Hello Again

Ok. So its been forever since I’ve posted. My life has been a crazy mess of random ingredients thrown into a rusty blender.

My Life Now:
SF got way too expensive and I was running myself dry with school and work. So now I’m back in Stockton, CA living with my parents. Hurray for me. I’m going to lessen my unit load at school (and hopefully take more on-line courses) and I don’t have a job, currently. I’m trying not to stress myself out about it because I have plenty of time (a year) to settle in and find a job and all that fun stuff.

My Health:
I have to say that for the past two-ish years out of the 8ish (maybe) years I’ve been diabetic have been terrible on the healthy scale. While living in SF I gained some weight and my blood sugars have definitely not been as good as they should be. By any means. Lets just say 300’s are normal around these parts and a 101 is a rare find. Not to mention I have terrible eating habits. Particularly because I don’t have habits. I just do things most of the time. Or don’t do things. Like go to the doctor. I haven’t seen the diabetic doctor lady since October. Mostly because her staff was really rude to me, but also because it was a huge pain in my rear to ask for the time off work and get there via public transit.

My Hopes:
Now that I’m home, I’m hoping to regulate myself a bit. I’m going to find a new doctor (soon, because I don’t have much insulin or strips left =/). I also want to regulate what I eat and when, because at this point, I pretty much eat however much I want and whenever I want to do so. My parents are on a diet, so I’m hoping that their determination will rub off on me a little. Already, I’m eating lunch (which is a new concept) at a regular time (also new). I might want to see a dietitian of sort to maybe help me out a little. I also want to get a gym membership as soon as I get a job so I can start exercising on a more regular basic.

My Commitments:
I want to make some commitments now, here in writing so I have something to look back on. This is also a new step because I am not much of the goal-oriented type.

I am committing myself to achieve better blood sugars. This is a commitment to my body, my soul and my life. As I get older, I realize that this is my life and ignoring it isn’t going to change it. I probably should have realized this sooner, and later on in life, I might have to pay some dire consequences, but there isn’t anything I can do now but to improve. By making this commitment, I commit to checking my blood sugars more frequently (meaning more than 0-2 times per day). I commit to regular eating habits (breakfast, lunch, dinner and a couple of healthy snacks in between). I also commit to healthier eating habits (no McDonnalds cheeseburgers 3-5 times a week). I commit to becoming more active both physically and mentally. I commit to keeping up with my appointments. Any and all doctor appointments, no matter how badly I don’t want to go to the dentist.

I commit to myself, my health, and my life. Period.

My Thanks:
My thanks go out to many people. My mother, most of all. The years in which I have been diagnosed with diabetes have been hard on her. I know she worried about me and my heath, especially what damage I may be doing to my body by not taking care of myself. My dad, for always keeping me in mind and those cute random “check your blood sugar, love dad” text messages. I may not have always taken the advice like I should, but it did make me think about myself. Also very much of my thanks goes to my boyfriend, Joey. He, more than almost anyone has dealt with my trials and my tears. My thanks go out for reminding me to take care of myself and for always encouraging me to do better. (I’m sorry for all of the times I’ve lashed out at you for just trying to be there for you.) I always appreciate you.

My thanks also go out to you for reading this. Even if you don’t leave a message, your silent encouragement and support resounds in my mind and my heart.

Last Note:
Happy Birthday Joey!

Time to get off the pot …as you said : it takes commitment …be well . N.