal? Exercising to relieve not only some physical stress, but mental as well? Seeing a therapist? Learning some relaxation techniques?
And as far as your buddies joking around - if it’s really bothering you, tell them. No need to be a dick about it, just be like “Dude, maybe I’m just stressed lately or something, but the diabetes jokes aren’t funny anymore. They’re kinda offensive, man. Knock it off.” Or…just stare at them next time they start in with the jokes. Don’t laugh, don’t say anything - just give them a blank stare. They’ll stop. They’ll ask you what the hell your problem is, and you can either tell them the sh!t’s not funny anymore or you can just raise an eyebrow and change the subject, but they’ll stop at least for the time being. However, the more adult thing to do would be to be honest and straightforward with them. (altho I have to admit, sometimes the glare and watching them squirm is way more fun lol)

It’s not your right to demand that other people restrict their behavior to accommodate you or your diabetes. The better solution is to ask your housemates to also keep healthy food in the house, not to tell them what they can’t keep in the house.

Show me where I said he should demand anything:

ask her to be supportive by limiting the amount of it that will be in your face and readily available to you

I guess I’m not seeing it.

If these two are going to move in together, there will need to be some compromises in many areas…this is just one of them. If his self control is such that just having it in the house will be a major issue for him, she needs to know that beforehand. And if she has no respect for him and is planning to eat packages of Oreos in front of him, he needs to know that. Letting her know his needs as far as trying to get his blood sugar under control and then maintain it is called communication and it’s very important in any relationship, be it platonic, romantic, or familial. Maybe she can have whatever junk she wants but will agree to keep it out of his sight. Perhaps she has a weakness for it, and she may agree to keep it out of the house because she feels it will help her as well as him. Or maybe…she doesn’t even like junk food and it’s not even going to be an issue. Regardless, the conversation needs to happen so all parties involved know what is or isn’t going to be an issue.

I advocate communication, compromise, and respect, not demands.

well after some thinking and some somewhat decent sleep the junk food really isnt going to be a big deal she is pretty understanding…and yes communication and compromise is a big…as for the stress
situation exercise has helped a bit but dont always find time.

I’ve been a Type 1 for 38 years. It’s been a trip. Amazing how many others do not understand diabetes, and often try to “help” when they just don’t. The years in my youth were especially trying, as I was the “odd child” and often left out or treated differently when not needed. All I can say there, is now as I’ve become older this has given me an extremely good view of life and I would not want to be here today without these experiences.

As far as the jokes, you might try laughing at them. Improve them and use them yourself. I have an 11 year old daughter that does NOT like to laugh at herself. I still haven’t figured out how to teach her that laughing is an awesome medicine, and if you can’t laugh at yourself then you’re really missing out on the best parts of life.