Facing my fears - or perhaps not so much - need help

During the past two days 15 years of diabetes correlated repression collapsed over me.
At once it became clear to me, that diabetic complications are not something that just happens to other persons, but that it could happen to me too. Suddenly thinking of my personal future became overwhelming threatening. I realized that even a good treatment of my diabetes (and my treatment hasn’t been good for the last years) cannot (or will not necessarily) prevent me from complications - I can only hope for good genes. And I started to believe in a cure, because it seems to be the only way out (proving wrong everything I said in my last blog post).

It’s like I’d just been diagnosed. I don’t have a new position in all of this yet - I don’t know whether it’s going to motivate me or if it is going to paralyze me. I don’t know anything right now. I’m just scared. So scared.
I don’t even know whether this fear is rational or irrational. Does it seem to me more terrifying than it really is? Or is it only just the first time that I see the terrible truth? Right now, D seems like a big monster that I cannot fight, it will never go away. How can I deal with that? Right now I’m hoping that I will be able to change my point of view again, and get back to a more confident, optimistic one. Hope this happens soon. :frowning:

Hi Debb and Jim,
thanks a lot for commenting.
@Debb: The “give a black eye to” made me laugh. And everything you said is correct. I just have to wait until it settles in… but I already feel better.
@Jim: There has been so much going on in my head, But this thought didn’t cross my mind - that non-diabetics can as well get health issues out of nowhere. This helps.
Again, thanks to both of you!

@Jim & Debb : wow

@ Vera: well jim n Debb gave u a gr8 answer so i dont know wat to say now ,i was in the same situation but now things r changed.all i can say is DONT U EVER THINK THAT UR ALONE,we all are here !!

Well… Right, most of the things really have been said.
I can only say that I feel with you and you should feel hugged.
If we get to love life as a whole, with all its beautiful and terrible aspects, nothing can scare us anymore.
Love life itself-and live it the way you want it. This gives me the power to think- okay, if I’m really doing what I can, and then something terrible happens- Okay, I’ll face it. Because I’ve lived honestly towards myself, and that’s the most important thing.