Hospitals,Patients &Poems

Poems I wrote remembering some of my patients

The girl

Shoug is a little adopted girl,
puzzled by her surname
Her adopting Dad’s name
does not match the name
they call her at school.

Shoug is puzzled
She is irritable
She hears things
She cannot understand.

She asked her adopting Mum,
Does father has two names?
Her adopting mother said yes,
And when
proudly the seven year old girl
told the whole school about
her dad’s two names
The school teachers wickedly laughed.

Shoug had diabetes few months back,
she did not tell the school about it
She heard her mother
tell her father
behind closed doors,
My dear tell no body
or no body will ever
marry our dear little Shoug

So Shoug kept the secret
Because she loves like all little girls
to get married
one day

Shoug was admitted in DKA
The teacher,
would not
let her go to the bathroom
Shoug, who is diabetic
wet her self in the class room,
and she became
the outcast of the school.

Lying in bed
with her back to me
her sadness was too much for her,
her despair was bigger than her
My heart sank
Her depression was ahead of mine.
As an old woman
it is ok for me to feel depressed
But as a little 7 year old
It is killing to feel that way.

I gave Shoug a hug
I taught her how to face the world
I gave her my very cherished
Teddy bear

Shoug came yesterday to my clinic
with a beautiful present for me
A valentine red bottle of girlish perfume
I could not say no
I bought her another teddy bear
from the flower shop
And she gave me a hug

17-1-2007

Contradictory

Leaving early
before sun rise
The sky is spectacular
Listening to Quran in the car,
The roads are still quite
I start my daily journey
To my work

I love this time of day,
When morning
walks
away from night
And day light is stepping up
To complete illumination

I longed to see your light God
When earth is illuminated
with your light one day
But your presence fills my presence
And your light fills my heart
A great bless from
You

Arriving to my beloved hospital
I passed the soft drink machine
Knowing
she is staring at me

The bl…machine shouted loudly
Good morning dear doctor
I so heard that
The entire nation celebrated
National milk day
And on TV, all talked about milk
And ignored me

Over my shoulder I said
Do not worry my dear
Because we only talk and
Say what we do not do.

The bl….machine shouted
Why you hate me so much?
I said,
Is not enough
The adorable beautiful
Miss Nancy Agram
Loves
You

I walked away
But I heard the bl…thing muttering
Doctor you are jealous of me
Because
No one loves you

Stepping into my world
The aroma of fresh coffee
greeted me
The flower shop still closed
Oh, if the adorable Asian man
will let me arrange his shop,
his profits sure will be
much more

He sells in our hospital
teddy bears
but
teddy bears
are not allowed as a print
on our patients 'gowns
So the dress code says

Shoug recovered
from her depression
when she had
my "thinking of you"
Teddy bear
My dearest son
bought me
The thinking of you
Teddy bear,
saying look after yourself dear mother
And he left to American college
in Dubai
Though American goods
are every where and
trade in trillions
But no American colleges are allowed
on ground
And our dear children
for sake of good education
have to travel and leave their mothers
with "Thinking of you Teddy Bears

22-1-2007

She was not worth more than two gold bracelets

Nadia, a five year old
came from picnic in the desert
one Friday
straight
to ventilator
She had never been diagnosed

The father came to visit every evening
and when the beautiful nurse
changed her shifts
The father
changed his visiting hours

The mother never visited

The father was told
Nadia is not going to make it
So the mother came one evening
And straight to Nadia’s wrist
She slipped the golden bracelets
and
Put them in her purse
and left.
No final hug for Nadia
No final kiss

Next day Nadia quietly
Left
Nadia left without a final hug
Or a kiss from her Mum.

This is the girl who was worth
two golden bracelets only
for her mother

10-3-2007

Sad but happy

She sat drawing her feelings
She wanted to draw
Happy though sad
She could not

She looked around her
Here were three doves
Drinking from a small poodle
On the road
A passer bye scared them away
They flew to the top of the building
She spotted them up there
She did not feel easy about three doves
Where is the fourth?

She looked away and spotted
A very beautiful tree
Hundred of bare branches
All in prayer sign
And then come the leaves
She wanted to sit under the tree
And see the blue sky
Through the hundred bare branches
But passers bye stared at her
So she walked away

On maternity hospital’s entrance
She spotted a couple going home
With their newborn
She did not feel complete happiness
There
Behind the scene
Someone was left out
With a big sad

She walked pass the maternity hospital
Walking to rehabilitation hospital
She spotted a young man
In his wheel chair
Going inside
On his way
He flirted with hundred girls
And exchanged niceties with nurses
A nurse shouted, we heard
You get engaged to three girls
He said you will be the fourth
And there will be
A mass wedding for four
He stopped by the coffee shop
And ordered a tall
She spotted sadness in his eyes
Though he distributed happiness
On his way

She walked round the park
The tall hugging trees
Looked so beautiful
But sad
Why sad
She did not know
She feared her sadness is contagious
She wished if she will disappear
Every body stares at her
This sad old woman
What is wrong with her?
Why she throws her sadness on
Them all

She felt ashamed
Today she will go
And bury her sadness
In the deepest hole
In her heart
And cover it with heaps
Of happy smiles
So no one will spot
Sad
She will show HAPPY on her face
Though deep down in her heart
She feels really
Sad

22-4-2007

Arcades, Fountains and Hugging Trees

The hospital fountains
The arcades
The hugging beautiful trees
The chief therapeutic trees

Treasures in our city……

The arcades overlooking the fountains,
Spectacular show display
Different kind of shades
Half moon
Quarter moon
Different kind of shades

Every day
I do different kind of rounds
At different times of day
Registering in my mind
What sort of shades
In the arcade,
At certain time of day.
Wishing if nursery children
Come for a journey
Hopping in and out
Of different kind of shades
In the arcade,
Naming the half moon
Another kind of name

Visiting
The Big Hugging Trees
Imitating them with spread arms
Laughing asking their teacher
Why it is called a hugging tree

The teacher will tell them
Do not raise your voices
The tree
Is working
Healing sick patients
She is a therapeutic chief tree.

The nursery children
Walked very quietly
They whispered to each other
Hush
The Doctor Tree,
And loudly they will laugh
They never heard of
A doctor tree.

They went through the park
Hopping
Singing
The Doctor Tree
The Doctor Tree
The teachers were talking
They let the nursery children sing loudly
The
Doctor Tree
The Doctor Tree

30-1-2007

He swore he will never get born & he hid behind black thick clouds

Genetic clinic
Next
Five micro cephalic mentally subnormal boys
Marched in
All dressed alike
Long sleeved checked shirts
And long trousers
Hugging their upper chests
All carrying the same smile
As if they all rehearsed
For a performance
Before coming
Reminded me of chorus boys

They marched in
With their dear mum and dad
A loving very patient couple
The dad loved his wife
He never blamed her,
He understood
In autosomal recessive disease
Both share the responsibility
And after all
We all submit to whatever
God will send us

The geneticist told them they are doing great
With this adorable punch of trainable
Though not educatable
Kids
And of course now they stopped
Wanting to have any more kids

The adorable happy wife claimed
She is pregnant
Her husband looked dreamily at her
She said they are praying
Day and night
To have this time a normal kid
A normal kid to look after
His five brothers
When they get old or gone

But the normal kid
Hid behind thick clouds
And swore million times
He will never get born
He is not up to it
He can’t take care of five brothers
And still more to come

The normal child swore
He will never get born
And hid behind black thick clouds

13-3-2007

She was his mind, he was her sight, the wholesome couple

Genetic clinic,
next
referral from infertility clinic

Down the corridor, him, wasted facial muscles
no facial expression
and abnormal gait
Holding her hand
a shorter overweight,
covered totally in black

Myotonia dystrophica and retinitis pigmentosa
She was his mind
He was her sight
The wholesome couple

A fellow working with the best genetist ever
I signed them off in a second
Not a suitable couple
to have a child

My great teacher finished with them
and wrote in her note
Back to infertility clinic
and
Please help the wholesome couple
to have a child

I kept quiet
We finished the long clinic
and we walked slowly to the dinning room
and over coffee and fruits
She started telling me a story

She taught me telling stories

Back home in Syria
roamed the poor neighborhood
A beautiful fair but
mentally handicapped girl
Her elderly parents
could not lock her in
so they told every body in the neighborhood
to keep an eye on her
till her poor old father
comes every evening to fetch
her home

She grew to be a beautiful sixteen year old girl
But regrettably
her mind did not grew

Suddenly the girl disappeared
and in few months
the neighborhood sadly
buried her
She left a beautiful boy
For old grand dad and grand mum
to raise alone

The neighborhood swore
this time no evil will touch
the boy
They felt guilty they did not protect his mum
and from then on
he was the sunshine of the neighborhood
he was sort of adopted son to all

He grew to be a very caring family doctor
taking care of all his adopting mums and dads

My great teacher, her sweet voice still ringing in my mind
Please do your best to give
the whole some couple
a child

12-3-2007

حكاية بنت اسمها زهرة

طالعيني و حدقي في قلبي
زهرتي
وقعت في غرامك
عمرك بألف عمر
وعمر
حدقي والجسد
ما هو الجسد
والعظام
كسور منكسرة
وآه و الورم
هل لعنت الورم
أم لم تتعلمي بعد
الغضب

والمشي هل تتذكري
قدميك
والجرى
ونط
الحبل
هل تتذكري تسلق
الدرج
والكلام
حد
السفه
ضحكات مجنونة
مع
أخوتك

زهرتي طالعيني
وعمري كله
منك
يخجل
و عند قدميك يجلس
و يركع
يطلب منك غفرانا
يطلب أن تقبلي
ما تبقى منه
هدية متواضعة
عمر على وصول
لخط النهاية
نهاية
تنتظره
لتبدأ بدايات
و بدايات
وآه من بدايات
في المجهول
وعتمته

زهرتي ألعن الورم
أم ألعن من؟
غاضبة بدلا منك
وأنت
لست بغاضبة
منكسرة
أنت؟
قلبي تحطم لرؤيتك
وحل في ساحاته
حزن
على
حزن
آه ليالي الحزن زهرتي
يولد منها
ألف حزن
وحزن

29-9-2009