My mom's funeral was today (technically yesterday now). Not many people showed up, but I was expecting that. I think my mom would have wanted it that way anyway - she wasn't a big fan of crowds.
It was held at the funeral home, and the pastor we got to do the service did a wonderful job, even though he never met her. I read two sets of Scriptures (1 Corinthians 13 and Revelation 21:1-6 if anyone is curious) and after the service had people tell me that I did a good job and that I was very brave to have done that. I'd wondered if I could do it too, but I did, and I'm glad. It's kind of like closing a wound in a way, but I can't quite describe why. I was involved with my mom's care a lot while she was still alive, and now that she's gone I was also involved with the sendoff of her physical body, kind of like the cycle is complete now. I used to want to be a pastor too, so it just felt right somehow. I dunno, maybe that sounds dumb, but that's how it was.
I'm sure I'll have a lot more crying and grieving to do, but today I didn't. I laughed, as I've laughed all week really, as I shared stories of my mom with people, and I know that's how she would have wanted it too. She's not sick or sad anymore, and we shouldn't be either. I don't know what people's beliefs on this site are, but I have to believe that she's in a better place, and that someday I will go there too. I have a lot I need to deal with, but right now all is well. I don't know if my mom's spirit is helping me with that or if it's God or if they're both the same now, but I'm content. Maybe I'm just numb and it's gonna hit me hard later, but for now I will rest peacefully, knowing that my mom is too.