Erotica for Diabetics


#1

It occurs to me that Ning, and by inheritance, Tudiabetes, has an interface much like MySpace.com. This got me wondering, why doesn’t tudiabetes share other qualities of MySpace? Specifically, all those random women with idealized profiles that want to be my friend on MySpace. You go to their profile, and they’re all between 18 and 30, love to have some sort of fun and want you to go to their site to check out more pictures of them. But, wouldn’t it be fun to have a Tudiabetes equivalent?

CHARLENE WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND! Profile:
Hi, I’m Charlene. I’m a petite 24yo Type 1! I’m on Lantus and Humalog injections and I love to bolus in public! My A1C is 6.1. Come to my site to see some hot pictures of me bolusing in an Italian restaurant after eating a delicious meal of Chicken Marsala! Mmmmmmm!

BUNNI WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND! Profile:
Hi there ya, I’m Bunni! I’m a voluptous but athletic 28yo Type 2! My A1C is 6.4! I’m way into nasty carb counting. Come to my site to watch me sensously swallow metformin!

TAMMY WANTS TO BE YOUR FRIEND! Profile:
Nice to meet you, I’m Tammy! I’m 22 years old and a Type 1 who’s been on a pump for the last 5! This has brought my A1C way down to 5.9! Come visit my web page to see me testing my glucose, followed by some sizzling close-ups of my infusion site!

Uh, huh. Just like our fake friends at MySpace, our trio above doesn’t represent the reality of diabetes. Where’s the Type 1 who’s had vision problems? The type 2 that just can’t lose those extra 50lbs? Those scary effects of hypos? Real people, I have to imagine at one time or another, slip up in managing this disease, which is a complete administrative pain in the ■■■.

Delving into the idealized erotica invites received on MySpace, it also occurs to me that corporations who market blood glucose meters do the same thing. I was shocked when my wife’s OneTouch Ultra 2 came with a picture on the front of the manual where the meter actually read 138. Every other picture of a meter in promotional or guide material had always had a sugar between about 95 and 110 on it. Where’s the 373 you inexplicably get after eating a meal you thought was moderate in carbs? Where’s the 45 you get after unplanned strenuous exercise? Why are the promotional materials always full of sugar (okay, splenda or aspartame, in our case) coated test results?

This world is indeed a very silly place.


#2

Thanks for this post. It made my day.

Bernard
I’m a type 1 diabetic who loves to have fun with 6-foot data cables. Watch me tie myself up while trying to download data from the three WONDERFUL diabetes devices that I carry with me. Then see me sweat as I use three different pieces of software to see what all the numbers might mean for my diabetes control.


#3

Heh, thanks, Bernard!

I’m familar with getting tied up with data cables, though usually in the course of wiring my home network…

I often wonder how much of controlling diabetes is a black art more than a science.


#4

snort Funny stuff.


#5

Julia> I try. Thanks!


#6

Nicole
Type 1 diabetic with a pump that’ll take you to the Cozmos. I love treating my reactions with cake frosting. Come to my site and watch me lick pink icing from my fingers and raise the roof on the sugar.


#7

ho, ho, ho!! Thanks, Mr. Bits.


#8

“Hi, I’m Travis. I am looking for an adventurous (and naughty) female type 2 that wants to sneak out and grab some french fries!”


#9

lol!
OK so I’m at least 6 months late reading this, but I’m loving it.
Travis, I’d go for those fries - unless you’re ‘typist’ (lol) - I am a T1… but I’ll shout cheesecake!