I Judge How Others Eat and I Can't Stop It

I was diagnosed type 2 in July 2018. I am doing well with my BG and am learning so much about eating well. My problem is that wherever I go now and see people eating (most places it seems) people are eating terribly. My office mates are now eating from a giant bowl of Halloween candy. Their only thought, it seems, is what choice to make. I avoid restaurants now because I can’t bear to see people eat multiple portions of “food” that is full of carbohydrates. These people don’t even know how their food is cooked. I do not like judging others for any reason, but I can’t get past this point. I want to stand on my soapbox and scream “stop killing yourself. How can you put that stuff inside of you?” I so wish I was a more thoughtful eater years ago. I had no reason to do so. Now I do. I just wish others realized what damage is being done to their bodies from the choices of “food” they put into themselves. I wish I could stop judging them and just go on my way.

You can’t really control your internal thoughts.

All you can do is control what you say.



Not all who over indulge in carbs become a diabetic and then many who eat well balance diets do become diabetic. IMHO

1 Like

I know how you feel. When you get a serious medical diagnosis, it threatens your personal status quo in a way that’s hard to deny. After accepting your new normal and making appropriate changes like eating choices, it places you into a strange and stark contrast with how you used to be.

Other people’s choices remind you of how just a short time ago, you were ignorantly and blissfully in their camp. But now a new reality has shaken your view of how important food choices are to your health. You could have discovered this before your diagnosis but for a whole host a reasons did not.

Unfortunately, it’s not effective to brute force evangelize anyone and everyone you might corner with your newly-found discovery about the way people in our society eat. People tenaciously cling to food choices; their attachment to the way they eat rivals their connection to religion or a personal philosophic worldview.

Your quiet actions will speak louder than words. I try to only engage people on personal eating choices when they are ready to talk about it. People will conversationally let you know when your experience might help them. They might be upset about the diagnosis of a friend or the death of a dear relative and are wondering how their food choices might affect their well-being.

If they give you that opening, you can tell your story. But don’t push too hard. Sometimes people need to be repeatedly exposed to a different point of view before they will consider affecting real personal change.

It’s not your responsibility to bring your new realizations to your social contacts. I’m not religious in my life but one of the popes said something I admire for its sentiment. “See everything, overlook a great deal, correct a little.” I find this wise in its acknowledgement of how little we can actually influence the world and I admire its sense that we always keep trying at least in small ways.

Just try to relax and work on your health and lifestyle choices. The rest of the world will do what it does. It’s not your job to fix it.

Thank-you for provoking some interesting thoughts. Good luck with changing your health for the better!


Without having inherited a genetic predisposition to develop type 2 diabetes, people can eat what they want and it won’t make them diabetic. Some of the astonishing cases you hear of people who weigh so much they fill a room and have to be hauled out of their house by the fire department deal with people who, despite weighing as much as a grand piano, are not diabetic. On the other hand, among the new patients at any diabetes clinic there are many tall, thin, athletic adults who have just been diagnosed as type 2 diabetics because their genetic predisposition to the disease was so strong that even a healthy lifestyle made no difference.


LOL. it’s not my business what others eat at the restaurants that I go to. I don’t really even pay attention to what they are eating, to tell the truth. All I care about is that I get good service and the food is what I ordered. I’m not the food police.

Unfortunately the price of wisdom is that we can sometimes see things with greater clarity and understanding. Diabetes is a harsh teacher. I too want to shout from the soapbox but few, if any, will listen.

The bottom line is people that do not have diabetes are not interested in hearing about it. That was true for me and I see it in my friends and family.

I lost over 100 pounds after being diagnosed. It was a wakeup call for me. I explain my diet and exercise and get dismissed as either crazy, take it too seriously, or that I will gain all the weight back since I am on a “fad” diet. Lifestyle change does not get through lol…

I have learned to accept this by being grateful that I, and others, have found their path and I will help anyone that asks me for it as I have been helped by others.


Thank you, Mike. Very much appreciated. You are right that many do not want to hear about diabetes. I guess that is why there is a forum for us. You lost 100 lbs. That is great and it came, I am sure, only through much work and focus and dedication. The wake-up calls in life can be harsh as you said. I wish wakeup calls weren’t necessary, but they happen and, for many people, the push to change their life.
The sick American diet is so destructive and so many don’t think about what they are doing to themselves. I didn’t until I was told that I had diabetes.
This diabetes is a serious part-time job and it is always with us.

Bon Appetit Dave. Good for you. I am sure I will get to this point someday. I am still transitioning and have learned a lot to stay healthy so I am sensitive to what I see and experience. At some point, I guess I won’t notice and I’ll just worry about myself.

1 Like

Thank you Terry for your thoughtful response. Everything you said was right on target. It is exactly what I experience. I will continue my quiet battle as you suggest, but I am at the stage where I can’t believe some of the stuff I use to eat and now see others eating. I like the saying you mentioned that a Pope said. You are right that we can try in small ways at appropriate times to educate and we can serve as a model for others. Many people have not had the benefit of a wake-up call like we have had.
Again, I have read what you wrote many times now and it helps me be more understanding. I appreciate the time and advice.


Yes. That is true for sure. I saw that in my diabetes self-management classes and in my own family.

hehehe, Tom41. You seem like an honest dude. It may help to remember that people have a variety of medical histories. Not everyone is worried about diabetes. There are trade-offs. For instance, if someone had an ultra high rate of kidney failure in their family, then carbs may be the better alternative to high protein diet. Some people have high metabolism and high energy output and need to eat a lot. It all depends. Maybe this helps…

1 Like

Thanks for sharing this video, @mohe0001. The idea that a customized diet could be recommended by an algorithm informed by individual metrics to optimize post meal blood glucose is new to me. It makes sense. The human microbiome is a large unknown to science but we learn more each day. The project this video details shows how we can take the knowledge learned about a particular person’s uniques microbiome and then customize meal selection to affect good post-meal blood glucose impresses me.

I think that diet can be adjusted to affect many health metrics, even prevent or make less likely other health outcomes. The study of the microbiome offers so much possibility.

Interesting video in terms of the basic theoretical opposition between homeopathic and allopathic medicine. While homeopathic medicine always concentrates on identifying what type of person each patient is, given that it believes diseases will be entirely different with each basic physiological type of person, the ontological foundation of allopathic medicine is that everyone with a given disease is going to be treated and respond in essentially the same way. I’m not defending homeopathic medicine, but it is interesting to consider that if differences in our microbiomes are so important, then these may be key variables in treatment and in the nature of the disease experience for each individual.

There is a lot of research now on cross-talk between organs and the microbiome, with each shaping the other, and some therapeutic approaches now address the health of the microbiome as a way to treat diseased organs. For example, since diseased kidneys produce uremic toxins, which in turn further reduce the function of the kidneys, some substances have recently been developed to improve the capacity of the patient’s microbiome to neutralize uremic toxins, and the result has been to slow the progress of the patient towards renal failure.

An important side issue to keep in mind is that antibiotics wreak havoc with the microbiome, yet few doctors are sufficiently aware of this negative health consequence of prescribing antibiotics, which they are too ready to do anyway, given the increasing antibiotic resistance now underway.

I understand what you are trying to say. But have you ever heard of the “ diabetic police”? Nancy50

Years ago when i was and still am a well controlled t2, no meds. Goal less than six, I had a heated discussion with my brother in law his doc said 10 was bad he should shoot for 8. Oh well his doc said he fine… years later recently at a family gathering he was there without a leg his doc now says less tha, n 7 he is at 6.5 insulin dependent still saying his doc is right. At the breakfast gathering he went straight for the 60 carb muffins. I just have to take more insulin he said with a smile.
I just shut up and the family asked me to talk with him.
Not my business,

1 Like

My diabetic neighbor used to brag that he drank regular coke all the time and that being over 300-400 gave him no ill effect. We TRIED to warn him about such foolish behavior but he dismissed our comments. years later, he went blind, lost a leg, had heart attacks…and then died. Very sad for the family. Willfull disregard for the danger of high blood sugar seems far too common. He isn’t the only one that I’ve encountered with such an attitude. One gal I worked with said,“what I don’t know won’t hurt me”–she who would regularly run into the 300’s and beyond. (she didn’t want to test)

Of course on the other hand there are some patients who are genetically protected against the development of diabetic complications, thanks to a gatekeeper function which blocks DNA damage, so it is a pity that these people not only have to suffer needlessly with all the dietary restrictions, plus intensive blood glucose management and occasionally even death from hypoglycemia. Efforts are now underway to identify them in advance, rather than after 50 years of disease duration when little or no complications are found.

LOL! SO are you advocating that one play Russian Roulette and hope that THEY are one of those who are “needlessly suffering” from dietary restrictions, because they might lead a complication-free life despite having bg’s in the 300-500 range on a near daily basis?

FYI, I don’t even believe in your premise that some are genetically protected from complications if they let their bgs run wild. I will only concede that some diabetics who’s A1c’s are a number of whole digits higher than others, for decades, can have fewer, or no discernible complications, for some period of time. Beyond that, there is no proof that one can run bg’s super high indefinitely with no chance of complications/death.

And, “YES”, dying from hypos IS a very very real thing. No question.

Of course I’m not advocating for gambling that the patient has any genetic resistance to diabetic complications when this cannot be known: this is why I mentioned the ongoing research to find early ways to detect who belongs to this group or not.

You might want to consider this article:

Cell Metab. 2015 Aug 4;22(2):239-52.

Preserved DNA Damage Checkpoint Pathway Protects against Complications in Long-Standing Type 1 Diabetes.

Bhatt S

The mechanisms underlying the development of complications in type 1 diabetes (T1D) are poorly understood. Disease modeling of induced pluripotent stem cells (iPSCs) from patients with longstanding T1D (disease duration ≥ 50 years) with severe (Medalist +C) or absent to mild complications (Medalist -C) revealed impaired growth, reprogramming, and differentiation in Medalist +C. Genomics and proteomics analyses suggested differential regulation of DNA damage checkpoint proteins favoring protection from cellular apoptosis in Medalist -C. In silico analyses showed altered expression patterns of DNA damage checkpoint factors among the Medalist groups to be targets of miR200, whose expression was significantly elevated in Medalist +C serum. Notably, neurons differentiated from Medalist +C iPSCs exhibited enhanced susceptibility to genotoxic stress that worsened upon miR200 overexpression. Furthermore, knockdown of miR200 in Medalist +C fibroblasts and iPSCs rescued checkpoint protein expression and reduced DNA damage. We propose miR200-regulated DNA damage checkpoint pathway as a potential therapeutic target for treating complications of diabetes.