Go on throw me to the Lions

My setback is finally dawning on me taking the Beast Raffles on his word to toe the line and give me good blood sugar testing results was nothing more than a facade of lies thinking one days results is the beginning of a new era in my diabetes is just as it is one days results,the specialist who I saw was astonished that I had fallen so far and did not call for help but that is me all over know it all ignore the problem hoping it will go away then finding myself hanging on to dear life having fallen over the edge screaming help waiting waiting and still waiting as my fingers turn blue,so many of you have sent me messages of encouragement which as really helped me over the past few days,on top of the diabetes running riot the gout as seen me bed ridden feeling sorry for myself why me I keep asking then a voice answered well if not you who,and I would not like to pass on my troubles to anyone no matter how I feel.
It is a time for honesty with myself do I want to get better when I say better I mean better than I feel which is awful or do I just want to plod on hoping for a miracle cure sometime in the future providing it does not get the best of me and you know what?
As I sat here yesterday watching the Royal Wedding with my foot aching like a bear who has got his nose caught in the honey jar I watched our kids there kids all cheering and celebrating the wedding and I thought this is worth all the setbacks pain during my heart attack in 2004 the thought ran across my mind we have no grandchildren and I guess I will never see them if they come along but there I was yesterday 4 grandchildren running about and the fifth born last Tuesday in Mommy’s arms looking straight at me,is life love and the smile in a child’s eye worth waiting for.
After all the trouble Her Majesty has seen is is so nice for her to celebrate something nice in the family and I hope you are feeling better your Majesty after your recent illness.