So why do I still feel I should have done better?
In my opinion, that is such a loaded question, Karen. In my 31 years of experience with this, I find my enthusiasm, my patients, my perfectionism (or is it my OCD?) my anger, my frustration , and my denial: ebb and flow.
I sometimes feel if I can pound the daylights out of this disease – really beat it into the ground I will have 2 things: CONTROL and CONTROL. I am not trying to be funny, but I have though a long time about this and it seems like if I can really control this I can beat it, and in my mind that means I won’t be diabetic anymore. The moons and stars align occasionally and I do get A1c’s down to 6.4…… sometimes…….
The problem is that there are so many variables, and you can do exactly the same things 2 times in a row and you will get different results. This adds anger and frustration for me because I will feel less in control and farther from beating the ‘beetus.
Rejoice when you feel good. Don’t fret disappointment because you will have some, I strive for happiness in my life and a kind of a sustainable relationship with diabetes. I can go to war, but it is very tiring. =)
Nice job on the A1c! many happy years to you!