Good Friday

For some of us good friday is a time to think of jesus the pain he had to go through and his reward at the end of it, I guess having a belief strenghens us at times when the world seems to be on our shoulders and all looks bleak, being depressed is like that you know there is a better world and the problems will solve themselves as long as we do not give in, but being strong is not one of my traits always been a worrier guess most of it is due to my childhood which I try to forget it holds painful memories loved mom but she had a temper which she took out of dad and if he was not about I always were, I still wake up some nights and mom is thrashing the daylights out of me.

Was I naughty child who knows who cares I was a child hunger and poverty were a way of life but as a child you do not know any better, mom passed on some time ago and I held her hand as she passed away her second husband Bill had died 7 days eariler so I guess mom thought her world had come to an end.

Telling your mom it is ok to go we will all be ok still brings tears to my eyes, as much as mom knocked 10 bells out of me the more I loved her, to my shame I did not go and visit her for over 10 years I guess I get my moods and depression from mom the trouble with genes is you cannot change them they come with you to life.

Hope I am not depressing you too much but better to get it off my chest and try to enjoy Good Friday, am I special no way anyone with depression goes through hell at times perhaps this is hell and a better life awaits us bring it on

Ramundow