Face Saver

It's been a while since I've even glanced at this tab in my browser but in all fairness its been a chaotic few months. With the bound of my degree on the unusually close horizon I decided to focus all my attention on my impending exams and project write-up, rather than proscrastinative activities like youtube, with the exception of a few Game of Thrones episodes thrown in sporadically within that period. Unsurprisingly, to some, concentrating on my studies came off and after what seemed like the longest month of waiting I have experienced, I was confirmed a degree in Medical Physiology.

Like many of my previous four posts this topic only applies to people with diabetes…. Yeahhh No. Its just that I feel when I have a hypo I'd rather suffer with the symptoms than suffer with the pity of a friend or colleague with remarks like "Are you OK? Or, Can I get you something?" Granted these are the questions most polite people would ask but these questions make me feel pretty powerless and like a bit of a spooner. So even though its in my best interest to say "No, I need some sugar right now!" I keep it to myself and ride it out, with the intention of finding some sugar as soon as that person or those people are out of sight.

This week I was in the lab dealing with flies and doing general labby things when I started to feel weak, confused and had a general distinct sensing of hypo, much like a spider-sense…. A diabety-sense if you will. So I was in the lab with my diabety-sense itching, whilst changing the food for the flies which means I have to delicately change the tube the flies are in, trying not to lose any because they would be used for testing later in the month. I was doing my best to conceal my hypo, which I later nullified by explaining to my superior that I had diabetes, when I managed to let three flies go. As this happened my supervisor told me it was fine but I thought, irrationally, while feeling pride-hurt in a hypo state that this was not OK… Not on my watch. As the three flies left the test tube without my permission, I leapt out of my seat and tried to 'catch' them, which is quite ridiculous considering that anyone who has tried to get rid of a fly in a room knows how frustratingly impossible that is. I now realise how just utterly stupid I looked to my colleague but I cannot undo that act and now I look stupid to her, forever. So in my attempt to save face, I instead punched it repeatedly and proceeded to throw it off a cliff.

Reading this back I realise that I've totally forgotten why I started to write this and that it barely relates to the main topic.


Don't be so hard on yourself.

I blacked out at work, couldn't get out of the floor, etc,etc. While I was coming to, and apologizing profusely, blabbering, one of the managers said she thought I was courageous. Your co-workers may think more highly of you than you think they do. And in this day and age of tolerance, we should not be afraid or ashamed to say "I need to check myself," anytime, anywhere.

And congratulations on your degree.

I once laughed loudly and uncontrollably at my supervisor who left the room and sent in a secretary who stabbed me with a glucagon and called the ambulance. When I returned he said Are you ok? Ahh well yes now but earlier, I was yeah I know you needed insulin. Ok enough said.

Thank you very much! You're right, I expect people's perceptions are totally different from what I expect. But i'm sure i'll have some more embarrassing experiences to come.