Fear and Hypoglycemia Part 2

http://paulsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/10/day-183-fear-and-hypoglycemia-part-2.html

Part 1 is on the blog as well as a few other posts that I forgot to post here as well. Thanks for reading guys.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that there is a correlation between coming down from a spell of happiness within a reaction of fear and the feeling of a low - in this not connecting the dots between diabetes and emotions and how the 2 interplay continuously.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider how emotions and feelings will effect myself within diabetes, but to only accept it as a consequence of diabetes, accepting the emotions that I go through as a consequence of being high or being low, not allowing myself to see the direct correlation between the 2 and how the desire for happiness affects most of my actions within/as diabetes, such as when I am in the pursuit of happiness I forget often to test blood sugar, and do not take proper care of myself by testing and injecting proper insulin for the food that I eat, and that diabetes is clearly showing me what to investigate within myself in the context of emotions and feelings that I go through.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the fear within me in regards to walking this life, the fear of having to live, the fear of walking this system, and in this all encompassing fear resort to happiness to use it as a veil to blind me from having to face this fear, in this accepting myself to consume a lot of sugar as a point that I have associated with happiness to combat this constant nagging fear of having to walk this life within this system

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see how fear and lows correlate between each other, not seeing how the experience of fear is quite similar to that of being hypoglycemic, and the experience of being hyperglycemic is similar to the experience of a point of too much energy, too much happiness, too much positive stimuli within the mind, and in this not see that this constant back and forth within emotions will have an effect on the body and that these emotions do not go without consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see the fear when hypoglycemic but simply boil the emotion down to being hypoglycemic not allowing myself to see all the connections between fear and hypoglycemia because simply I do not want to, I just want that jolt of happiness within the consumption of sugar, in this using hypoglycemia to create a low within me, a terrible feeling, where I become an emotional ■■■■■■■, all so that I can consume sugar to manifest the polarity of/as positivity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use sugar as a point to veil the fear and negativity that I feel within walking this life within/as me, using sugar as a jolt to push myself to positivity when I go through fear all so that I do not need to face my fears as I blind them by happiness within the consumption of sugar and/or other points that I have associated to happiness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not face my fears, face the fact that I do have to walk this life and that this life, within the context of the hopes of how easy it is to gain positivity from the consumption of sugar, is not going to be easy, it is not going to be as easy as simply eating a point of sugar to manifest happiness, and that this life is going to take real hard work from myself to get myself anywhere of influence or `worth` within this system, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in this associate living this life as a point of struggle and hardship because it is so easy to manifest happiness within eating a candy and that walking this life within the physical is not as `easy` within the immediacy of positivity as it is within consuming sugar

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself in this life and direct myself from a fire that I set alight inside of myself to stop this fear from living in this system and walk within this system equal and one to this system to understand how it functions, and how I function in equality, and to stop the expectation of things going to be easy for me , in this fearing having to walk a difficult life, difficulty within the context of being harder then creating happiness from eating candy, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop this fear from walking any point of difficulty and will myself to take responsibility for myself in this world no matter what, directing myself to make a change to myself and this world equally, and in this deciding to let go of the fear of letting go of this definition that I have become as a person who expects things easy, and create myself as a person that will walk a point no matter the difficulty and no matter the `trials` that I face until it is done and I stand equal and one to the point here as me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated and angry when I am low because of the fear of having to walk this life step by step within an `inconvenience` that has becomes hypoglycemia, fearing that it will not be an easy life for me because I have to deal with this disease for the rest of my life, bearing the burden of the constant DisEase that I've accepted and allowed myself to life, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not decide to stand up from this illusion of a DisEase, and take responsibility for creating myself and the life that I live through/as walking through any point no matter what may `stand in my way` even it the point that is standing in my way is myself, in this committing myself to walk with myself to stop hindering myself from living a life without a DisEase but taking responsibility for all points within my life and working with them and me in equality to not make a life of Ease but to know that I stand infinitely within walking any point into completion, not giving up because I only believe that it is too hard to me to stand up and walk through

Took me billions of years to realise that my rollercoaster emotions had to do with bg. It seems so obvious now.