Dumb question? Anyone wanna add a thought?Ok maybe just a rant


Ok. I know that there are really no dumb or stupid questions.
I’ve been reading along with another post
(I wish that I knew what I know now…) and talking to a local friend that has type 1. sigh…
Because of my bloodsugar numbers; the general thought is that I might be a type 1.
Reasoning: “If” I ate similar amounts of food as I did 4 years ago. My numbers after every meal would range between 250 and upwards.
How do I know this? “if” I ate two pb&j sandwiches, a non-diet soda and crunched on a couple of handfuls of grapes and a “chunck” of smoked gouda cheese… I would be taking a long “nap.” ( Like I used to 4 years ago. )

Skip to the present time where I eat very little to absolutely no bread. Meaning = I may lie to myself and have 1 PB sand with a diet soda and desire a nap within 30 minutes.

Question? sigh… not dumb… just very financial and emotional.
Do I dare step foot into a Dr office?
Financial = My hubby is soon to have Blue Cross Blue Shield; we have no idea yet how much it will cover.
( If he activates… Air Force Reserves… we’ll have Tricare not such a wonderful thing either!)
So that means co-pays and who knows the cost of whatever the insurance does not cover.
Emotional = I have no support here at home to eat right. Encouragement to lose weight,go for walks, just talk about my emotions or talk about any info that I learn about.

Another thought : I have already told all of my family and friends that if anything ever happens to me… I do not want to be hooked to a machine of any kind for more that 6 months. I feel that is long enough for anyone to drop by and say goodbye or call and say goodbye.

I dont want to mask with medication or machine as I will die diabetic whether I take medicine for it or not.

Do I still struggle to go to a Dr? Where I will be told that I’m a liar? or told that I’m not doing my part to be healthy? Should I even try to lose weight?
I keep trying to be responsible for me and my health…
Will I always be guilty of not doing enough?

Should I really be here with you?
I know that I feel encouraged and stronger just reading your posts…