Funniest "D" experiences

Mental and Emotional Wellness
1

Waiting for my proverbial “parachute” to open, and the BG free-fall to stop (safely). I cannot help but thinking of some hopelessly silly experiences I’ve had re: this dragon. My question what is the outright silliest situation, the funniest experience(s) that you’ve had regarding/because of your diabetes…

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Lets see. I was maybe 10 years old. Went down to the local hospital for the four month lab draw. It was a beautiful spring day. Mom took me, and after we were going to get to eat PANCAKES in the hospital’s cafiteria. They were delicious and I liked em… a lot. It was fun… well almost!

Hospitals were scary places, all the doctors and nurses who could do “mean” things to me. But, some were nice, and I’d even fallen in love once or twice with the pretty young nurses at different times. We popped into the administrators office there was no line, and Mom answered the same silly questions they always asked.

I was a pro by then. Proud I knew where we were going and how to get there fast. My favorite VAMPIRE, my buddy Scott was on today. He was fun, interesting and real fast getting the blood out. I liked him. He never hurt me.

We got to the lab waiting area, and there was nobody there for a Saturday morning. A couple “old” people, a girl in her early twenties, and a little girl, 4, 5 sitting across from me, looking through a coloring book, completely absorbed. I looked around, most were scared, or pretty nervous, tired. But I could hear my buddy Scott, and was not afraid.

I watched the girls mother at the window, talking with somebody. I looked at the girl and realized she had no idea where she was… “innocent”. Rolling my eyes, I read the story I was writing for mom.

Scott called me in, we talked about a movie I wanted to see as he read the order, and got out the vials, rolling his stool into position. “Which arm you want to use today…” he asked respectfully? I thought about it a second, and gave him the right.

The little girl was now sitting in the next booth over. Her mother sat her down, and went to find the tech. Her mother hadn’t told her what was about to happen. She was clueless why she was there. The tech and the mother appeared at the same time, and the tech pulled out the necessary vials.

I looked into Scotts eyes and looked in the girls direction. He sighed, pulling the second vial out painlessly, perfect as always. He knew what I meant without words. He cringed with me, a grim brief smile, knowing what was coming next.

The tech pushed seeking a good vein in her tiny arm, the little girl no longer “allowd” to read her book. She watched the tech probing, silent and curious. The tournaquit tied firmly, the girl becoming puzzled?

“…What’s THAT for mommy…?..”

“…Oh nothing sweetie… the nice lady is going to take some blood…”

“…BLOOD mommy… where’s she gonna get the blood from…”

The tech now realizing the terrifying situation she was in… her young patient had not been told!

“…I’m going to take some blood from your arm honey…”

The words sinking into her slowly began to register. Thinking of their meaning… the young tech pulled out the needle, screwing it securely on. At which point her words were understood.

“…ITS MYYYYYYYYY BLOOD,…”

My blood you can’t have it it’s MY blood…"

The young technician had never experienced a dangerous five year old before.

“…Its ok honey…” the words practiced, false and worthless. I looked at Scott stifled a giggle smiling knowingly. He was needed. The tiny girl was violently struggling prepairing her escape. Her howling protests echoing through the lab.

“…MYYYYYYY BLOOOOOOD… you can’t have it TAKE HER BLOOOOOOD…” she screamed pointing angrily at her quivering frightened mother. The young tech was completely overwhelmed.

“…Hi Karen… my name’s Scott…” my friend the vampire was going to make it better. I held my moms hand and walked into the cool hallways, hungry for the pancakes she promised.

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That was over thirty years ago now. But I still smile when I think of it. What stuff have you encountered that makes you smile because of your diabetes?

Anybody?
Stuart

2

About 10 years ago I switched from R and N shots twice a day to lantus and novalog. I was at a customer site that I have an office in and was taking a correction dose. At that time I did not know that they had a security camera pointed at the office. Later that afternoon their VP walks in to talk. On my desk was my kit with a needle on top of it. About 2 days later I received a call from my HR person to come to a meeting. My senior VP for the devision flew in for it and I needed to be there. While sitting on a conference room the Customers VP came in and went right to the point of the meeting. Illegal drug use on his property followed by the video of my taking my shot. The customer offered me referrals for drug treatment and other services. At that point my VP and I started laughing really loud. He basically told them I was a diabetic. The deer in the head light look on their face was priceless. From then on I never heard one negative comment from them and they never questioned if I needed to take a break to get something to eat. At that time I was annoyed, but since then it is always a good story to laugh at.

3

Hello Brock:

Thanks for playing… oh that’s good… love it!!!

Did they zoom in on your injecting hopefully… always wondered what I’d look like on film doing such… wonder if I’d find hesitation, or tangible displeasure doing what’s been done for decades… doing what must be done. Wondered if I’d catch any on said film…

Stuart

4

Not sure if they recorded it. I just know that they watched it. It is still funny today because I still deal with the same people there. They always bring it up when we go out to lunch and I need to shoot up. I just hope I never see it on youtube!

5

Hello Brock:

Ends up on youtube, I’ll subscribe : D

Stuart

6

I hope it will never be seen again! I am into politics and I could just see the new footage on TV if I ever get far into it. Local candidate exposed on camera while taking drugs. Must see video before voting.
I can picture it now “I did not shoot up drugs with that women!” “It was insulin”. Oh sorry, no women was involved at that time.
I guess we have to have a sense of humer in dealing with the D.

7

I was probably around 8 yrs old when this happend. My grandmother was very sick and my dad drove us to spend the night at a friends house so they could to the hospital. It was really late and I could barley keep my eyes open, my dad had just gotten off of a week long construction job 3 hours from our house and had not showered or anything, so he looked kind of homeless lol. Well my dad pulls over and I had no clue why, then I saw the cop at his window. The cop took one look at my dad and looked and me and my brother in the backseat and was not happy to see this grubby man out with his 2 kids at about midnight. So he asked for the registration for the car and when my dad opend the glovebox a bag of my syringes fell out. The cop then got my dad out of the car and handcuffed him, took my brother and I out of the car and seperated us and started asking all of these questions. I was so tired, and I was not thinking clearly. My brother was yelling at the cop “my sister is diabetic!” well this cop took me to the side and told me to be honest and it is not nice to lie to cover for anyone. and that my daddy was going to jail! I freaked out at that point and pulled the insulin out of my pocket and showed the cop my dad was not on drugs…I even showed him my medical alert bracelet. They called my mom and she confirmed and gave them my Dr’s# so they could look it up. They let us go about an hour later. But my dad almost went to jail for having syringes in the car for his diabetic daughter. We never stashed needles there again lol but it was funny the next day and we still laugh about it.

8

Hello Sara:

Where do you “hide em” now prey tell… LOL ? Great story…

Stuart

9

I’m just curious, Brock. Why are you on Lantus AND Novolog? I use the Lantus SoloStar pen needle, solely. so I have this picture of you carrying around TWO pens, for Lantus AND Novolog! I understand that Novolog is sort of like a booster used just before meals. Am I wrong? Or do you use the vials? Educate me, would you please?
Chaplain ET.

10

Hello Chrissy:



Hysterical story… thanks for sharing!!! Amused sigh… (no clown, she was doing LEGAL drugs that she really, really did not want to…)

MORE, MORE…

11

The young thirty-something family were staying for dinner. The young boy was going into first grade in the fall. A diabetic since diapers, his parents had done their best. They had been frightened when he screamed at their first injections. He squirmed like a worm or a hot road on a good day, and that was just changing his diapers. Injections were worse! He was older now of course, but nobody liked shots, ever.

An odd noise was coming from her office. She checked the chicken, it was ready to be served. She went in search for her husband, and their friends... dinner was ready. She turned the corner following the voices, the sound of the young boy shouting loudly was easy to find.

"...SPANK ME DADDY...... SPANK ME..." the boy said with a strange glee.

Puzzled, she knew they were doing his shot, a nurse for many years she had done more than a few herself.

"...COME ON DADDY, SPANK ME... HURRY UP..." Her husband came round the corner, she put her finger to her lips and whispered that dinner was ready.

She watched in amusement as the father took his hand and gently slapped the skin of his sons leg. The sting from his hand hiding the injection to come. The "spanking" delivered the injection was completely painless.

A "spanking" who knew, something to look forward to... ! (A true story)

12

I had naively thought that by not having my own kids, I wouldn't have to deal with things like babies teething on my tubing, sneaking snacks because I don't have enough to share and I need food NOW, and trying to simplify the words and explanations for that fun "toy" in my pocket that you are NOT EVER allowed to touch, and why I have two belly buttons and one of them even moves around....

Babysitting for my best friend one day, her kids were not-yet-crawling and just-turned three. I've got "dinner" ready, the table is set, one kid is in a high chair chowing down on frozen blueberries and I sit down and pull out my glucometer to test before we eat. The three-year old wants to know what I'm doing, so I explain that I'm testing my blood to see if I need to add medicine via my "special belly button" ((a term she came up with on her own during the "let me see everybody's belly button" stage), aka pump infusion site). She's seen me check before, and its always exciting because the glucometer beeps and the pictures on the screen change, but this time she heads off into the bathroom and starts rummaging through all the drawers.
Fearing that she's going to try to dump all the drawers while I'm distracted putting my stuff away, I go ask her what she's up to and she is visibly upset and starts crying because she "can't find their blood tester, and she needs it to see if she has to take medicine so she wont get sick" (translated from crying garbled 3-year old, this was a big deal).

It was cute, but how to explain to the kid that first of all, our bunny-shaped mac'n'cheese is getting cold, and secondly, I'm the only one who has to test my blood without making myself sound either strange and different, or sick...?
Luckily her brother started squawking and since kids are easily distracted I was off the hook, at least this on this round....

13

Chuckling...

14

She was standing over me giggling mischievously. A bright sunny day, the kids not home from their friends for many hours. I was laying on the bed, and she pulled me to a sitting position.

She stifled her giggles.

"Hey you" she said lovingly, searching my eyes. "Welcome back" she said wrapping her arm around my shoulder. The dripping sweat clung to her skin through my shirt. "You have more songs for me", she smirked adoringly.

The last few minutes a wicked, vague haze.

"...What...." I said finding my voice, my thoughts slowly unscrambling. "...It was cute. You were singing some song, like a Disneyland actor on a crowded day..." No "dignity" in this low. I swallowed the remaining soda quickly, and blushed remembering some strange tune whispering in the back of my head.

Praying I went to find clear dry clothes, my wife whistling gently, teasing me...

15

This one waiter at a restaurant thought I was shooting up heroin...lol.
That gave me a really good laugh.
I was like, "Uhm yeah like I'd REALLY do it right out in the open!"

16

Toddy Toddy, Toddy....

Next time tell em "...that's NOT where you inject heroin IDIOT..." >8 >

17

The young nurse-receptionist came into the room.

"How long have you had dia-betes..." she asked sounding the word out phonetically.

"...How long have you had it...", she asked genuinely confused.

"My entire life", I answered, in no mood for such foolishness.

"...No really how long..." she asked in disbelief, I was playing a joke on her wasn't I?

"Every day"

"...of YOUR entire life..."

"Last time I checked, yes almost every single one in fact... What's the problem... " I asked with growing annoyance.

"...Shows here you are a Juvenile Diabetic..."

"...Yes... AND..." beginning to become more than a little irritated.

"...But... you're not a child, it's impossible..." she answered with medical authority.

"It was diagnosed as a child..." I responded. Silly was bordering on criminally incompetent real fast.

"...I am an adult now..."

"...so you're an Adult Onset..." she answered with relief scribbling her "corrections" furiously on my forms...

"...No, I am an adult now today, but had it as a child too..." I answered in disbelief

"...You were diagnosed as an adult."

""NO" I was diagnosed as a child."

"So how could you be an adult today..." genuinely confused.

"...How could you have graduated from any nursing program..." I just could not help myself. I had to say it.

I was saved by the entry of the "doctor" a moment later. But that is another story for another time.