Home


#1

I have lived in Houston,TX for 2 years. But this is not my home. It is almost 3am and I am wishing that when i walk out of the apt. at 8am I will be back in Arlington. How much i long for a hug for a caring friend that doesnt care what time it is or what is going on or that I have to go to school in a couple hrs all they care is that I am there and I am thier friend. I am fighting back tears and depression and hoping that i wont be homesick anymore. As Chris Daughtry is singing in my ear. I pray that everything will be alright. I miss my dad!!!!!! I miss my brothers!!!!! I just want to go HOME!!!!!!!!! I was trying to look up pictures of my home town but nothing. The stress of school is too much. I even miss the police! I have never been this homesick! I MISS EVERYTHING! I miss the traffic I miss the familer I-20 signs. I used to wish that I did not live in Dallas/Ft. Worth and more but that is all I can think about. I am tried of school. I just want to pick up my purse and drive the 6 hrs home. I miss the news the radio stations the... everything. Everyone here is telling me not to worry that everything will turn around and will be okay. But it wont not until I am home. My family and most of my friends are tired of me calling them everyday but what they dont know is that i am doing that to just get that hole of "home" filled in. Please lord dont let this feeling go on any longer. Most of the people in my classes are from Houston and have lived here all their lives. But not me. When they ask me what the matter I tell them I am homesick they tell me that they were when they were 5 and a summer camp (in houston) for the first time the were homesick. I am not trying to down play them at all but this is not the same. Home is what I long for every second. I even dream about being back in Arlington. We used to go back all the time. It has been almost a year since I have seen my family. I am even willing to be yelled at by my family. I just want to have someone hug me and acctually care. Not hug me because they feel like they have too. My doctor tell me my depression is because of the stress of school. But it is not... it is because I miss home. I miss someone hugging me. We moved to Houston for 2 reasons the military(when my dad got back from IRAQ he was transferred here.) and for me to get a fresh start. But at this point I am willing to have everyone know about my past as long as I can see people I know and that care about me. My mom does not want me to tell my family that my brother is doing drugs again but how am I supposed to get support. She sends me to a therapist but my problem is she is having me keep a HUGE secret from the people that could relate and that care (not care because I am paying them to care but care because they are right there with me). It was okay when every knew about my problems but it is not okay when they know about Will's. I just want a hug from a family member that is not my mom. I know that might sound bad but I dont mean it like that. I just want someone to know how I feel... I see my mom everyday. I get a hug from her everyday. I just want some other human contact other then hand shakes and "pat on the back" hugs. I want a REAL HUG! I want my family my friends my nephews. That is all I want... and not for a couple hrs how about a couple days, months, or better yet years!


#2

I’m sorry you’re having a hard time.

I am from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, but am living a zillion miles away in Taipei, Taiwan, and I struggle with a lot of the things you mentinoed-the familiarities, family, and that feeling of friends being there for you and things being familiar and safe.

I hope you come through this okay. I am thinking of you.


#3

Hi Emily, thanks for adding me as a friend. I hope you are feeling better. Being away from home can be so hard, even if home is a tough place to be. Is there maybe a campus church you could check out? When I feel lonely, it helps me to be reminded that God is always there for me, and you might find some friends there as well. I’m a lot older than you, but two of my closest friends were considering moving recently. I’m one of those who tends to not have a lot of friends, but the ones I have are very close and dear to me. So the thought of two of them moving away really rocked my world. Only one of them is moving, but it has made me realize I need to make more effort at finding a few more friends. It does take effort, doesn’t it? Oh, and many thanks to your dad for serving our country!