Gang I am hardheaded. I sabotoge myself over and over again. I will eat things which I know will harm me. This is the first time I am amitting this. I appear to have a death wish but I want to live. I do not know if this eaven make sense. I know I need to get my head right. I am seeing my great-grands but what about my great-great grand childre. Thank you for giving me a format where I can vent.
Peaches, I feel the same way sometimes. Here is a post about taking small steps to better habit that I think is TRULY helpful
after reading this some time ago, I decided I needed to make my goal cutting out French Fries. I now have no problem watching others eating them, and I rarely have even one. Now I need to tackle Fried chicken!
You’ve made the admission and you’ve done it in public. That is probably the best thing you can do for yourself. You’ve acknowledged that you have this “habit”. Denial a rebellion are with us for a lot longer than we’d like to think and we go through the stages of grieving in different sequences. This shows that you’re coming around. Realize that this isn’t about total denial – diabetes isn’t like that anymore. This is about moderation and balance. Things like pizza require some math and an insulin pump to handle well. Portion size is one of the hardest things to get a handle on but it’s one of the most important.
Don’t expect that you’ll be teacher’s pet diabetic in two weeks. We are creatures of habit and we do like our comforts. Your on the bus now, so think about replacing items with fruit a veg. Try as a self challenge to strive to make the better, more healthy choice. Get a couple of those under your belt and if you should get off the bus for a little bit, you won’t be as guilty about it. Guilt is a problem. You did it, you got the high number from hit, and now you have to deal with it. But little by little you will be making healthy modifications and each success will build on the previous success. Go for several smaller victories that are attainable, the cumulative total will surprise you.
Acceptance can sometimes be a long time in coming. Once you hit that point, it becomes much easier. Get some patient education, learn about the disease a bit and it will help you be able to strategize. It is easier than you think.
I wish you the best and a bunch of great-great grand children for you to enjoy.
Thanks for all the comments. There are times when I want to scream, at others just resign myself to what it is. Now if my roommates wil stop bringing sweets in the house.