How do you avoid stress in this situation?

They tell us that when we have diabetes we should avoid stress… My doctor keeps critisizing me because my blood sugars have been high in the past… I keep telling her it’s stress and she keeps saying then use the stress avoidance tactics. Ha! that’s a real laugh.

Over the last couple of years I’ve had so much stress I’m surprised I’m functioning at all.

In less than a year I’ve lost three people who I loved very much… One of them being my ex husband… although not loving him as a partner… I spent 25 years with him and loved him as the father of my children. He died last July on my son’s birthday… In Scotland! He was electricuted at work.

Living here in the USA, I had to fly back to Scotland to help plan his funeral… the plane ride alone was stressful enough but I won’t go into that. To see my children although grown up grieving and not knowing what to do was bad enough… To have it happen so suddenly was devastating to them.

Last month my long time school friend and aunt died within 10 weeks of finding she had inoperable Cancer… she died just 5 days after her 52nd birthday… Today in the early hours of this morning… my uncle her husband died after having a car accident.

I’m here in the USA and can’t get over to be with my mom as my insulin therapy hasn’t got me to a stable condition yet… a 10 hour plane ride and two trains and a bus ride away from my mom is too far for me to do just now… I’m scared of going too low and travelling alone is not an option for me.

I know my stress levels will go up again… are up again… I’ve been doing so good too over the past month… Each time I get on the right track something comes along and knocks me right back down again… it’s left me wondering if there will ever be a window of calm.

Denise I’m so sorry you have experienced such grief in such a short period of time. You have been through a lot which is stressful. Just my opinion if your doctor doesn’t understand you need to change doctors. This dr. you have is adding to your stress when under stress you try to manage the things you can. Managing your Diabetes is the priority. I know being with loved ones is important but since you can’t fly at this time try to manage the enotions you feel because of that. We here at Tu understand and we are only a keyboard away. I hope you find some relief and are able to calm down and give yourself the attention you need…take care.

Dear Denise…oh sweetie, I am so very sorry to hear about the lose of your loved ones. I know how that is, and the stress and heartache it does bring. I wish I had an answer for you. My Blood Sugars go sky high as well with stress. The only thing that seems to help me is having somebody to talk to, that can lend a shoulder to cry on and words of love and support and understanding. If you need somebody to talk to that has been in your shoes, please feel free to private email me and I would be more then happy to call you, and well, just listen if it would help.

Thanks Betty J and Robyn for your support… These three losses are just the tip of the iceberg to what has been happening over the last couple of years. But the stress they cause does raise my blood sugar. To top it also if I’m honest, I feel a little guilty because I’m not able to support my mom physically from being so far away and she has noone else to turn to… I’m an only child, my mom has no partner, hasn’t had one since I was a small child… Her nearest brother… the one that’s left now lives over 100 miles away from her and is not a well man himself… I get annoyed with myself now because I feel I can’t help her when she needs me to and now she really needs my help and support. She’s always been there for me, so I feel I’m letting her down. When I was first diagnosed with diabetes and I was on the tablets only, dropping everything and going to help her physically was much less of a problem. Now I’m on the insulin, it’s much more of a problem because of the lows I get. Silly really but I also feel cross with myself, the situation and the Universe because all of this has come at the wrong time… as if people can chose to have a right time to die… I keep wishing that I was further on with my therapy… that I was more stable… I know I’m capable of making the trip alone in normal circumstances and with all the insulin and needles that I need to carry… the fear is that if the stress gets too high, I might miss the fact that I haven’t eaten or taken in enough food whilst traveling or that I might not have taken a pill or two and that, that will cause a low… and if I’m alone and pass out along the way I might end up adding to my moms worries and not helping at all… so in that respect I am better staying here at home rather than galavanting over to the UK, trying personally to be a help and support and failing miserably. I have tried to rally the troups as it may be, for support. I’ve contacted my son who is going to try and get time off work to go and support my mom for a couple of weeks until after the funeral. He however, lives over 550 miles away from her and the roads being very different in the UK than here, it will take him over 12 hours to drive. To add to the worries of my mom, she is due to go in to hospital for a Cancer op in a couple of weeks, so the stress she must be feeling is phenominal… and once again I can’t be with her to help her during her recovery. There are no answers or solutions to avoiding this stress… I just wish whoever the powers may be, would let up on the volume for a while… give us breathing space and allow us to have no more drama for a while. I guess some peoples lives are just chaotic… mine certainly seems to be, with no let up. It doesn’t help though when you’re being told to use stress diversion tactics when you know that no diversion tactics can help this type of stress…

Thanks for being there guys… Love you all. xxxx

Denise I don’t know if you’ve ever consulted with a Certified Diabetes Educator (CDE) who will be able to help you get a handle on better management of your bs. In the 1990s my Endo referred me to a CDE who opened a whole new world for managing my Diabetes after 40 years. Today’s management has helped me to live a better live then the previous 40 years. Educators are located all over the U.S. some are based in hospitals and some have preivate practices. Here’s the link to help you find one in your area