Feelings of guilt

There are days, usually about 6 out of 7, where I would give my arm in order to be able to stay home and not be financially obligated to work. Even though my son is 15, I still feel guilty when I am unable to stay home with him especially if he is feeling sick. Plus now he is participating in football so I am trying to manage his crazy schedule and end up dropping him off prior to leaving for work…picking him up on my lunch…having to take my lunch at 10:30 or 2:30 depending on the practices. Sometimes having to leave work if he goes low at practice, and working late to make up for it. Having to leave work if he goes high…you get the picture.

How do some of you manage your feelings of guilt for not being there?? There are some days where I just feel like crying because my boss is mad because I’m taking to much time, I’m frustrated because I’m running around like a crazy woman on my lunch hour, and then I feel guilty because we dont make enough money to support me being able to stay home. It’s no wonder my blood pressure was high at my last Dr’s visit! Please let me know how you cope with the stresses of working full time and being a full time parent of a type 1 diabetic child.

Looking forward to your input - thanks!

I know how you feel,whenever I have a new diabetic and the mother tell me she is not working,I feel happy for the sake of the kid,women who are working in saudi Arabia usually hire asian maids,but never trust them to give the injections.School,friends around the child and relatives usually are educated about diabetes for emergency,but still all working mothers tell me they feel guilty about work.

Hi, I now work about 28 hours a week, but I know I will have to go back to work full-time soon. From the above post, I see you have to leave work often for your son’s health-related reasons (highs, lows, etc.). What might help you immensely is a federally-mandated law called Family Medical Leave Act or FMLA. As a mother of a Type 1 child, you definitely qualify and your employer cannot deny you leave under FMLA. Of course your employer would have to have a certain number of workers, not sure if it is 900, 1,000. What most people do not realize about FMLA is you can take intermittent leave. That is, you may take two or three hours out of a day for doctors appointments and/or health related reasons where your son requires your assistance. It is three full months – or three-month’s worth of intermittent time – per year. I would be willing to bet you actually take much less time than that. The time off from work is unpaid, though. Some employers require you to use all your vacation time first. But it would ease stress with your boss getting “mad at you.” Because once you are covered under FMLA, which can be renewed yearly, your boss cannot discriminate against you for taking time to help your son.

I am so sorry that you are going through this! I really wish that I had some great words of wisdom to share on this subject. I am hoping that some working moms and dads will chime in soon. Maybe on Monday when they are checking out the web instead of working they will answer you. :slight_smile:

Jan - thanks for the information. I did not realize that about the FMLA. I hope that information will be useful to others but unfortunately doesnt apply to me since I work for a small office. I believe the employee count must be at least 50 to qualify. Hopefully the info will help someone else who is struggling. thanks again.

I FEEL THE SAME WAY…MY SON IS 15 AND I HATE LEAVING HIM HOME…NOT BEING ABLE TO MAKE SURE HE IS TESTING HIMSELF REGULARLY WHEN IM NOT HOME, OR MAKING SURE HE IS EATING OK… IM A SINGLE MOTHER AND HAVE TO WORK FULL TIME IT IS SO HARD… I BLAME MYSELF WHEN HIS A1C IS TOO HIGH…

Dear MaryBeth - Even though my son is now 24, I still walk around feeling guilty for everything that goes wrong in my son’s life. He was diagnosed at 17 (his Senior year in H.S.) he was the captain of the basketball team and had three scholarships waiting for him - But the news were too much of a shock for him and he decided not to go away. It’s a long story, it has not been easy on us - but he will not discuss any of it with anyone. I just found these communities and I so wish I would have had them at the time he was diagnosed - I also had to work long hours but at the end I have to be thankful for my job, it paid for our Insurance and he is been able to be treated by the best Doctors at The Diabetes research Institute in Miami. All I can tell you is to always remind yourself that he needs you healthy! Good Luck and God Bless!