I hate Christmas more than the Green Grinich

Seven years ago, my mother died from Lung Cancer, right after Christmas. How did we know it would be her last? It snowed so much that year in the upper plains that we didn't get to See her before she died, we live 200 miles away and all roads closed about 30 minutes before we were to leave. The day after Christmas she went into hospice care, and I never saw her alive again. Two years later, my father passed away the day before my birthday, talk about a day to remember. I hadn't seen him in over two months either, he lives ovr 400 miles from me.

I miss them so much, I don't seem to be able to summon up enough happy genes to enjoy the season. Both of my boys are away from home, one just got married and my new dil is super, I love as if she were my own. But they are 1493 miles from my driveway. My youngest son is facing some pretty serious charges where he lives concerning a mocked up DUI and several other charges, so he doesn't call often enough.

My husband and I are "emtpy nesters" now with on ly the beagles to keep us company. AND his job requires that he worked today and late tomorrow night. Why, because other people want buns and bread for their dinners, pies and rolls for other meals on Christmas DAy. AND he's tired and ran down...he's a diabetic too.....

So what's the answer, this year I don't know. I am not an emotional eater thank goodness, or I'd gain back my 80 lbs. But I do have an "I don't care" attitude.

No I'm not going to hurt myself, so the Mod Squad doesn't need to send me a note. Just someone tell me how you do it on holidays when there is nothing in your heart or soul to push the happy button, At least I know God loves me. And that may be the most important thiing