Hey Chriski,
Thanks for sharing your post. Many of your experiences hit home and it wasn’t until I made a conscious decision to change my life (not just D) did things get better…
I was diagnosed at 8 - nearly dead and slipping in and out of a coma. I remember every last detail as if it were yesterday. As a child it was harder to deal with and when I soon realized what I had to do to stay healthy and avoid such complications, I felt empowered.
It sound odd but the emphasis on good eating habits and regular exercise changed my life. Not only did it help keep my sugars stable, it boosted my confidence and allowed me to enjoy life and the wonderful foods and experiences brought with it.
I understand depression as I’ve suffered from it before. The best advice I can give you would be to make a life change - re-evaluate your friends, where you’re going with your life, how you can manage this disease better, and what kind of life you want to live. Make a list of all of the things that make you happy as well.
I kept a happy journal for a while in which every day I would write down one thing that made me happy. Just one sentence, After a month you see patterns.
You mustn’t feel sorry for yourself, Chriski. This disease is very annoying and comes with scary potential consequences, but honestly, you can enjoy an absolutely wholesome, fantastic life.
You mentioned that your diabetes makes you an outcast. How so?
I am married to the most wonderful, gorgeous, kind man in the world and my diabetes has never once been an issue. On the contrary. The dedication I have towards making this disease as easy as it can be has been a motivation to my husband and to my friends.
You ARE normal Chriski. You’re a normal bright and beautiful person who unfortunately has a disease.
Look at what some other people have to go through and you will realize how special your life is.
On a side note, if you’re truly depressed I would recommend therapy over medication. I had a horrible experience with antidepressants, I’d be happy to share with you.
Rebi