My dear friend, I am so very, very sorry. The person who told you that it was best to have this happen, was totally insensitive to your feelings … but they said it, and now it runs through your mind. I am sorry you had to do this alone, I am sorry that there was no one closer to you who could have held you, who could just sit with you and let you feel what you feel, without having to make comment. Because you do feel what you feel, question or despise.
Your sentence that said, now I know I can get pregnant tells of the hope that is in your heart…and that is a good thing to dwell on. You can, and you will know what to do…it’s not a cruel joke, God or your body played on you, it happened. You are feeling what every woman who has wanted a child and has had a miscarriage…pain, hurt, betrayal, fear, you name it. I’ve had a miscarriage, also, and like you felt and said, sometimes screamed those same questions at God or whomever was out there. Allow yourself time to feel what you feel. You’ll remember this, it will be come less and less, but you will remember. And when you do get pregnant again, you will have some of the fear return…but don’t let that stop you from taking care of yourself, of being good to yourself, and of being a mom. Yes, you need time, and take it. That’s your perogative. Time…to heal. I’ll be thinking and praying for you.
