How do you say "NO" to people?

I have friends who are pushers, either food or medication (yes I said medication) Please check out my blog for further details.

But, for now, and short answers…when people try to push food, information, medications, OTC meds, etc at you how do you respond? My departed mother would say, "Be kind, and simply say “no thank you”.
Well in these cases it doesn’t work, I’ve had to stand my ground and say “NO thank you, that’s yours, this is mine, please don’t ask again”.

I don’t want to hear your horror stories, I don’t want to hear your miracle stories either. I don’t need to know that your Harvard educated doctor is wiser than my CNP. I don’t need to hear that my meds and plan can ruin my life…I trust my docs, I trust my team, and I trust me. So why do people seem to think that people with life-long diseases can’t think for themselves anymore? AND on top of all that, these people are in my boat, they are or have diabetes too.

What’s the answer, how do you deal with pushers?

By saying: “Thanks for caring. I trust my doctors & I’m doing very well thanks to their guidance.” For the people who still go on anyway: “I don’t wish to discuss this.” That ends the conversation for pushers I’ve encountered.

I only take what my doctor prescribes for me. Or for the pushy ones. What part of no don’t you understand?

I’m continually amazed at how people think they know better than you, your doc or other medical professional. I would say exactly what your mom said, no thank you, and walk off.

As for the meds, are these people pharmacists and licensed to dispense medications? If not, they’r breaking the law. Maybe you should do a citizen’s arrest. Hmmm, that has me thinking.

Step one: “No, thank you.”

Step two: Repeat, or “I appreciate your concern, but I’ve got it under control.”

Step three: “Really, no thanks.”

Step four: The Nuclear Option.

Terry

agreed be nice until it’s time not to be nice.they mean well but if they can’t take ahint said it LOUDER

While there are a lot of people with our disease that don’t seem to think for themselves, you’re here asking questions and learning more about Diabetes, so you’re obviously not one of them.

People who are uneducated are exactly those who pretend to tell others that their herbal remedies or other medications (prescription or over the counter) are all they need to cure whatever ails them, or to cure their Diabetes… This is not only ignorant, but dangerous, as they ignore what health professionals keep in mind – our personal health stats as patients, and the other medications we are taking that could have potential interactions (because even herbal remedies can interact with some medications).

So… Just practice being a more forceful person, I guess… :slight_smile:

“Thank you for your concern, but I already have a well established health plan with my medical team, and I could not take anything else without their consent.”

“I’m so glad that you have a well-educated doctor… Just remember, a good doctor is one that is good in practice, continuous education and bedside manner, not so much in his diploma. Even the Unabomber was Harvard Educated.”

“I appreciate your concern, but I do not want to discuss my health plan with you. I leave that for the real medical professionals.”

Sure, they’ll get upset with these replies… But upset enough not to bother you anymore. lol It’s their ego talking, really, so when you address that (and don’t focus so much on what they’re saying), than it’ll go away. lol

I will usually say; " I have one of the best and most able medical practitioners who handle my condition, and they are doing a pretty good job"…“but thank you so much for your concern…” (with a smile)
When they persist:
I say the same thing…just remove the smile…

I actually have a bit of a different take on this. I have two friends with Type 2 diabetes, one has just recently been put on an older basal insulin, (after at least a year or two of numbers regularly in the 200s) with no bolus and is not being asked to test his post prandials. The other one is on a sliding scale method of bolus and knowing how he eats I was surprised when he said he was “almost always under 120” until I realized he doesn’t test after meals so that number is just before meals and fasting. I have a brother who is pre-diabetes and showing similar signs as I did of being LADA, who lost weight with little effort and doesn’t test his blood sugar “because I don’t have diabetes”. I struggle with what to say and what not to say to these people. I’ve settled on giving them the relevant information one time (in one case I did it by e-mail with no request for response) and then biting my tongue the rest of the time. They have my input and now it’s up to them what they do with it. So thanks for reminding me how they might feel when I give them unwanted information, information that contradicts what their doctors might have told them or information they’re just not ready for. I’m not at all implying that you are in the same situation of ignoring important information, but just that we are all in different places and make different choices. I’m sure the people giving you input really believe their way is the right way and want to help. On the other hand as everyone else is saying, you are the one to decide for you.

Food: {1st offer} No thank you. I did not plan for that item or more than I’ve eaten when I took my insulin. Thank you for offering.

Food: {2nd offer} No thank you. If I did, I’d get very sick, and a visit from the Fire Department Paramedics is the kind of excitement we can all live without.

Food: {3rd offer} No, thank you, and that’s my final answer.

Medicine (I get this all the time from well-meaning relatives):

1.) I’d be happy to give you my doctor’s number - although she keeps current with the latest reputable medical research.
2.) {Chuckle} My doctor and I have an agreement: I don’t practice medicine and she doesn’t (insert your vocation here).
3.) {notice their most obvious medical flaw} Hey, thanks! Mind if I suggest a good {obesity clinic/psychiatrist/face lift specialist/mortician}?
4.) {chuckle} Actually, I’d rather make an appointment with Dr. Kevorkian than to follow advice like that.

I often answer people with a “Thank you, I’ll take that under advisement”. They feel like they’ve been heard, and I can accept their advice or not on my own terms.

I’d try nice once. Then I’d do my usual bottom line. “No. I don’t want to talk about this ever again.”

my approach, well my friends are alot more open about my diabetes. I use humor alot to dimiss any negativity, i just remember to tell them i can eat whatever i want as long as i cover it. Then i tell stuff like i only eat 50 carbs a meal, so i can’t have 150 carbed whatever (usually amazed by this). If its somebody i don’t know i usually smile coyly and then make a joke, but if there really making me mad i will say back off. I haven’t really had that situtaion yet, i have been silent before. It does make me mad when people push. Nothing wrong with saying I’ll run it by my doc thanks, but if there really bad annoying then lay the law down and say it bothers you can we drop it. Good luck!!

I put a great big smile on my face and say…

“Are you trying to kill me?”

The questions brings the seriousness of their reckless, thoughtless and careless behavior to the front. The big smile keeps them wondering if I am joking and kind of diffuses the moment.

ding ding winner :slight_smile:

Gerianne, I love it. I am so very good at doing the nicey thing, and making it hit the point. My =professors years ago used to call it South Dakota Dumb…with great respect of course. I’m using it.

Some pushy people don’t understand “NO”… It’s not apart of their vocabulary… Sometimes you just have to say flat out, ok “Mind Your Own Business”! Friends don’t realize that when they do this, they are saying I am not competent enough to take care of myself, and that’s why I have diabetes. And despite absolutely no medical training or background, people feel it’s an appropriate thing to do!

Sometimes what it really is about fighting unproven belief systems, myths and folklore, with nothing to back it up with!! Kinda like when back-in-the-days, Vick’s vapor rub was supposed to cure everything!! And there was no amount of proof that would convince them otherwise… LOL… Like I’ve always said, the comments aren’t really about us, it’s really about them!!

I argue with them till I prove they’re wrong,or the usual one,till they’re bored out of me ^______________^

hahahaha! My mom still uses Vicks vapor rub for everything… lol

I’ve dealt a lifetime with know alls and know nothings and will continue till I die so don’t let them stress you. Find an answer that’s comfortable for you and just brush them aside life’s too short for trival people.