Yesterday I was talking to the spouse of a recently diagnosed diabetic and realized this situation was a mess. I was hoping you might give me some ideas how either of us could talk with him.
Here are the facts:
He is 50 years old and was diagnosed just over a year ago with type II diabetes. He is 6 foot 230 pounds and smokes tobacco and marijuana fairly regularly. He is on metformin for the diabetes, hydrochlorothiazide for high blood pressure and Avandia for chol/high blood pressure. Also takes Zanax for mild depression.
His last visit to the doctor was not good and his doctor said his a1c was “out of control”. His youngest daughter is 18 and his oldest grand-child is 3.
The wife came to me asking about life insurance coverage because she seriously fears he won’t last to retirement. She says her discussions typically border on him saying that he can handle it with just diet and exercise, but she says his drinking hasn’t diminished at all.
I would appreciate any options that people have tried or heard have worked that might pertain to this situation. I think it is early enough this could be fixed, but I’m stumped at how to help.
Thanks,
Tom
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Tom Hinerman is a life insurance advocate for diabetics and publishes the website The Life Insurance Agency.
Sounds like there is underlying depression and anxiety involved here. He needs to work with a good therapist to get at these underlying feelings why he doesn’t feel good about himself. Therapy can be hard work and demanding but it can pay huge benefits. He has to feel better about himself to get his diabetes in check. Therapy could help give some small goals too for him.
Without wanting to feel better about himself it is unlikely he will want to do better with his diabetes management.
Perhaps an intervention with his friends could help. Perhaps his wife should talk to a professional also for ideas. More important though is for his wife to watch for that cry for help from him. Exercise can help alot to for underlying depression. This is a tough one because there are alot of issues going on here. Good Luck
I’m with Pauly on the therapist. The man is in denial, and honestly, nothing will change his way of thinking. He has to do it himself. The more his family pushes, the more stubborn he will become. Maybe his family could call the ADA and get some brochures sent to the house? A good support group might help too. If he won’t go, his wife should. She can change the way they eat at home, if she’s the primary chef.
I equate a diagnosis of diabetes like an addiction. You need to reach your own bottom in order to motivate yourself to do something. I was so anal about my management when I was first diagnosed in 1996, then I fell off the wagon for a while. I’m back on now, because I want to be, not because someone told me to do it. I wasn’t terrible, but no where near doing what I should be for me.
History of diabetes in the family? I’ve known many type 2s who have this “death wish” for lack of a better term. If a family member died of diabetes or a complication, they don’t see any other way out for them. I don’t understand the way of thinking, but I’ve found it more often than I thought imaginable.
Good luck to the family, they’re going to need some help. You’re thoughtful for trying to help.
