Falling apart

So Friday night I had a miscarriage. I didn’t even know I was pregnant. Didn’t know that I could get pregnant. Wasn’t expecting it at all. I cried, I fell apart. And now I’m getting told that it’s for the best I don’t need to have a child right now anyways. My problem is that I want to be a mom. Have for a while. Prayed that I would be able to. Just one, happy, healthy child. I know, there’s still time for it. And now I know that I can get pregnant. But still, to have found out this way is just really really hard on me. And I was alone. I went to the ER alone. I had a nurse hold me when the doctor told me. I spent six hours in a small cold room, except for the occassional nurse, alone. I’m not dealing with it well. I hate myself a lot right now. They said that my body just aborted the pregnancy. I know that it happens a lot, but I have never had to go through it. And I don’t know how to deal with it in my head yet. My heart just feels empty. If I had done something different along the way would it have carried through? Could I have been a mom? Was it my diabetes? What if I had been more careful with my sugars, not had so many problems at the end of last year? I prayed to be able to have a child. What kind of sick joke is god playing with me? I am still wearing the bracelets from the ER. Not ready to take them off yet. Having to keep a reminder that this is real. That it wasn’t just some bad dream. I hurt. I feel empty and bitter. I can escape and take my mind off it for a little while, but I still just stop and cry. I was going through walmart, of all places, getting a bag for my new pump stuff and food for the house. Walked by the baby section and tears just started coming down my face. I know it will get better, and that I may still be able to have a child. It’s new, it just happened, and it’s traumatic. I’m strong, I’ll be ok, I just need time I guess.


I have started this note over 10 times in the last few minutes. Words can at time seem to not capture the depth of what we would like to communicate. We understand how painful this time is for you and please know that you will be in the hearts and prayers of many as you process the events of the last few days.


Im lost for words…in fact, any words may not be enough. Right now, I just want to give you the biggest hug I can offer…And the prayer, that God give you strength.

Rebecca - You’re so right - it is HARD! I have been in your shoes - nothing about miscarriage is easy or understandable, nor should it be. Let yourself grieve - you have every right. Do you have someone close you can talk to, whenever you need to? Somebody to just simply be there by your side? I feel for you - wish I had some magical power to give to you to make it easier. If you need someone to listen, feel free to contact me. Touch base with us to let us know how you are doing, if nothing else - we do all care. Lifting you up in thoughts and prayers,

I am so sorry for your loss. I am hopeful that you will heal and get stronger each passing day. Take care Sweetie.

I wish I could be there and give you open arms. To make you feel not alone. I know what you are going thru, I’ve lost 4 myself but had 4 live births. They are all grown up.

But I always go in my alone time, to remember the ones I lost and have a good cry. Than I’ll go buy a cake or make a special dinner like as if they were here.

God doesn’t put sick jokes on anyone, he is mourning with you as well. In the new world, we won’t be suffering. He promises that to us. Like the others say there are no right words to tell you but only to be there for you.

Take care, Patti

Thank you all so much for your support. I cried as I read this. I do have someone here to talk to, but right now it’s helpful to know that I have a lot of people who care and who know what i’m going through. I go to get more bloodwork done tomorrow, and I have some follow ups with my other doctors this week to make sure everything is ok. I just wanted to say thank you. You all mean the world to me. God gives us only what he thinks we can handle, and I will be ok. Just takes time.

We are with you. This is not easy, I am sure. We’ve not experienced a miscarriage in our family, but my mother did lose to pregnancies prior to having me more than 37 years ago… and to this day, she still remembers it.

But like her, you will one day look back and remember this sad event as you look back at your future children. Don’t lose hope and don’t let anyone tell you you can’t get pregnant. You can.

BIG hug from all of us here!

Oh my, Rebecca – I am very sorry to hear about your loss.

There are no words to say that will take your pain away, but I hope you know that we are all here for you. If you need someone to talk to let me know!!

Take care.

My heart and prayers go out to you.

My heart goes out to you Rebecca. I hope you find strength here. If any of us could make it right, we would. What we can do is send you love and positive thoughts. Please lean on us, we are also your family and are here for you.

I’m so sorry to hear about your loss. Don’t blame yourself! There is hope! Although I haven’t lost a baby, I was diagnosed with Type1diabetes when I was pregnant with my daughter- my sugars were in the high 300’s and God know how much higher they were before diagnosis. After I found out and my doctors taught me how to take insulin and what to eat…and what not, I had a VERY healthy pregnancy and my daughter survived unscathed and healthy. Diabetes is a pain in the ■■■, but when it fights us, we just have to fight back harder and not let it stand in our way! You are a strong woman, and I’m praying for you. You’re gonna be a great Mom one day!!

This is Brandi’s mom. My name is Denise. I too had a miscarrage. I was married at 18 and wanted children right away but decided to wait a year to really settle into married life ( I now ofen reccomend this to other young couples). My husband had lost his mother suddenly and without warning 3 months before our wedding so we decided to live with his father to help with the transition. My sister in law got pregnant not long later. I was still longing for a child and she was not only pregnant but was carrying twins. By this time a year had passed and I was trying but to no avail. I tried for a solid year and nothing. I felt like I was less than a woman and it hurt so bad. I went to a fertility dr. and found out I didn’t need their help because I was pregnant. I was elated and relieved I was able to concieve. I lost my baby at 7+ weeks. I cried alot and I didn’t understand why it happened. I also had well meaning people saying things like " at least you know you can get pregnant" and " well you can always try again". People don’t understand how much this hurts. I didn’t lose my shoes I lost my baby! One friend sent flowers with a sympathy card. You have to acknowledge it was a baby and it was a loss. My advice is to name your baby if you feel comfortable with it. Its saying this was my child not a blob of tissue, it was my baby! My babys name is Monica. I know your angry and your angry at God. I can assure you He is the giver of life and not death. He hurts for you more than your hurting right now. He can also heal the hurt in your heart and He desperately wants to you just have to accept it. I can also tell you there’s NOTHING you could have done to prevent this. It’s not your fault. I will always be here if you ever want to talk. Just pm Brandi and I will send you my email. I will be praying for you and will do anything I can to help. I’ve been there and I know how you feel. I am a pastor and I am available to help anyone who needs it.

My dear friend, I am so very, very sorry. The person who told you that it was best to have this happen, was totally insensitive to your feelings … but they said it, and now it runs through your mind. I am sorry you had to do this alone, I am sorry that there was no one closer to you who could have held you, who could just sit with you and let you feel what you feel, without having to make comment. Because you do feel what you feel, question or despise.
Your sentence that said, now I know I can get pregnant tells of the hope that is in your heart…and that is a good thing to dwell on. You can, and you will know what to do…it’s not a cruel joke, God or your body played on you, it happened. You are feeling what every woman who has wanted a child and has had a miscarriage…pain, hurt, betrayal, fear, you name it. I’ve had a miscarriage, also, and like you felt and said, sometimes screamed those same questions at God or whomever was out there. Allow yourself time to feel what you feel. You’ll remember this, it will be come less and less, but you will remember. And when you do get pregnant again, you will have some of the fear return…but don’t let that stop you from taking care of yourself, of being good to yourself, and of being a mom. Yes, you need time, and take it. That’s your perogative. Time…to heal. I’ll be thinking and praying for you.

I am so sorry, Rebecca. We’re all here for you, and if there’s anything I can do, please let me know. You’re in my thoughts.

I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. It may sound trite at this point in time but you are dealing with this. You are opening up to us, your diabetic friends and we are here for you. :slight_smile: There is always someone online that will take the time to chat with you! It’s OK to be sad, mad, frustrated and angry, it’s natural, it’s part of grieving. As long as you know that you are not alone. :slight_smile:

sending hugs and prayers your way!!

Rebecca…I am so sorry to hear about this happening to you. I cannot begin to imagine how hard this is. My sister had two miscarriages and I was with her for the last one. I saw her go through so many emotions, so much pain. Please know that you have friends here. You are not alone. OO (hugs)


So sorry to hear of your troubles. I can’t say anything to take away the pain. It will gradually get dimmer until, I believe, it will become a fond memory of your lost little one in God’s hands. Do NOT blame yourself or anyone else. It was just meant to happen.

As cliches go, the one that I would find the most encouraging is that you now know that you can get pregnant. Before trying again, go to the DR and find out what you can do to encourage conception and completion of a pregnancy. Maybe something you can do or eat to make sure you are ready is out there. Spiritually, don’t be shy about consulting a clergy man or woman and ALWAYS feel free to bounce it off of anyone here. If we can’t recommend actions at least we can console.

Love in my heart always,


Rebecca a big HUG from me to you.
I am sorry to hear about your loss and wish you the best in everything.
I am not sure what else I can say.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx