So there is this guy.. we are really close with each other and i love how it's going. He's so cool about my diabetes, it worries me. He is being too cool about it(if that makes sense). I keep asking him if it freaks him out or if it worries him and he always response with 'its not your fault, it's nothing you did or didn't do which caused u to have diabetes, its a part of u'. But the other day he made a comment (on my 8th year anniversary) about "when i get better"....... it hurt when he said this. I know deep down that it's just because he doesn't fully understand, i wouldn't either if i was him. There's still aspects of diabetes I don't understand.
Educate, let him understand and participate...partners that are looking forward to a promising relationship will most likely be willing to. Let him read the contents of TuDiabetes...be a part of it. Maybe by that way, he can truly appreciate that though we are all looking forward for a cure in the future, we can live a normal, healthy, wonderful life with so much to offer...Best wishes!
While we were dating . 37 years ago, my wife accepted my disease as just being part of me. That can be tough to get used too. It is a bit frightening, but consider it as a positive emotion from him to you. After all diabetes is part of us and to love us you have accept the disease. Because it is not going anywhere.
I agree with Teena, that he might be saying he is looking forward to the day when there is an ultimate cure. I personally have never had such a fantasy and you might be a bit like me. Which means that such a statement might be upsetting. We all would like an ultimate cure. Maybe it is just our make up, but we have to allow that other folks might have different opinions.
Best of luck, he sounds like a great guy!!
Thanks, He is a great guy! I am going to show him tu diabetes and an article i have found on diabetic women and dating!
I too have been promised a "cure in 5 years" by well meaning folks (some of them in the medical industry). Some of these promises were 30+ years ago. I know better than to expect it to be true, but maybe they really believed it, and if this little positive fantasy of theirs helps them by being one step on their road to acceptance that I have diabetes, then it's not the worst thing in the world.
I do agree it can be frustrating at times. If co-workers, or distant family, or someone I barely know, thinks that I'll be cured soon then I can handle it. But if my wife thought I would be cured soon? Or implied that I wasn't working hard enough to cure myself? That would be too close to home.
It did hurt when he said it. but i kept thinking about it and have come to the conclusion its just because he didnt quite understand the whole diabetic thing..
The worst thing someone could ever say 'if i was a diabetic i would do this and my readings would be perfect' i swear i could knock someone out when they say this. No one really understands how hard it is to get the 'perfect' BSL unless they are a T1D or live with a T1D.
My family has an inside joke about these comments. When people come out to our cabin, they might say,"if I had a cabin, I would have it on the lakefront" - ours is three houses off the lakefront, which is still sought after, and they must not realize they are dissing what we DO have in reality by one-upping us in their fantasy -especially when they are guests in our very real home! What works best for me to think that they are trying on a hat, a very luxurious one, and that they are comfortable enough with us to share their dreams with us... and that there is some unrecognized jealousy about what we do have.
My father-in-law had a great saying: those who show up run the world. Give yourself credit that you are dealing with the realities of the disease day in and day out and NO ONE knows the challenges as well as you do!