Forgetting those around me

Here I was, forgetting those around me. Gone to work, come home, and get ready for the next job. Work has always been in my blood, to provide. Exhausted from work and occasional high blood sugars, I would go take short nap, perhaps a long one.

Away from my family doing errands that benefit the household. My time away wasn't benefitting the family at all. I had to stop and comprehend what the kids, ages 24, 20 and 17, were saying. Like ' Mom, are you off tonight?' ' Mom, I wish you were a stay at home mom.' ' Mom, we like spending time with you.'

Had to put the breaks on emergency stop. I had to listen what the kids were saying. Mom, we miss you! I knew than that I had to makeover my time with them. Stop worrying about the diabetes going out of whack and that the bills won't get paid. The diabetes has really controlled me when I thought it didn't.

Especially, my relationship with my mother. Now that has to come to a better life with my mother. I hardly saw her at all and when I did, it was a rush, rush to do what I had to do for her and go. We did go out and eat and shop. Only rushed. Also, because of my trauma past with her.....I didn't feel the connection with her. She wasn't a mother to me, so why should I be a daughter was always on my mind. That consumed me for years......27 years.

Till one day, when I was dropping off my mother, she stopped and turn to me and said ' I enjoyed the time I have with you, it makes me happy.' I felt this sensation go thru me like I never had before. My mother being a mother to me. In this case, she was being a mother to me these past 7 years since the trial. In her way, she was being a mother trying to make up for lost time.

Here I was pushing her away. Since that day, I have forgiven my mother. That was over a month ago. When I talk to her, I'm not rushed or getting annoyed with her. I have a different perspective of her now. Now we spend time doing things and the other stuff can wait.

This makeover of mines started on the 8th of April. I have done a day of walking for an hour with my husband. I did the front and back yard of mines raking, pulling out weeds, and stuffing bags while my hubby did the mowing. I used some muscles that I hadn't used in a long time. I'm sore just trying to sit down. Spend more quality time with the kids and the grandkids.
In all, I'm sitting back to see what Diabetes has controlled over me. I was blinded in some ways. That's why it's good to have some emergency brakes, so that you can save yourself from the trap of diabetes. I'm spending more time with the kids and the grandkids. Less time at work and cutting out on some things in life so that I won't have to be working so much.

I will write later and let you all know my progress. Patti

Take the time to say “I love you”, give a hug or two, read a book with the grndbabies, enjoy the moment with a loved one, forget about the time on the clock…soak it all in. Forgiveness is never easy, but it is worth a try.
Let that darn Diabetes not get center stage all the time. Wishing you good days with the ones you love, Patti. Enjoy and make memories, they are just heavenly. xo